Maddness mixed with sorrow

Days go on...
And so does the beat of my heart...
We can't hold onto the past...
We can't spend our lives waiting to live...
We know the price we pay...
"Don't worry" He told me before...
"I won't bother you" I said back...
But the way he looks at me with such sorrowful eyes...
The way I smile he knows is god damn well fake...
But there is nothing else I can do...
Learning to love and let go...
Is a big step in life...
I've taken that step so many times...
I've loved men...
And I loved women...
Learning how to let go is something...
I do everyday...
Believe it or not...
I had to let someone dear to me leave...
She had my heart and she knew it...
Yet she chose to not acknowledge it...
When she knew how much I loved her...
She still loved others...
So I gave up...
I gave her up to the others...
With a daring smile...
One that is so fake...
Anyone could tell...
Yet she doesn't know it at all...
She's just so goddamn stupid...
So blind...
To everyone else but me...
She may say she's my best friend forever...
Or sister...
But she can't even tell between my real smile and my fake...
My heart is black...
And ice cold because of her...
Everyone else pale in comparison...
But I finally...
Learned to let go and forget...
God how I loved her so much...
But it's over...
It's all over..
Just f*****g leave...
I'm through.