Julian

Julian sat in the sand, staring at the desolate wasteland that he had begun to consider home. Nothing about it screamed habitable, but he had managed to scrounge up a life and make it work. Life had been destroyed, as far as he was concerned, and it was all he could do to stay sane. Just kill yourself already, his mind told him, using the voice of his little sister, who had gone missing during the first few months of the nuclear war that had taken place just a few years before. Life isn't worth it.

            Bolting to his feet, he yelled loudly, "SHUT UP!" Trembling, he quickly gathered up all his things and marched over to his dune bike, a large motorcycle with truck wheels. The bike had been given to him by his father when he turned eighteen, just before the bombings had started. They would spend hours during the day teaching him how to ride it, though he never did get his license to drive it. It had taken him a few weeks to tweak it enough to run in the wastelands that formed from the war, but now it glided over the sand with almost no resistance. With electricity no longer a resource he had regular access to, solar energy became his best friend. Not many people thought to use it during the beginning, but he had gone around collecting as many solar panels and other devices needed until he had come up with a large enough cache that he could run everything he needed to, including the bike. He started up the engine and pulled down his sunglasses to shield his eyes from the blowing sand.

            Running won't save you, she whispered in his ear as he blazed through the desert.

"I know," he said out loud. Her voice had become a constant companion to Julian when he finally realized he was all alone, it was the only comfort he could find. Sometimes the others would talk to him, but she was usually the only one.

Come stay with me, life will be better here. He knew that was true, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, he was far too scared. What if there wasn't anything after this life? It was a sobering question, one he often dwelt on.

            "No." Luckily for him, she fell silent and he spent the rest of his ride in blissful silence, heading toward the crumbling wreckage that used to be home to thousands but only held one now.

            The sun was already beginning to set when Julian finally reached his destination: a small basement beneath a large empty warehouse in the middle of his home town. It had been the place where he and his friends would get together to drink and smoke, now it only held old memories and despair.

            He walked to the edge of the room, set down a solar lamp, and turned it on. It flickered for a moment before blazing to life. Julian had left it and two others outside all day, so there was no doubt in his mind that he would have enough light for the night. Dropping his pack to the ground, he pulled out two gallons of water, a box of stale granola bars and an empty can of chili he had eaten during his search trip. The only thing he had managed to find were a few packages of ramen noodles and a single battery, but then again, he hadn’t really gone very far. He didn’t often explore the city, it was far too dangerous, so he usually went out to the smaller dwellings outside of the city limits and explored there; he knew that that would have to change soon; he was running out of places to look. Walking over to his stereo, Julian placed the battery inside, next to the other four he had found the last few months while searching and hit the play button. A smooth guitar began to play, followed by a high pitch voice, singing nonsense. "Smooth Country," by the Gorillaz was one of his favorite songs and it had been months since he had heard it, to him, this was better than any drink of alcohol he had ever had. "Oh sweet Jessie, how you would have loved this..."

A loud yowling noise brought Julian out of his trance, he had his music up very loud but the noise was still audible. It sounded like a Scavenger to him, which was strange because they were often quiet creatures unless they had been disturbed. When the nuclear war had started, nothing really happened, but then the radiation began to cause people to change. They lusted for the flesh of any living creature. At first, they had been able to control their urges, but it didn’t last long. Soon their hair began to fall out and their nails began to grow at excessive rates. Their skin turned grey and their irises changed to a bright yellow, like that of a cat. They became predators, preying on anything that was living and breathing. Others changed in different, superior ways that made them far more dangerous than a normal Scavenger, but they weren’t in such a large quantity. A small amount of people didn’t get affected by the radiation. Sadly, that didn’t save them from much; they were either killed by a Scavenger or blown to smithereens with the unfortunate luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Julian was positive that he was the only live person left in the city, so the Scavengers outburst could only mean only one thing, someone is here... 

Jumping to his feet, he pulled on his leather jacket and strapped on his belt. Slipping his glock into its holding place at his side and taking hold of his hunting knife, he made his way outside, eager to discover what the cause of the Scavengers anger had been.

            The air had cooled down significantly now that the sun was almost down and he pulled his glasses up onto the top of his messy blonde hair. His icy blue eyes scanned his surroundings, looking for anything moving. A Scavenger looted through a garbage can across the street, but didn't seem to notice him, so he knelt down and listened. Another yowl ripped through the air he turned his head towards the middle of the city, why would someone be over there? It had been months since he explored that part of the area, it had been too dangerous.

            Staying crouched low to the ground, he snuck past the Scavenger in the dumpster and made his way downtown. It took some time, but the second he was out of range of the mutant, he sprinted, making his way there as fast as possible. It didn't take very long for him to get there, it was only a few blocks, but by then, a hoard of Scavengers had beaten him there. Skidding to a halt, he jumped onto a car and crouched atop it, silently scanning the area. Hidden in a small, rusty car a few feet ahead of him was a young girl, maybe a few years younger than him. Terror blazed in her brown eyes and her dark hair was a bedraggled mess atop her head, she hadn't seemed to have noticed him just yet. S**t.

