Chapter 6

Look inside your heart. Listen with patience and attentiveness. Enter your inner sanctuary and become still. This is the innermost temple of the heart, the seat of the soul in your body. Give up your ego in reverence of this deep truth. See yourself glowing from within. This is who you really are. Never forget it. All the pettiness, nervous energy, sadness, anger and fear is all just an illusion. Take time today to find your inner sanctuary deep in the garden of the heart. Close your eyes and feel your way through the mental and emotional obstacles. Walk the long road back home. 

Sometimes we are too proud to say we're sorry, admit our mistakes, or look like a fool. I used to be like that. There was a moment when after multiple trips to India that I thought I had the inside scoop, that I was special. My pride kicked in and suddenly I thought I was somebody because I could press up into a handstand. My teachers proceeded to show me otherwise. When I thought I was strong enough they asked me to be stronger. Where I thought I would be first they put me last. Every place where I felt satisfied with myself they sought out and broke down the guard of my ego until I realized that I was no better than anyone else, that a handstand isn’t a measure of strength. Being strong has nothing to do with what you can and can’t do physically. It has to do with how much you’re willing to open your heart. Guruji said that pride is one of the six enemies that surrounds the heart and blocks the path to liberation. Called Mada in Sanskrit, pride and stubborn-mindedness take shape as a giant Asura in the Mahabharata known as the intoxicator who has the power to swallow up the entire universe in one gulp. Pride is just like that. It has the power to destroy all your happiness in a flash. 

The first step down the road of knowledge is to admit that you do not have all the answers. There is a fine line to walk between a healthy sense of self-esteem and an inflated ego. Admitting that you’re not perfect, that you need help, that you haven’t got it all together on your own is sometimes a bigger act of strength and faith than trying to cover up your mess. Having a humble, teachable spirit paves the way for your heart to open and for the power of grace to step in and take the reigns of your life. Pride gets in the way. As long as you think you have all the answers, that you can teach yourself, that you’ve got it all perfectly under control, then your heart will harden and pride will keep you distant from everyone, including yourself. What matters in life is to be humble, to be kind, to share more love. Nobody cares about handstands if you’re not a nice person.

When I first started the practice I used to feel like I had to give 150% every single time in every single breath or else I would be a slacker. When someone told me to try less hard I thought they were nuts. One day after nearly ten years of practice in the middle of a ten day meditation retreat I got this brilliant idea to relax and see what happened. And you know what? It was amazing. Just as I started to let go of all that extra effort I started to open my heart and mind to receive things that are bigger than I could ever imagine. When I stopped trying to bend the world according to my will I started to experience the magic of divine will. It sounds simple but learning how to relax wasn't easy. It's like finding the sweet spot between just the right amount of effort and surrender, the perfect mix of strength and grace

Patanjali says that after the firm posture of asana is established we should relax all unnecessary effort and meditate on the infinite. Letting go of the need to control recognizes that the idea that you can control anything is false and a delusion of the ego. Try to bend someone to your will and it always go wrong. Try to bend the world to your will and it will fight back. But relax, surrender and let it all go and you'll experience the freedom that is the heart of yoga. Ask yourself what you're trying to control in your life, what you're holding on tightly to and where that comes from. It most likely comes from fear and insecurity. Relax and let it go. Trust in the purity of your true self, have faith that there is a divine plan for specially made for you that is full of blessings. You will never force the pearly gates of heaven to open. Relax, soften and just be. You might just discover heaven right here on earth, see an angel in your midst, or be happier than your wildest dreams.

No matter where you go or what you do you are always yourself. There is nothing you can ever do, nothing you can wear, no story you can tell that will change the basic fact of who you are. Instead of running from it, accept it, trust it, embrace it, love it because it's all you've got. Big city or countryside, busy street or quiet escape, tall building or beach, you always bring yourself wherever you go. You can never really run away from yourself. Go to an ashram far away and think you'll find peace? The only peace you have is the peace that's in your heart already. If you could only see yourself through the eyes of spirit then you would know that you are whole, you are complete, you are worthy of love. You are bright and cherished, you are more powerful than an angel. 

