A Promise Made, A Promise Kept

My son's twenty-first birthday.

A sixteenth birthday is always a special event in Life. It is a �coming of age�. It is a stepping stone into the adult world. It is a doorway to new freedoms, new explorations.

Each birthday was so very special; each birthday represented another year of success; each birthday meant that there was more time, yet another year to face in hopes of reaching the next one. Of all those birthdays, the sixteenth was the most special because of a simple birthday wish.

His day had been spent with his a few of his friends and his brothers and sister at a local water park. The plan was for them all to return home between five and six for a cookout. Sunburned, tired and a little dehydrated but smiling he came home with everyone in tow. Three large glasses of water took care of the dehydration and he was ready to eat since he had missed his usual two afternoon meals. Knowing he would be hungry I had already begun cooking his favorite, grilled teriyaki chicken breasts.

Judging by what little food was left it was easy to conclude the entire meal had been a success. It was time for the �main event�, as he called it.

There was the chocolate on chocolate cake with the sixteen candles there on the table in front of him. Once the candles were light, everyone kidded and cajoled him to make his birthday wish. The candles were burning down as he grinned and then for a few seconds closed his eyes and was silent. Then taking as deep a breath as he could, he blew-out the candles, the laughter and kidding began. As usual there were the questions of what he had wished but he would only shake his head and refuse to answer. Each present opened and appreciated; each person thanked.

Not long afterwards the party began to break up. As each friend left he again thanked them. There were plans made, promises to call, etc. It had been a good day for him. It had been a good day for me just to see him happy.

Not long after the last friend had left he came out to the patio where I sat in the darkness relaxing. Sitting in the chair beside me he was silent for several minutes. Often we had sat just so, there in the darkness enjoying the quiet, enjoying the simple pleasure of one another�s company. It was these times there were many conversations of Life and events, of the future.

He broke the silence by asking if I wanted to know what his birthday wish had been. I thought I knew what his wish had been for it would have been my wish too. It was something that rarely left my mind yet he surprised me. To this day I can remember the sound of his voice, the words.

�When I turn 21, Stephen, Aaron, you and me are going out and party. We�re gonna take the �grouchy old b*****d� (he said this in his loving, sarcastic, teasing way) out and have some fun and you can buy me my first legal drink.� He went on to describe where he wanted to go and what all he wanted to do.

Listening all I could do was silently pray I would have that opportunity, the opportunity to celebrate that birthday as you wanted. I made you a promise that night. I promised that on your twenty first birthday we would go out and have that drink.

On August the seventh, 2007, you would have been twenty one. I could not get off from work so I had to delay until the next night when I was off. I did go downtown to Club Blue as you wanted. I went alone, alone because this was something between you and me. I went in and found a table where there was a good view. When the waitress came I ordered two Shiner Bochs, one for me and one for you. The one for you I placed in front of the empty chair on the other side of the table. I guess the waitress thought I was some crazy old man, first for being in a club filled with young people and second, for ordering two, not one beers. It didn�t matter to me.

I sat there listening to the thundering music, watching the people. There were many attractive young women and I wondered which one you would have chosen. I drank my beer and then yours, all the while thinking how you would have enjoyed this; how you would have been up mingling, dancing, I thought of how happy you would have been.

The waitress came back and I ordered another round. You know I didn�t drink much any more but I thought what the hell, it is your birthday and I was going to make it a good one. I continued just to sit and watch. I did get a few strange looks, particularly from some of the young women, probably thought I was some kind of pervert or something, but you know me, I could care less.

Just as I finished my second beer and was reaching for yours, I felt a bump against my chair from behind and then a sudden cold wetness pouring down my back. A young woman sitting at the table behind me had started to get up and spilled her drink all over my back. As I turned she began apologizing, embarrassed at what she had done.

The waitress came with a towel as she continued to apologize. I tried to assure her it was no big deal but she kept at it. I ordered two more Shiners and asked her if I could replace the drink she had spilled which at first she refused but after a second or two relented.

When the waitress returned and sat the out drinks on the little table I asked the young woman if she would sit for a few minutes. I am not sure what she thought, particularly when I place your Shiner across the table, but she did sit. Needless to say, it was a little difficult to talk with all the noise but we managed.

Her name was Marissa and a student at Baylor. A blonde with bright blue eyes, she was pretty and dressed rather conservatively considering this was a club, unlike the majority of women. She wore little if any makeup, but then she didn�t really need any. We talked rather she talked, for ten minutes or so about school and just things in general. Remembering you preferences, she would have been someone you would have liked very much.

Finally she hesitantly asked about the Shiners and the empty chair so I explained it was your twenty first birthday. Maybe it was coincidence and maybe she took pity on an old man, but the music changed to a slow song and she asked if I would dance. Perhaps I should not have but I did. It should have been you, not me, but it was nice. You would have enjoyed it.

The piece over, we went back to the table. I finished my Shiners and picked up yours. We talked a few more minutes and I decided six beers were more than enough for an old man. I mentioned that it was time for me to leave and she should get back to her friends. I thanked her for spending a little of her time with me and stood up to leave. She surprised me by giving me a hug as I said goodbye.

After she turned and headed toward the bar, I stood there another moment and downed the rest of your beer. I left and walked out of the club knowing that you would have enjoyed yourself, the club, the music, a few Shiners, and you would have enjoyed meeting Marissa.

It was not until I reached the car that the tears began. I just could not hold them back; I cried all the way home. I am sorry because I know how you never wanted anyone to cry for you.

I have kept my promise to you, Chris. We had our drinks; we went clubbing, and even met a very pleasant girl.

Happy Birthday, Son.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

This is one of the most beautiful stories I've ever read. Have to stop, choked up... ok

I had a feeling about the ending... so sad, so very sad.

How to comment about the writing? A perfect tale in every way: the flow, the phrases, what you did, what you thought, the girl... all of it added to a very complete piece of writing.

I'm going to read it again. Going to put it in my favourites.

Thank so much for sharing such a fine piece of writing, it has something special, inexplicable.

[Constance]

This is the first story I've ever read on this cafe that literally made me cry, not just figuratively. I've seen a lot in my life, so tears don't come easily anymore. But, to lose a child I think must be the hardest thing, and you shared both grief and joy here, joy in the love and bond you had with your child. You did an exceptional job of evoking both emotions in me. Thank you for sharing this beautifully sad story. I'm sorry that it's true.

[Sam Freeland]

your impressive story will help everyone who reads it, be better able to deal with any personal loss.
this is the kind of truth that lasts forever, for you and all who have enjoyed the connection to a
son, and then had to live on with their loss. you can believe his spirit goes about sharing his love
for you and waiting for you to join him. the tears I have shed were generated by this expression
of love...thank you for sharing your personal grief. sam

[Russell Rose]

Wow. What an emotional ride? If this is autobiographical, my heart goes out to you.

[Winter McPherson]

So precious....such a special piece for your son. You have such a way of capturing your sorrow and writing it so beautifully into something that touches everyone. Thanks for sharing something so close to your heart.

[Sydelle Houston]

What a heart grabber, my eyes welled up at the end. I can tell this was a labor of love.

[Ruby Moon]

it is always hard to lose someone close...
but i cant even begin to imagine the feeling of losing a child of yours...
someone you raise and brought up
thank you for sharing this personal moment with us here at writescafe

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This is simply about the brightest star..............the deepest love, catching the tears as they fall.

[Ron B]

This was a touching and moving story. Bravo.