Redemption

It means what you want, to whom you want

There was never anything for me to see

Only words I thought were fantasy

But, over the years I've come to realize

All words have a reality

As I write and draw from life's intricacy

I've come to feel what I could never see

I cursed the divine for struggle through this life

And wallowed in my misery

But, I was assisted through all that strife

Somehow turned pain to creativity

My dreams of death, unfulfilled

I cut for blood and death

My excoriating hands were stilled

and I continue to draw breath

I know in me was not the strength

These thoughts still bring me pain

Somehow my hands found restraint

Words and tears, not blood became the rain

The pain I've caused

The innocence lost

Both in me and around

Seem an insult to the life I've found

I turned, a stain on my soul

Became what I hated and grew so cold

Let chemicals and pain be my fuel

Used others' emotions as a tool

Abused spirits as mine had been done

Viewed every person as a battle to be won

Uncaring, unfeeling I lived my days

Diving through lives as the villain, I played

Forgive and forget the person you knew

Try to accept that THIS person is true

With open heart lead me to unreachable heights

With love restore my sight