Yoga is sometimes called a science of self-realization. It could also be called a path of radical self-acceptance. Today ask yourself this, what are you running away from? We are all afraid of something, we are all running or avoiding something, most often some aspect of ourselves that is unresolved stemming from feelings of insecurity, feelings of not being good enough. Take the first step down the road of self-discovery and stop running from yourself. Be who you are. Relax, let all the struggle go, because you can't be anyone other than who you are anyway. And isn't a kind of a relief? Who you are is defined by the small moments of your life. How you treat one person is how you treat everyone. Every single person is worth your time. The taxi driver, the waitstaff, the cleaners, the check-in agent, your accountant, your lawyer, your yoga teacher, your car sales man, a police officer, a fireman, the President, a famous actor. Don't wait for someone fabulous to be nice. Be nice to everyone because in the eyes of spirit we are all equal.

Called Maitri in Sanskrit, cultivating at attitude of friendliness changes your world to a more peaceful place. Take time to get to know everyone in your life because no one is put there randomly. Ask questions, listen with an open and curious heart. If you could see yourself through the eyes of spirit then you would know without a doubt that we are all stars, that we are all worthy of love, that we all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Be friendly to everyone you meet today. Share a smile and it might change someone's day. Don't save up your kindness for someone special because everyone is special, everyone is a spiritual being looking for love and you might just be the divine messenger of a healing gift today. 

Quietly put in the work every day. Commit yourself to taking slow small steps along the path of your dreams. Let no task be beneath you. Let no obstacle deter you. Exhaust all possibilities. Never give up. Don't get distracted by what other people are doing or saying. Don't try to take anyone down. Be humble, be kind. Never sell yourself or dreams short. Be strong enough to believe in yourself against all odds. Strength in yoga is often called Sthira in Sanskrit, meaning not only physical prowess but also steadfast determination. Say the course through exhaustion, doubt, and innumerable setbacks. Every struggle is a spiritual battle. Be strong, be brave, be a yogi. You are on the path. Your life is blessed. Your heart is full of love. Your soul is glowing, you are restored to your highest potential. Each breath is a chance to shine brighter than a thousand suns.

Sometimes you have to make energy to get it. Yesterday after too little sleep and teaching all day I had the choice between resting and going into the city. Guess which one I choose? After walking around beautiful Vienna and popping into a few handstands for a live broadcast on Periscope I was full of energy. People ask me all the time how I have so much energy. Honestly I think it's because I'd rather be doing something than nothing. For me idle hand's are the devil's workshop and I can fall into depressions that pull me under unless I do something to lift my spirits. Handstands and arm balances are empowering, uplifting, energizing, and healing for me. Getting upside down can change my whole mood. And there is nothing like the full focused ninety minute Ashtanga practice that makes my spirit glow with vitality. I also love walks on the beach, stopping to smell the flowers or gaze up at the sky, reading inspirational books, meditation, sight-seeing everywhere and when all else fails a little vegan ice cream and shopping aren't bad either. 

Do something today that brings you energy. Don't let anyone set the rules for what that should be. Find your secret well-spring of personal power and tap into it. Nourish yourself. Find your Prana and let it flow. How you see the world determines what kind of world you live in. Stay boxed up in preconceived notions of the truth and your world will shrink and collapse in on itself. Expand your horizons, shift the box of comfortable a little each day. Do something crazy. Change the way you see things. If you look down while walking on the street, look up. If you always take the same route, try a different one.

Scrub off the lens of perception and see the world fresh with new eyes. Rediscover the ordinary at every turn because you never know what magic awaits you. No amount of worrying will ever change a situation. No amount of stressing out ever solved a problem. Worry, stress and anxiety pretty much only make things worse. Thinking that you can control all the details of the grand orchestra of life is a false hubris that leads to an emotional dead end. Instead of control, surrender. Trust that you will have exactly what you need, not what you want but what you truly need. It will not always be easy, but it will always works out in your best interest in the long run, even if it's not according to your plan.

