Darkness

Deep in the night
As ether sun begins to
Rise, and the animals run free, not
Knowing if their going to receive their
Next meal our if a hunter is going to
End their life in the next
Second, they only know of here and now and the
Serenity of the woods and meadows

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This provides the atmosphere to descibe the dawn thus the darkness gets somewhat lost. I think the word in the second line should be 'aether' and there is a typo:
'Next meal our if a hunter is going to' Our is wrong or perhaps?
Still a nice little ditty of verse.

[krivka72]

Really nice poem... you're seems like talking abt me hehe.. umm do u hv a LINE id? I'd like chat with another person.. add me.. meenome7

[Hazy Sights]

Interesting piece. I find that it could be more powerful if you ended each sentence with a word you'd like to emphasize on. For example, line two could end with "rise". Or the second last line could end with the word "serenity" instead of "the". By doing so, this gives more power and focus on that one word rather it being included at the beginning of a new line.

[Rene Salinas]

The moment of shdowy embrace, I love that part of the day. But suddenly your writing changes as this is not the central theme but instinct. Instinct is what most of us do have closest to the animalistic. Not a lot of imaginative thinking as it is not a matter of concern for the here and now. Knowing does not mater either in survivalist terms. But then as if looking from the outside serenity of the woods medows.

Intriguing.

Thankyou

[phoenixfire]

animals have to die its the cycle when plants grow herbivores eat them and then predators eat the herbivores then the predators die and help the ground for more plants but to see it from the other side like this is great good job

[Wórdsmíth]

Nice imagery! Words`re full of thoughts!

[Hitchhiker]

Would that all living things we humans included) "only know of here and now." Yes, I understand that it might be tragic to take away our imagination, our dreams, and our ceaseless trek to find . . . Love. However, I have discovered in my travels that love has been the cause of more, much more, pain and suffering than anything on earth.

[Adreamer's Bluejay]

I really like this piece, it is a common theme and a common style but the way you chose to show your voice is quite unique. Great job.