Tired And Done

My boyfriend keeps having anxiety attacks in the middle of the night when I am not there... I am just done being the cause of other's problems.

He screams out
Begging for me not to go
But I have no choice
the chains that pull me
I know the blood makes him cry
I know that me not being there
makes him die
but I have no choice
I can't be there
constantly
almost like babysitting
I am only with him
for fear of his death
I might be the cause of his suicide
sweet kill
He's told me his anxiety
how he sleeps not at night
one hour or two
doesn't matter
I want him to be better
but I don't know what to say
what a horrible girlfriend I am
like my other relationship
this one is falling to ribbons
instead of being strong like a blanket
Stitched together and can survive for years
only one relationship I was in that got me through
It wasn't this one
that is for sure...
Freakin out
I am the only one to get him through
but somehow I know
it was never meant to be
I want to let him go
but how...
How...
The tears they won't stop rolling
confusion won't stop coming...
Just stop...
Stop clinging
I don't need it
I need to be the one breaking
not the other way around
I am done being strong...
For once I want to be weak...

Reviews

[Muse]

Hmmm...does he have physical proof of these attacks? How do you know it's not just a creative guilt trip? So much conflict in this poem that I nearly tore in half from reading you. Excellent penning...but truly...honestly...I think you might be manipulated to believe that he cannot live without you. A slow suffocation.

[Shadow]

(Chuckles) Thank you so much for the review but sadly this is true in ways.. I started living with him and he is starting to get better... But the relationship between he and I isn't healthy so I might wind up breaking up with him soon