Let tomorrow worry about tomorrow, keep your mind and heart present today. As long as you're operating from the mindset that you have to hold all the pieces of your life together, then you're blocking yourself off from receiving the biggest gift of all, grace. Don't sweat the small stuff or the big stuff. Leave sweating for the yoga mat and enjoy your life. No matter what happens, don't worry. If you miss a flight, flunk a test, get fired, get sick, have your heart broken, go bankrupt, get injured, get bad news, suffer loss of any kind, don't worry. It will all be ok. You are ok. 

Let the whole world laugh at you. Let them doubt you, ignore you, try to disprove you. It doesn't matter if you love what you do and you own your truth. Once the light is burning in your soul there is no way you cannot shine. You don't turn a lamp on and put it in a closet. You let it shine. Because really who are you not to?

Imagine if the sun decided not to rise because people complained that it was too hot. Imagine if apple trees stopped producing fruit because they overheard someone say that oranges were better. Imagine if a sunflower decided not to bloom because someone said its stalk was dangerously too high. Ridiculous. So who are you not to rise up and do exactly what you were put here to do? Embrace your true self. Be fierce. Be fearless. #BeYourOwnStar 

There is a pain I feel when my alarm goes off at 5 am. I accept it. There is a pain that I feel burning in my abs and thighs when I hold Navasana for longer than usual. I accept it. There is a pain that I feel when because of an injury I have to modify my practice and take it easy. I accept it. I do not run away from it. 

How we each define pain is simultaneously a semantic discussion and a personal experience. One person may identify strong muscular activation as pain whereas another may fail to identify pain at all. Each person has a different pain threshold and a different level of sensitivity in their bodies. Simply saying that we should never feel pain when we practice disregards the highly personal journey of body awareness. As a general rule during your practice pain around the joints should be avoided, but even that cannot be so universally applied because not everyone can actually feel their joints when they practice. 

Called Dukha in Sanskrit, yoga philosophy says that human beings have a tendency to seek pleasure and avoid pain and that this cycle is a large part of why we suffer. Yoga offers a path out of that darkness through the cultivation of the strong, equanimous mind that is not disturbed by the inevitable fluctuations between pleasure and pain, attachment and aversion. Along these lines, saying that you should never feel pain in yoga misses the point. It’s well-intended but not exactly right. It’s like when I was sixteen years old and a boyfriend broke up with me and my Mom told me, “Sweetheart, you should never have your heart broken.” While a perfect world without pain or broken hearts seems to be attractive, it is neither real nor authentic in my opinion. Your heart has to be broken for you to know what it truly means to love. You cannot spend your life running from heartbreak or pain because suffering is a basic fact of life. Running away from pain is a false belief that you can actually keep all the pain away with your own efforts. Surrendering to the small pains of the yoga practice teaches you a spiritual lesson in how to respond to painful and difficult moments in your life.

Knowledge is power, but limited knowledge can also be a trap. What you think you “know” may in fact only be a partial view of the whole story. We used to think the world was flat and persecute scientists for demonstrating otherwise. I personally don’t believe I will ever know the full story about any given situation. It’s hard to navigate the murky territory between knowledge and judgement. The only thing that I’m set on is that I’ll never actually have all the answers, see the full picture and have the omniscience to know it all. Life for me is about humility and surrender. I believe that it is possible for every single person to have a transcendent experience of the highest self within and that those moments of intimate connection with God are what life is really about. But what works for me might not work for you and what works for you might not work for me and that’s ok. 

Called Avidya in Sanskrit, it is the lack of knowledge of the true self that is considered to be the root of all suffering and the root obstacle alone the spiritual path. Avidya can also take shape as willful ignorance, the unwillingness to see, admit or recognize the truth when it is reveled to you. Think about how many times you have held on to preconceived notions about a person only to block yourself off from actually knowing or connecting with them. Admitting your ignorance is an important step towards humility along the spiritual path. Sometimes we hold onto knowledge in the effort to build up a false sense of self, to be “somebody” in the eyes of the world. Today rest in the purity of your true self and say the words, “I don’t know”. Not knowing doesn’t make you any less of a person, instead it makes you exactly who you are. Realizing that you don’t have to have all the answers is like letting a huge burden off your shoulders. Instead of trying to prove yourself, just be yourself.