Chapter 21

There is hidden path to knowledge that not everyone will seek. But those who seek will surely find the keys to a timeless, sacred space. It is not a knowledge gleaned from books, but yet it is a path of study. It is a knowledge gained from direct experience that convicts you in the truth. There is an everlasting peace within you, a way marked with wisdom and compassion. But you will not come upon it randomly or by happenstance. You must hunger and thirst for this spiritual knowledge. The desire for the transcendent experience of the inner world must hound you and never leave you alone. The yearning must beckon you on an ancient quest for the soul. As you delve into the darkness you will find a light so bright that it nearly blinds you. You will taste and drink of the waters of everlasting life. With forgiveness and mercy you will enter this temple of spirit. But with bitterness, pride, anger or judgement you will only block yourself. Discover the hidden truth within. The moment you see it, you will feel a freedom that you always knew was there but perhaps didn't dare to believe was real, like an ancient promise. You are worthy. You are made whole and complete in spirit. With grace and faith mountains will move for you. 

Haters gonna hate. Don't negotiate. I've been called vapid, hollow, fake, fame-seeking, privileged, ignorant, uninformed, uneducated, intimidating and inauthentic over the last few days. Add to that a whole series of comments about my butt, feet, cellulite and age and it could be a recipe for a self-esteem disaster. Men I've never met send me pictures of their private parts on Snapchat, leave illicit comments on YouTube telling me what body of mine they fantasize about and get mad when I don't respond and tell me to shut the "f" up and open my b***s on Periscope. I've thought about hiding under a rock and taking down all my social media accounts, but what good would that do? I have a "do not respond" policy to negative comments but sometimes I must admit that I get drawn in. There is a part of me that believes that everyone will respond to reason, that one day when people get to know the "real" me they'll see that I'm a good person. But lately I've come to a different conclusion. Not everyone responds to reason. You can't negotiate with someone who hates you and sees only your worst features. In fact you'll be wasting your time. No sense in trying to talk them into love when they are already judge, jury and conviction against you. That got me thinking about how much time I've spent in my life trying to prove to someone else that I'm a good person. I'm done with that. I'm a good person. You can see it or not. I'm not perfect and I've got my inconsistencies and faults, but I'm a good person. I know it and that's really all that matters. Be yourself. Be true to yourself. Be strong enough to take the good and the bad and not let it take you off your authentic course. Don't change to please people. Sing the tune of you with the relaxed self-acceptance that comes knowing exactly who you are and loving it. 

When you feel defeated, beaten-down and hopeless. When you you have the feeling that no matter how hard you work all your success will always be just a few steps beyond your reach. When you feel lost, scared and burdened. There is a promise made to every sincere seeker of the truth. You will not be left behind. You will not be forgotten. You are special. You are worthy of love. You are cherished. Your dreams and prayers are heard. Have faith. Dawn will rise again and with it new hope, new life, new love. Be strong enough to nurture the seed of faith planted deep in the garden of your heart.

Contextual truth vs. Absolute truth:

How do you know you know? There are many things that seem so certain, beliefs, values, judgments that we make about things that should always be or should never be, broad statements that we so often spout as knee-jerk responses taken for granted as truth. But can we ever really see the full side of every story? How do we know we see the truth and not just our habituated patterned preferences? There is a point of absolute knowledge, the only complete vantage point and it is not ours, it belongs to God. The absolute truth, the full multidimensional truth that sees all things, hears all things, knows all things for all time cannot be contained, cannot be owned, nor perhaps even adequately described or defined. When we are quick to judge, to pronounce our culturally contextual morality as the absolute is often rooted so deeply within us that we fail to understand what may be different situations than our norm. For every time I have ever said with certainty that something "should not" ever be so or that something "always should" be so, I have been proven wrong by the particularity of a context that I simply didn't understand. We cannot judge others by the contextual standards of our own lives. We can only strive to live a more peaceful life for ourselves.

Competent or Likable:

I read an article this morning that cited a study finding that women in the public sphere are perceived as either competent or likable but not both. I have not been able to stop thinking about it. What do you think? 

I remember being in the gifted program in school, graduating school class, winning debate team awards and getting one of the three highest grades on a brutal advanced calculus exam. Competency was never an issue. But I never won any popularity contests. I was never prom queen, never voted miss anything by anyone, never considered one of the pretty girls the guys asked out. If you needed help with your homework, essay, or a test, sure we could study, but beyond that not so much. 

And now? In the yoga world I get more comments about people not liking my voice, disapproving of my outfits, make-up, car choice, and a long list of everything else. Some people say I'm too advanced to be relatable. But rarely is my competence questioned.

And I wouldn't change a thing. If there is choice between competency or likability, I choose competence every single time. I'd rather get things done, make a difference in the world and have everyone hate me or think I'm a b***h then spend one more second worrying about whether I am likable. But maybe one day we will live in a world where women can be both likable and competent, a world where a strong woman can be both celebrated, cherished and respected. Maybe that agreeable, smiley, cool-girl persona is just a ruse and we will wake up to the strong, powerful, world-shakers that women really are. Maybe, just maybe, one day, it won't matter whether you're a man or a woman, it will just matter whether you're a good person and you can get the job done. 

Be strong enough not to be liked. Life is more than a popularity contest. Drop the need to be liked and just be yourself.

Concentration vs. Meditation:

Dharana is concentration and consists of efforts towards steadying and strengthening the mind. 

Dhyana is meditation and is a thoughtless, wordless state that you can only slip into after the mind is focused on a single point of attention. This is called the eka-tattva state and is also known as the meditative mind or the yogi's mind. Calm, balanced and equanimous the yogi's mind is able to remain focused on a single point of attention over a sustained period of time. It is only the calm mind that can experience the deepest truth of the spirit within. 

Meditation is like gardening. Walk into the heart center and experience its depth like an inner sanctuary. Be honest about what you see when you gaze deeply within. You may need to do some weeding and remove old habit patterns and wounds. Depending on what you see you may need different things in order to heal and allow the natural beauty of your heart to shine. If you see anxiety, then you need to plant the seed of peace. If you see anger, then you need to plant the seed of forgiveness. If you see sadness, then plant the seed of happiness. If you see hatred whether directed as yourself or another, then plant the seed of love. If you see pride, then plant the seed of humility. If you see jealousy or bitterness then you plant the seed of fulfillment and joy. The spiritual path begins by taking an honest look at where you are. Use the tool of mediation to truly see and start your journey today.