Chapter One

The first chapter, meet Shatanveris, Taeririel, Meiririel, and Shariveris

C-R-R-RACK! The resounding noise boomed through the valley, its bowled shaped curvature causing an increased amplification. To an outsider the echoing noise might have been unnerving, but to Shaetanveris �"or Shae- the noise his axe threw off with every cord of wood was comforting and reassuring. Muscles clenched and retracted beneath his work worn shirt; stained with sweat, grass, and dirt from the heavy manual labor. One more cord of wood deftly swept to stand on one end, and with a fluidity born of repetition another swift downward stroke of the axe. In the distance, where small cottages dotted the countryside, Shae could hear his neighbors also storing up wood for what looked to be a rough winter.

                Lifting his unusual hay-colored eyes, he caught a glimpse of a familiar sight of a wagon making its way slowly up the rutted road that passed directly through the Hollow. On the wagon was an elderly man, his gray beard snarled and bushy, rivaled only by the fat hairy caterpillars that passed for his eyebrows above his rheumy blue eyes. Beside the wagon, leading the mules in a plodding gait was a younger woman with a shock of black hair that defied every pin and restraint ever put into it. Both of their clothing spoke of their peasantry stature, worn and well-used but in the Hollow where not a Nobleman had stepped foot for many decades they fit right in, and so made their way with heads lifted proudly. It was Meiririel and his daughter Taeririel, informally known as Meir and Taer.

                Though Shae had reached manhood at a ripe ‘old’ age of sixteen, he could not prevent the grin that spread his sun tanned cheeks at the sight of them. Meir was a favorite amongst the children of the Hollow, whom all called him Grandfather though none were of his blood, and Shae was not an exception. Meir always had a fascinating story to tell of beyond the Hollow’s boundaries, and while Shae loved to listen to the adventures of the various hero’s in the stories they only cemented his love of his home.

                Taer clucked lightly beneath her tongue as the mules pulled the wagon up alongside the hitching post in front of the plain three room home that Shae had been reared in. Her own eyes were sharp and her face ageless though no one knew exactly how old she was, at least not in the Hollow. Looking around, a habit that cannot be unlearned when one is always on edge as these perilous times called for, her own eyes of amber takes in the place she had called Home for the last fourteen years. The trees that grew wild and free, towering to great heights, the foreboding mountains that cut the Hollow �"and the rest of the human realm- from that of the dwarves rising up to mar the perfect blue skies to the west, and the rapid river that marked the boundaries of the place on the three other sides, effectively blocking off the Hollow with only a single bridge to enter or exit. A bittersweet smile lifts the corners of her lips, and for just a second Shae felt a small sense of worry settle into his stomach at her expression. However it quickly left her face, and she turns her gaze toward the red-headed boy �"no, the man she reminds herself- that had hesitated in his route to greet them.

                “Good morning Shae,” She smiles, hardly able to believe that she now had to actually lift her chin upwards to look upon his ruddy face. Where had the time flown? It was going too fast, she was not ready! All these thoughts buzzing in her head, but her face remained calm and serene. “I see your father has you busy. Preparing for the Testing day are we?” Her black brow, slashed against ivory skin raises patiently, her almost matronly tones inquiring but not pushing. Her hands reach into her gray homespun dress, into one of the many hidden pockets that she had sewn into it, bringing forth a vial of liquid that was oily, and black.

                Swiping a red errant curl that kept falling forward despite his efforts, Shae wipes his calloused hands on his trousers, not heeding the smear of dirt that now marred the sturdy fabric before lifting his hand to offer the old man a step down. “Here we go Grandfather,” he says, as the old man places his paper-thin seeming hand into the palm of the boy, huffing and groaning just a little as he heaves himself downward. “Yes, there is a lot to do still, though the day is two weeks out, we expect the troops to be in and needing a camping area within the week. Ma is in the kitchen if you want to speak to her Mistress Taeririel.” While the old man gave Shae the feeling of comfort, warmth, and excitement, Taer was the opposite. She made him feel as if he was still a child in need of direction and disciplining.