            Julian dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out a flare, one he had had on his person for ages in case something like this happened. Pulling the cap off, it sputtered for a few moments before flaring to life and he threw it about forty feet away. The Scavengers looked at it, and a few of them walked towards it, curious. That was all he had needed. Pulling out his pistol, he shot one in the leg, and another in the head, clearing a path to the passenger side door of the car. Throwing it open, the girl inside gave him an incredulous look and he shot her a wolfish grin, "Hey there, better come with me."

The girl followed without complaint, which shocked Julian quite a bit. He didn't think that she would be so willing to follow a complete stranger. It made things easier, of course, but it was still strange, a little resistance was to be expected. Taking hold of her left hand with his right, he raised his left and shot another Scavenger in the chest. It didn't kill it, only decapitating it momentarily, but that was all he needed. Pulling the brunette towards him, he ran back towards his hideaway. How come you helped her and not me? Jessie picked a rather unfortunate time to mess with Julian's head, but he couldn't stop her.

"Quiet," he whispered almost indistinctly under his breath.

I thought you loved me.

Shaking his head, Julian continued to run, thinking rapidly about what to do. The plan was simple: outrun them. They weren't very intelligent creatures and rarely followed something that didn't submit to them easily. Of course, these were the doctile ones, if they had encountered a Creep or any other mutants, they'd be in some deep trouble. Luckily, Julian had scoured the entire town, top to bottom, except the subway station. He could hear the cries and anguish and distress, clearly signaling what was down there and he stayed far away from it. Other than that one place, he hadn't found a single breed of mutant other than Scavengers.

His warehouse appeared before him and he shoved open the large metal doors. Pushing the girl inside, he pulled it shut behind them, locking it shut. You failed me.

"Hush!" he whispered again. There were no lights inside, so he took ahold of the girl's hand again and led her to his basement room, where his lantern was still lit. Turning around to face her, he flashed her another wicked grin, "Now wasn't that an adventure?"

            “S-sure,” came her answer, quiet and unsure, and she shook her head at him, confused by his enthused expression, “It was...great?”

            After all the excitement died down and both he and the girl he just rescued were now safe from danger, Julian realized how beautiful she was. Being alone for long periods of time did things to a person, but suddenly being thrust into the company of another, and one so beautiful? That could do some damage.

            Spinning away quickly, Julian walked over to the farthest corner of the room and slid open a wall, revealing a large storage of items. Boxes of food were stacked up to the ceiling and there was a weapon rack on the far back wall. Heading towards that, he placed his glock on the only empty space and walked back out, sliding it closed behind him. He had spent months stockpiling that room during the times of the war, and was he ever glad. If he had waited to do that after everything got thrown into chaos, he would be in a very dire situation.

            Turning to look at the girl once more, he ran his left hand through his platinum blonde hair; he leveled his cool blue eyes with hers and asked, "So what is your name?"

            “Oh! I’m, uh, it’s Ashlynn! My name’s Ashlynn,” she threw a grin at him to hide the faint blush creeping up her face. Clearing her throat, she asked, “What about yours?”

            Ashlynn... "A pretty name for a pretty girl," he jested, winking at her. Picking up a bottle of water off of the table next to him, he tossed it to her. After running all the way here, she was sure to be parched. "I'm Julian, nice to meet you," he replied, holding out his hand.

            Her brown eyes were captivating and he felt his own being drawn to them constantly. "So how did you find yourself all the way out here?" he asked quietly, his curiosity getting the best of him. He was never good at social confrontation, but he knew that he better learn sooner or later.

Ashlynn nearly scoffed at his comment about her name, her resilience made him smile. "Thank you, Julian," she said politely as she took his left hand in her right and gave it a small shake. She pulled her hand away and shrugged at his question. "Wandering, ravaging. No real purpose in mind," she told him, looking around the room and finding a clear spot to sit up against the wall, pulled her hair to one side, over her shoulder, and sighed. "What about you?" she asked him, "Seems like you've been here awhile."

            The second Ashlynn leaned against the wall; Julian realized just how tired she truly was. Walking over to her, he pushed open yet another wall and revealed a room slightly larger than the storage room. This one had a couch and a bed inside. Nothing else. "I've lived here all my life, or at least, the important parts of it. Moved here when I was ten years old and been here ever since."

            Gesturing for her to follow, he went into the room and sat on the couch. "I can tell you're rather exhausted, you can sleep on the bed if you'd like," he offered kindly, well aware of the manners his mother taught him, even if she'd been dead for two years. "Don't mind me, I don't bite."

She hastily stood up, shaking her head and hands back and forth to indicate a 'no'. "I can't take your bed!" she told him as she entered the room, shooting a longing glance at the piece of furniture. "You were kind enough to save me and bring me here; you don't have to give me your bed too. I can sleep on the couch."

