My Doctor Visit ....Driving in Dallas

A story about a common malady that I originally thought was simply old age with just a touch of humor.

Over the course of the past five or six weeks I seem to have developed a painful problem with my right shoulder. At first I thought it was perhaps simply my getting old and worn but then as the pain persisted. It began to move further and further down my arm, to the elbow and beyond, all the way into my right hand. Any sudden upward movement results in shooting pain.

 

Finally, I made an appointment with my doctor, one I have known since she was a young teen. She is the daughter of my original doctor who retired not long ago and knows me very well, but that is entirely another story.  J

 

During that “visit” she explored each and every movement, poked and prodded, even had an X-ray done. After the lengthy exam and X-ray she came back into the room and sat down. It seems she could find nothing wrong but just to be certain she insisted on having an MRI done.

 

At the beginning of the next week I returned to learn the results. As we sat in her office she explained that there were no conclusive results. Then she began to ask some rather odd questions concerning my driving habits, the different routes that I took to and from work, even the time of day I did most of my driving. I was puzzled for I did not understand what any of this could possibly have to do with the problem.

 

Since I work third shift, the traffic is very limited. And during the day I drive very little if at all. It is in the early morning coming home when traffic is heavy and quite annoying. As I explained she began to slowly nod her head and a slow smile began to creep over her pretty face.

 

Now please understand driving in Dallas during rush hours is a maddening and at times a terrifying experience. The Dallasite driver is like no other anywhere in the world. When he/she gets behind the wheel of their vehicle all intelligence and sanity ceases to exist.

 

The yellow caution before the traffic light changes is not understood as a warning to slow down. Once that light changes to red…well, it is like waving a red flag at a mad bull. Gas pedal stomped hard to the floor they charge right on thru without concern of safety for themselves, nor that of others.

 

There is no regard whatsoever for how close behind they will follow. When one can look in his/her own rearview mirror and see “the whites of their eyes” behind, one knows they are so close three pages of the Dallas Morning news would not fit between the rear bumper and their front end.

 

But even worse is how poorly they plan their drive. When I learned to drive a car at thirteen, the first thing Uncle Ray taught me was to “plan your drive, drive your plan.” Know where you are going, know each and every direction and turn. Plan and drive so there are no sudden or last second changes.

 

On 635 which is the main interstate that circles the city the Dallasite driver will drive at 80 and above in the fastest inside lane hoping to beat all the rest of traffic to his/her next exit. Their vehicle becomes both the fastest fighter jet in the world and heavily armored tank. Then as the last hundred yards before it comes up they will suddenly, with no warning, dart, like a jack rabbit chased by an entire pack of hounds, across four lanes of traffic. They expect all the other fools doing exactly the same to just get out of their way.

 

Now the nod of her head became more vigorous and the smile grew to one of all knowing understanding.

 

“This is much like what is called ‘tennis elbow’. It is an oft repeated movement that causes the pain in your shoulder. The more often the move is made the pain spreads downward toward your hand.”

 

I sat there puzzled for I did not understand.

 

“It is the continual sudden violent thrusting of your arm upward, elbow bent and fist clenched so tightly that is causing all this pain” she said. “This is something I see a lot of with many patients.”

 

“So what is this and how can I stop it from hurting?”

 

“Well” she began “this is what I call ‘road-rage finger’, throwing your clenched fist and arm up giving the ‘one finger salute’ so often is causing the muscles in your shoulder to cramp. I suggest you find a less stressful route home.”

 

P.S.

 

For the past several weeks I have taken a less congested route home but unfortunately those idiots are everywhere and on occasion I forget and offer up the “salute” of saying “you are numero uno.”

 

 

Reviews

[Wildfleour]

How lovely - the funny side of you............but road rage? Tisk tisk. Put that finger down! :)

[Sam Freeland]

A beautifully facinating tale of truth and pain...since you will never be allowed to live life
your own way on 635, I know because I have been there, you may get to suffer with
your problem whenever you get into your car. Tailgaters, I hope your insurance rate
gets tripled...

[emmajoy]

Ohhhhhh laughing like mad! What a wonderful ending! I had a feeling the story wasn't going to finish too seriously but, certainly didn't expect that diagnosis. The actual putting down of your goings on was so well done too, flowed like a dream. Thank you for it all.

[Ruby Moon]

lol...
the last 2 paragragh caught me laughing...
hahaha... i needed a good laugh anyway

*cough lightly to bring the mood back to a slightly more serious one*
well... i guess these kind of drivers exist everywhere
*looks positively cheerful at the idea (since i dont drive)*
have a nice drive
*skips away with my laughter trailing back to where you are*

[[untitled]]

What can I say...........The best i can do to offer assistance to a friend it to tell you that hey, I handled it differently.......no finger, I used to [in my younger angrier days] chase people with my car. This was a very good story. You are a rather droll man aren't you?