Pain

I hurt too

Every word you say

Hurts me deep

You do not care

Even if I died here

You wouldn't even shed a tear

I cry 

You laugh

I fall

I bleed 

You break me

I'm far off the edge

You are to blame

I know no comfort

There is nothing left for me

Except for pain

Reviews

[Strawberry Evil]

(firstly sorry it took me so long to visit your page again)
I often find less words used to be more powerful, and that applies here too. There are strong emotions behind this, and I can feel and relate to them. And I bet many people out there can relate too, this kind of feeling can be in different events to each. I really really like the way you write, your style. It makes me read it over and over again, even when it sucks me to my own dark feelings from the past.
I know writing about these stuff make it better for a while, and I really hope this made the burden a bit easier for you.

[zunie frost]

It's fantastic...!!! Really great....words are very well chosen... Keep it up!!!

[Coyote Poetry]

A emotional ride in the words.
"I cry
You laugh
I fall
I bleed
You break me"
Many kind of people. Users and abusers will steal all they can and run. A strong ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Aphy!]

Easy to relate
Been/going through situations similar to this so I know how it feels
But it was the sadness I felt whilst reading it
Like you could read my thoughts
Thankx for sharing

Aphy

[William Gardner]

Very direct, good feelings in there to dump. I hope you felt better after writing it. If you wanted, you could do the first stanza different, your telling not showing in that one. How did he/she hurt you? A punch, push etc. how did it feel? Breath taken? Drawn in, can't breathe out? Bring us to the moment. Then the last two stanzas which are powerful get some juice. Also, I would take out the authors note, if you have to explain it, than you don't have it the poem- See what I mean? Thanks for the work.

[Shadowkai]

Though it is a bit longer, I hope it's better, I honestly never thought i would be a poet.

[viola]

Ow. That captures the pain of being bullied quite well. Short, simple, and powerful.
Keeping it short and simple, I don't think you need the "But" in line 2. Saying "You don't care" is more powerful than when it is diluted with "But."
It gets better in college, I promise. Then there are other writers, academics, philosophers, etc.

[Ghost]

I can relate to this poem. If you could I would love for you to come to my school and let all the bullies know they hurt people.. Your poem is the truth. It doesn't matter that it is depressing, and it is so meaningful.

[Shadowkai]

If you are in New York, then i can :)

[Beth Lindsay]

It is a painful poem to read, but it is really easy to relate to.

[Shadowkai]

Sorry, I was having a rough day,
Feel free to check out my others poems
They are much more inspirational

[Beth Lindsay]

Nothing to be sorry about. It means you got talent, even on a rough day.