One day

I am falling out to sea.

I am falling into my home.

Death will consume me.

Cause I dont feel whole.

Please understand my pain.

I need to take a pill to make this life feel ok.

Even with the drugs affect I still feel sad.

Cause I can feel you around.

Making the air thick.

Making my thoughts swim.

How dare you invade my mind.

But who am I to say?

For I am the one that hides.

Through all this some how I feel alive.

Cause I am alive.

You take me as your prisoner in your own fun and games.

You take my heart, I let you, but now I want it back.

Cause I want to heal.

I want to feel.

Do the impossible.

Feel unstoppable.

One day I will just wait and see...

Author's Note

Pleas dont bad mouth my poem. And dont give it horrible comments. I dont mind the "You should do this to make it better..." Comments.

Reviews

[Jolyrose]

I liked the statement of the character's own needs and the lack thereof. The feeling of possession at someone else's whim, felt that too. The realization that you let them do it, but you want more. Felt that deeply. That the pain can't be dulled by the meds we take, because the cause is still there. That you can't get well with medicine if the disease never goes away. Well, that's what I got. And enjoyed.

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Huh, not bad. :) The best thing about this poem that definitely stands out is the fact that there's a hopeful tone in it: Hope does well. ^^

Although I have a feeling that this is a love poem, it sort of reminds me of those type of people who try to convert you to their own church... That's one little thought that makes this poem kind of scary. ;) lol! Good work! It's pretty... emotional!

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

[SoullessPrincess]

This very good. Very expressive. Welcome keep up the good work..

[Dawn]

Is a wonderful verse, full of life..
I have a few suggestions, look at the notes I added.
Welcome to writers cafe!!

[shinybluestars03]

Well all in all your poem was well written.
I enjoyed it all especially the last few lines
there is nothing better and more fullfilling than
to prove to yourself that you can do acheive
anything it doesnt matter what others think
as long as you feel great about whatever
it is that your trying to achieve.

Thanks for sharing
Best wishes