All Alone

Working it into a song... I hope i can make it one someday

Here in the dark

I can't take

Remembering days

That have passed away

Out on my own

Fading away

That'd be the most

That my heart could take

Why did you leave 

Me behind

Thinking of you 

As I watch the sky

I can't move on

Not now

Memories of us

Tearing me down

Author's Note

Work in progress... Let me know what you think :)

Reviews

[viola]

I think this would work well as a song. I'd like more of an idea of how it would flow as a song though. Right now I don't know where to pause. (Here I am the punctuation police again). Also if you are thinking of making it a song--I would think about coming up with some type of chorus or refrain--it can even be one line, but something you can come back too. Finally, I'm confused by the 2nd stanza. Your first 2 lines go together and your last 2 lines go together, but I'm not sure how fit together as a stanza. The other stanzas hold together very well--just not that one.
As always nice poem.

[Insight "MH"]

It's hard to live on with memories that linger in your mind and heart of a beloved who left you one day for no reason. This was so sentimental, the emotions are lovely and true. Thank you for sharing.

Insight.

[Dead]

Lone Princess and Shadow Kissed told me to read this and I'm glad I did. You're really an amazing writer, great job.

[Hope Rose]

This is amazing and I feel it will make an amazing song someday. I hope you finish it so I can read the rest :)

[Shadowkai]

I hope so too and when I do finish it I'll record a video of me and my friend performing it for you to watch :)

[Hope Rose]

Oh wow, really? That would be great, really it would this will make a good song

[Shadowkai]

I'll let you know once we finish it :)

[Hope Rose]

Thanks I can't wait :)

[Rose Jaeger Kaneki]

Oh my lord. Me and my sister both nearly started crying when we read this, it moved us both that much!!!!!! It's amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Shadowkai]

Wow thank you so much, I can't wait to finish it and make it into a song xD

[Rose Jaeger Kaneki]

Your welcome, let me know when you make to a song, i like to read it!

[Lavorther]

This is really great. I think anyone can relate to it, be it through a loved one that has passed away or heartbreak. For me it was the first, as I lost my granddad a year ago. I usually keep my feelings locked away, and they rarely get out. This was one of those rare moments. Thank you for sharing such an emotional poem.

[Strawberry Evil]

I love it. It's as simple as that. I can relate as much that it almost made me cry. I lost a friend a year ago, and this reminded me of him in a way. Not that I know what this has behind it, death or just a failed love, but it still gave me that feeling... Also, again, I really like the style and way you write.
It's a really beautiful poem, full of love and longing, and despair. You wrote that it's a work in progress. But I think it needs anything more, in my eyes it is perfect the way it is now.
Great job!