                “You go on in daughter,” Meir says, his voice rumbling behind the unruly beard surprisingly stout for the frail appearance. “Take care of your business, me and the lad here, we can pass the time. My old bones need time to stop shaking from that rattletrap.” Despite the age that sagged the flesh on his face, the eyes that must have been a deep blue fading to a lighter blue, the old man leaned only slightly on a gnarled walking stick. Thinking about it, as he assisted the man to a tall stump generally used for mounting and dismounting, Shae could not remember a time the old man in the last fourteen years had been without that stick.

                Taer gives the lad one more look, not one of distrust but a thoughtful gaze before ducking into the dim room inside. The inn was a simple one, ran for common people rather than noblemen. The furniture was old, but well-kept and crafted by a careful hand. There were no extra frills that one would expect from an inn that expected to cater to one of the elite, but instead was reasonably priced with clean rooms and good service.

                Behind the counter was a stout woman of medium height, the lines around her eyes suggested one of middle years. The woman was briskly wiping down the few cups that were used earlier, Shariveris did not whistle while she worked but it was obvious that she took pride in it.

                “Shari…” The soft name spoken caused the woman to lift her head, and immediately stiffen. The towel was lowered, as the glass but the middle aged woman did not move from around the counter. “One more winter has passed, and next week the Testers will begin to arrive.” At the word ‘testers’ Shari immediately tensed, as most with children younger than sixteen in Nadyr the realm of humans.

                Testers were specially trained men from the King who made annual trips to all of the villages, towns, and cities to conduct tests upon the children. Everyone lived in fear of these days, though outwardly they praised the cadre, fearing that their children will test positive for The Craft and be sent away. No one knew exactly where the children were sent that tested positive, only that they were never seen again. The King declared that they were a danger, that the evil that had arisen more than five centuries before had only done so at the hands of Magic users. Everyone carried the ability to pass on the gene but very few actually were born with the trait.

                “Shae…” Shari spoke, her dark normal eyes flicking to the doorway and back, her fingers clasping tightly on the counter.”

                “Is coming into his sixteenth year and will only endure one more year of testing, all we must do is pray he does not test positive this time around, and he will never be tested again.” Carefully, moving with ease though there were no guests in the main room, her hand sliding the vial of dark liquid across the counter, Taeri gives Shari a knowing look. “You have adopted him, and made him your son. Do not forget where he comes from though, your love has guided him, but let our gift shield him. One more testing Shari…just one more.”

                Shari closed her fingers around the vial, its liquid cooling the glass surrounding. It was a normal procedure, from the time Shae was two and Taeri and Meir came into the Hollow with the fat baby boy. A slip into the community well, and drank with evening meals in the water. Harmless, however it had an odd side effect of causing everyone’s eyes to darken. The villagers pondered this anomaly at first, and for several years there were denouncers of evil however after a while when it became obvious that their eyes return to their normal shades they just wrote it off as one of those oddities that have undertaken the land since Balance was destroyed.

Author's Note

Again, grammar help appreciated!

Reviews

[EurasianFlavour]

It's starting to get interesting! :)
Here are the most obvious grammar mistakes I found upon first read:

"The resounding noise boomed through the valley, its bowled shaped curvature causing an increased amplification." Using both resounding boomed is a bit redundant, and change bowled to bowl-shaped. Although this sentence is a little confusing to begin with...are you saying the sound waves are bowl-shaped?

"the noise his axe threw off with every cord of wood was comforting and reassuring." It would flow better to say "the noise his axe made when striking a cord of wood.."

"Though Shae had reached manhood at a ripe ‘old’ age of sixteen" Because you have ripe you don't need old. It's repetitive.

"whom all called him Grandfather though none were of his blood" Okay, I get who and whom mixed up allllll the time, so I'm not positive which it is (I think it's whom), but regardless, take out "him".

"There were no extra frills that one would expect from an inn that expected to cater to one of the elite, but instead was reasonably priced with clean rooms and good service." No need for the second expected: "one would expect from an inn that catered to the elite"

"Looking around, a habit that cannot be unlearned when one is always on edge as these perilous times called for, her own eyes of amber takes in the place she had called Home for the last fourteen years." Starting from here until the end of this chapter, you switched verb tenses!! Switch back! haha.

Hope this helps!