Chapter 3

The perfect body is the one you have. I spent years of my life wishing to be taller, dreaming that my legs would magically elongate and lengthen, pinching my thighs together to see what they'd look like smaller. People have told me that my body is round, my butt is flat, my arms are too buff, my face is old, my b***s are too small, my abs too soft, my hair too bleeched, my eyes too covered in mascara. Whatever. Let them say what they want. I'm just me. And I love my body. It's took me nearly a decade of consistent yoga practice before I could actually say that I loved my body, that I loved myself beyond the body. You are not your body any more than you are your car, your house, your job, your clothes or your country. We inhabit these material places but our true home is in the spirit world. The practice is a gateway to the inner experience of the infinite self within. The best thing about the body is that it is a field of experience through which you can feel and perceive the depths of yourself and the world. Once you touch the depth and powerful of true self, all the obstacles to freedom melt away. Then nothing is left but love. Love yourself. Love your body. Love the whole world.

Kurukshetra in the story of the Gita is the field of the epic battle of the Mahabharata and taken to symbolize the spiritual battlefield of every yogi's struggle. Every yogi embarks on a spiritual journey. The body is ground zero for the test faced along the inner path. The field of the body stores emotions, memories, traumas. Accessing the inner body means accessing the deepest state of meditative awareness in your yoga practice. Look inside your body, you might just discover the whole universe in there.

Busy-ness is addictive. It has an inertia that draws more and more activity into its swirling vortex. It feels impossible to stop. If you have this affliction, then your most common answer to the question of how you're doing is one word--busy! It's like a mild state of mania, this perpetual running, staying so busy so don't have to feel anything. One of the most powerful Vrttis of modern life, this heightened state of arousal almost always means your nervous system is jacked up so high so that the idea of relaxing, dropping down, tuning in seems impossible. But just under surface of all that busy-ness is often one big busy-mess. Emotions that you'd rather not feel like sadness, depression, anger, anxiety, self-pity, fear. Physical issues like injury, pain, sickness. No matter how fast your world spins, nor how busy you really are, it is your life and you have a choice. It is your desire that fuels the fire. All you have to do is stop long enough for the breath to melt away some of your emotional armor. All you have to do is be strong enough to face what you're running from.

Persistently singing the tune of what you lack is a self-directed negativity that stems from a feeling of low self-esteem. I know because I’ve been there. When I first started practicing all the yoga postures were so difficult. I struggled with everything. I thought that one day when I finally got the next pose I would be whole. People that were far away from where I was were easy to celebrate because they were in another league. But the practitioners who were around the same level I was on but just a little bit further along�"they drove me nuts. Instead of cultivating a community oriented attitude I was consumed with jealousy and competition. Even though I mostly kept it to myself, it still ate away at my heart. I lost the chance to make lasting friendships. I thought that their success somehow took mine away. Jealousy comes from a place where you feel that you aren’t enough. I never believed I was good enough, strong enough, pretty enough. I searched for something to fill up the void within. But when you look for your true self in the material world, whether in objects or accomplishments, you always sell yourself short. Jealousy is one of the six enemies, the Arishadvargas, that surround the heart. Jealousy is like a disease of the spirit. If you see someone that has exactly what you want and are afraid you’ll never get, it’s hard not to think antagonistic thoughts towards them, let alone celebrate their success. It can feel like there is a limited amount of the magic substance of success in the world and that once someone else has it, you’ll never get. But you’ll either have the feeling of having enough right now, exactly as you are or no matter how much you have it will never be enough. There is no material object, no worldly accomplishment that completes you. Harboring negative thoughts towards someone else’s success only harms yourself. We are all worthy of love. Your spiritual inheritance is happiness and joy. Your soul is meant to sing with complete inner harmony. Enlightenment doesn’t live within any asana. If you think so you’ll just make an asana out of yourself. 

Love is action. Love is strength. Love is never giving up. Love survives even in a hopeless place. Love outlasts all things. Love is humble, kind and forgiving. Love is all there is

Be love, share love, feel love. Sounds easy? But try to go one whole day with only love in your heart and you'll see that it's not a simple task. If you notice yourself taking any action that isn't grounded in love, just drop it, don't do it. Feel yourself getting pulled into a heated exchange, walk away. If you notice yourself complaining in your head or harboring negativity towards yourself or other, drop that thought right away. Replace vengeance with forgiveness, aggression with peace, argument with listening, contempt with respect. Be a force of healing in then world. Be strong. Be love.

Health is an expression of the vibrancy of your spirit, just as much as it is a choice of diet and exercise. If you eat well and work-out but leave the soul searching for nourishment then you will be starved and weak. True sustenance cannot be found in the material world. There is nothing you can do that will pollute your immutable soul. There is nothing you can add to yourself to make your spirit whole. You are already whole and worthy in the eyes of spirit. Turn towards the spirit for guidance in moments of difficulty. Define yourself not by what you have done, but by who are in the depths of your soul.