The girl's sudden over-kindness was a clear sign that he had made her uncomfortable. "Now, now! Hey there, just because it's my home, doesn't mean I can't be courteous!" he laughed. "The bed is yours," throwing her a sly smile, he spread out on the couch, leaving absolutely no room for her, and he knew she didn't have the courage to move him.

Ashlynn looked at Julian, stretched out on the couch with a winning smirk on his face, and finally relented. "O-Okay. Thank you," she muttered, genuinely grateful. Julian could tell she really wanted to lie on the bed as soon as she'd seen it. A moment later she was in the bed, on her side, with the covers pulled up to her chin and a small smile on her face.

            The couch wasn't the most comfortable thing on earth, but it definitely beat lying on the floor. Julian watched Ashlynn slip into unconsciousness with partially closed eyes, a smile on his face all the while. It had been ages since he had had company over for the night and it was nicer than he had expected.

            Closing his eyes fully, Julian began to think about the day and how odd it had been. Finding two precious things in one day, granted one was more precious than the other. A battery and another person, of course the more precious one was the person. How lucky he had been today, but luck always seemed to run out.

Author's Note

Made the edits that have been brought to my attention so far!

Reviews

[TheMalady]

Hi! I just read the story. Wow. It sure is long. i just noticed that the beginning is long before getting to the interesting part, however, it is also necessary to tell the thoughts of the character. I like how you described the scenes and the actions of the characters well.

I just noticed about the tenses though. It's in the past tense, right? Though, in my case, I am also confused about this in my work so I would just write in the present tense. I just noticed it.

I also noticed these:

- '..."SHUT UP!" Trembling, he quickly gathered up with things and marched over to his dune bike, a large motorcycle with truck wheels. Should be '..."SHUT UP!" Trembling, he quickly gathered up (ALL) HIS things and marched over to his dune bike, a large motorcycle with truck wheels.

- '...It had been the place where him and his friends would get together to drink and smoke together, now it only held old memories and despair.' Should be '...It had been the place where HE and his friends would get together to drink and smoke together, now it only held old memories and despair.'


- '...She hastily stood up, shaking her head and hands back and forth to indicate a 'no'. "I can't take your bed!" she told him, entering the room and looking longingly at the piece of furniture.' About the LOOKING, it's rather a bit off. Well, that is just for me. '...She hastily stood up, shaking her head and hands back and forth to indicate a 'no'. "I can't take your bed!" she told him, entering the room and look longingly at the piece of furniture.

I just voiced out what I had read so far. This just in my own opinion. However, the choices are still yours. You're doing great! :)

[Obscured by the Shadows]

Thank you so much, your criticism is much appreciated, and as always, I shall put it in as necessary to my own style! I am so happy that you reviewed my writing, every comment will help me.

[TheMalady]

You're very welcome, though I can only find minute flaws, hopefully it will also help you. However, you're really great! :)

[Obscured by the Shadows]

I managed to edit all these flaws, I hope it reads better.

[TheMalady]

It's better:) Anyway, editing is forever. We always improve our work as days move on so better read it every day, just a quote from someone I knew. Anyway, this is great that you have done some corrections. Our eyes tend to misjudged info, as well as our mind. :)

[Obscured by the Shadows]

That is truer than true.

[McBear]

This needs to be i'ts own paragraph (self thoughts / dialogue)

"Just kill yourself already, his mind told him, using the voice of his little sister, who had died from radiation poisoning during the first few months of the nuclear war that had taken place just a few years before. Life isn't worth it. "

For this paragraph I think you need to explain how he got on the motorcycle because A. it is a big bike B.The wind is blowing in his face and C. It is kinda important to detail.

"It had taken him a few weeks to tweak it enough to run, but now it glided over the sand with almost no resistance. He started up the engine and pulled down his sunglasses to shield his eyes from the blowing sand."

Another thing is that you NEED to do separate paragraphs for the rest of your dialogue and characters thoughts.

As for the colored text; I think it is interesting and provides a "feel" ya know?

Well, hope I helped. :)

[Obscured by the Shadows]

The separation of the "dialogue" between him and his sister is sketchy because he is, in reality, talking to himself. Of course, I will probably separate it anyways.

Thank you for the review, any and all criticism is a good thing in my book and I shall apply changes accordingly! Thank you.

[McBear]

:) I am glad I could help!

[Obscured by the Shadows]

I edited it, I hope it reads better, haha.

[McBear]

It reads a lot better :) I am not going to bug you anymore over it lol

[Obscured by the Shadows]

Thanks, haha. If there is still mistakes though, let me know!

[McBear]

Well, with a quick skim over this is what I found: Where this starts needs to be its own paragraph
"Jumping to his feet, he pulled on his leather jacket and strapped on his belt. Slipping his glock into its holding place at his side and taking hold of his hunting knife, he made his way outside, eager to discover what the cause of the Scavengers anger had been."

[Obscured by the Shadows]

Alrighty, Ill do that XD