Life is an epic journey filled with beautiful soaring peaks and arduous passages through darkness and difficulty. There is no way to make the fleeting moments of happiness permanent. There is no escape from suffering in this world. To think otherwise is simply an illusion. Every obstacle is a lesson in perseverance, a chance to ask for guidance and help, a chance to surrender deeper into the arms of spirit. Drop down to a level where you can feel, hear and experience the grandness of the spiritual world. It is the strength of the soul where you will find the endurance to walk the narrow road of truth, let go of attachments to pleasure and aversions from pain, remain steady and calm amidst the stormy seas of life. Where do you turn to nourish the soul along the journey of life? Where do you turn for spiritual sustenance?

"How long will it take before I can do a handstand, backbend or full lotus?" I wish I could say a few weeks, but really it's more likely going to be a long time. It took me five years to really feel stable in handstands. The journey into backbends is a descent into the emotional body that seems to never end. If you have a long habituated pattern of stress and tension that results in a near chronic pain, expect to commit yourself to a longterm life transformation

"The practice of yoga is very difficult, while lifetime take practice, some small benefit there for you." Far beyond attainment of any asana, Guruji judged success in yoga by how much peace is in the person's heart. That makes handstands and backbends look relatively easy. Think of the spiritual journey of yoga as rebuilding the innermost temple of the true self. After a period of neglect and emotional warfare, reverence and sacredness were swept aside and lost in the rubble. When you start the practice with sincerity to live a more peaceful life you are essentially restoring yourself to your pure state and rebuilding the temple walls. It takes time. Commit yourself to daily practice and with patience and devotion over many years you will find not only handstands and backbends, but a life of inner peace built around the sacred temple of the true self within. With this as your foundation you will always remember who you really are. You are bright. You are beautiful. You are bigger than anything that seeks to drag you down. Never judge yourself by whether or not you can do a yoga pose. Instead, ask yourself if you are living a more peaceful life. 

It's the simple things in life that count. A smile. A hug. A little laughter. An easy afternoon with the person you love. Never let life get too complicated. Don't overthink the good times. You don't need to be the queen to live the life you love. People ask me all the time how I motivate myself to practice on my own at home. I have days where I feel uninspired, heavy, lethargic and simply do not want to practice. But I do it anyway. The feeling of being on my mat so dramatically changes my day and the quality of my life that it’s just simply worth it. I started this practice out of a sincere desire to live a more peaceful life. Since that fortune meeting I have never doubted or wavered from the desire to get on my mat every day. When I’m tired, I get on my mat. When I’m injured, anxious, sad, angry, happy, joyful, jet-lagged, I get on my mat. at home in Miami, in a random hotel room while traveling, I get on my at least once a day. Whether it’s a dedicated full 90 minute practice or just five minutes of meditation yoga is so much a part of my lifestyle that it’s not something that I question, it’s just a part of who I am.

If I can’t conceptualize the idea of a full practice I just go and stand on my mat. Then I give myself permission to just do five minutes of Sun Salutations. But usually after that I want to do more and end up doing the full practice. When I’m feeling really uninspired to practice all I have to do is hear Guruji’s voice saying the magic words, “Ekam inhale” and my body is suddenly thirsty for the practice. Called Prayukti in Sanskrit, we all need a little positive motivation to drag ourselves out of bed when the alarm goes off and you’re exhausted. You could join a yoga challenge, practice with friends, read yoga books, join a class or watch yoga videos online. Do you want to see my top recommend reading list for spiritual inspiration? How do you motivate yourself to get up and practice?

In our own way, in our own time we are all searching for home. We all need a feeling of belonging, a sense of lasting peace. We are beings of light and love. We are all scarred, wounded, hurting, suffering, and fighting our own epic emotional battles. Our only shelter is in the wings of grace. There is no permanent happiness in the material world. There is no firm ground to stand on amidst the shifting sands of time. Everything is temporary, every moment is fleeting.

Called Saranam in Sanskrit, the only real place to seek refuge is in the center of your heart, through complete surrender. Finding a connection beyond the material world to the truth of who you are is the journey back home to the true self. Once you see yourself through the eyes of spirit will you have the strength to walk the long and narrow road of truth back to your center. Seeking refuge in the material world will leave you empty, exhausted, beaten down. Seeking refuge in God is a relief, like a good night's sleep after a long travel. Even a momentary glimpse of the power and magnitude of your true spiritual nature provides lasting sustenance for the seeker's journey. Be strong. Strong enough to surrender, to die to yourself and all you know. Strong enough to know when you need to seek shelter, take refuge from the storm. When you have no strength, nothing left to lose, when you are lost, weary, broken-hearted and finally ready to ask for help, then God will reach in and lift you up, heal you, restore you, make you whole again. Your heart will overflow with love. Your soul will sing with joy. You will be in the world but no longer of it. You will be free. And you will finally be home.