Chapter 2: A Father's Tale

Alexis walks into the house after another hard day of work at Baremann's and drops down into one of the chairs. She was beginning to worry. Her father was supposed to have gotten home late last night, but not only has he not returned yet, but he hadn't contacted them since the first night after he left, which was completely out of character for him. She hopes it's simply because he was working hard and that traffic is just bad; the weather had been fairly nasty yesterday; but she doesn't have a good feeling about it.

 

Suddenly, she hears the door slam open and she turns toward it. Standing there in the doorway was Arthur, looking tired, ragged, and somewhat frightened.  He had dark circles under his eyes, he seems to have more grey hairs than he had before, and he was shaking uncontrollably. She gasps and rushes toward him.

"DADDY!"

 

At Alexis' distressed cry, the rest of the family rush out to the scene. Tanya gasps and dashes over to her husband, who looks as if he might collapse at any second. She helps her daughter lead Arthur to couch and lay him down on it. She sits down as well and sits his head on her lap, worriedly running her hands through his thinning hair. Their children surround them, and even Veronica looks concerned. Everyone looks to Arthur, wanting to know what happened, but none of them can bring themselves to ask. Finally Zach gulps and speaks, his voice shaking slightly.

 

"Dad?" His father looks toward him and he gulps again. "W-what happened to you?" Arthur sighs and grabs his wife's hand, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb across it.

"I really don't want to talk about it, but I don't really have much a choice in the matter."

 

"Wha-" He raises his free hand to stop his son and takes a deep, shaky breath.

 

"Give me a moment and I'll explain everything." He rubs his head, trying to gather his thoughts. "Now, I'll let you know that a fair part of this story may seem hard to believe, but it is all true, you have to believe me. I think it's best that I start at the beginning...”

#

"I made it to my meetings perfectly fine. However, things didn't quite go as I had been hoping. They were going well, don't get me wrong, but things definitely could have gone better. We eventually came to an agreement, but I knew it would take a little while for the money to come in from this. I did receive a little bit of money, but it was just enough to pay off all our debts. So, I was feeling rather down as I began to drive since I wasn't able to get anything you all wanted. And then came that horrible storm. It caused a horrible back up on the freeway. So I decided to try taking another way home. But thanks to the storm and that unreliable old GPS I borrowed, I became lost. Then that stupid car decided to break down on me. So I was stuck on some stupid back road in the middle of a storm, and to top it all off, I had no service, so I couldn't call for help. Then lightning flashed and I noticed this rather large old-looking building; like a mansion; surrounded by a wall with an immense gate.

 

In hindsight, I really shouldn't have, but there appeared to be lights on, the gate was open, and I guess I was just so frustrated at the entire situation that I walked up the path to the mansion, hoping to get some help. As soon as I reached the door it opened wide, surprising the heck out of me. I peered inside and called out, but no one answered. I stepped inside, intending to call out again just incase they just didn't hear me, and the door just slammed shut behind me. By this point, I was beyond spooked. I was wringing my hands and looking around, trying to find someone. I noticed an open door and I cautiously peered into the room. It was a decent sized dining room with a table full of food that smelled just wonderful. I hadn't eaten all day, so I could help myself; I walked in to get a better look. There was just one place set-up for someone, with a note folded up on the plate. My curiosity got the better of me and I read it. This is what it said:

 

'Dear Guest,

We are sorry to inform you that we do not have a telephone for you to call for some assistance, but do not worry. You can stay here for the night and in the morning your car should start back up fine, although you should probably get it checked out when you get the chance. Help yourself to the food and anything else you can find within the building. Take whatever you need or want with you when you leave. You may also go out and check out the gardens, but heed by the rules. You are not allowed to touch or damage anything in the garden. And you are never, under any circumstances, allowed to pick anything. Breaking the rules will result in VERY severe punishment.

We sincerely hope that you enjoy your stay.

(P.S: There is no need to thank us. I you really want to, though, just leave a note on the table in the morning.)

 

That really should have set off some alarm bells, but I was just so shocked and grateful, I didn't think too much of it. I ate some of the food; which was admittedly delicious; and decided to search the place. I was amazed. I found everything that you had asked for! Zach's games, Ronnie's clothes your mother's jewelry: everything! Everything, that is, except your rose, Lexa. I was slightly disappointed at that. I couldn't even find a fake one. But anyway, I gathered all of the stuff in the hall in front of the door, went into one of the rooms, fell on a bed and went straight to sleep.

The storm had ended by the time morning rolled around. I walked into the dining room and found more food on the table. There was also a piece of paper and a pen. I ate a little bit of the food as I wrote out a letter expressing my gratitude at my unseen hosts' hospitality. I decided to check out the gardens before I left; they had invited me to, after all.

 

I really wish I hadn't. I'm not even very found of gardens. I should have ignored the gardens and left. I really should have. Anyway, back to the story...

 

I went out and walked through the gardens. It was absolutely beautiful; and this is from a guy who doesn't particularly like plants. It was filled with flowers of all different sorts. Lilacs, daisies; there even seemed to be a few flowering trees. Then I walked through an open gate, and the flowers on the other side seemed even more vibrant and lively than the rest. And then I saw them. The roses. An entire row of large rose bushes sitting just in front of a tall hedge wall. There was a large variety of colors and sizes; including one full of large, red roses, most of them in full bloom. I went over to them to get a better look. I reached out my hand to pick one, but then I remembered the note: '...you are never, under any circumstances, allowed to pick anything.' I should have stuck to the rules and heeded the warning, but I figured that they really wouldn't miss just one rose. And besides, everyone else was getting what they wanted, so Lexa should as well. And it was the only thing she had asked for. So I picked one, just one, of the roses. I really wish I hadn't.

 

Suddenly, something wrapped tightly around my arms and pulled me roughly to ground. What ever it was, it held me down tight; I couldn't move an inch. Then I heard...something growl from over in a dark corner of the garden.

 

'Figures that you wouldn't be listen to the rules.' I glanced over toward the direction of the voice. I could see the one who had spoken, but it had a vaguely human shape. But I couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't human. Maybe it was its eyes; the only part of it I could see clearly. They were purple...and I swear they were glowing! I tried to explain myself, but it cut me off.

 

'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU"VE JUST DONE? DID YOU THINK THOSE RULES WERE IN PLACE FOR NO REASON? I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR RIDICULOUS EXPLANATIONS! YOU DIDN'T LISTEN AND NOW YOU ARE GOING TO RECEIVE YOUR PUNISHMENT!' After its rant, it raised its hand about to...do something...but then it stops. It tilts its head as if it was listening to something and its eyes narrowed. It sighed and muttered something; it sounded like 'You have got to be f*****g kidding me.' Then it suddenly turned back to me and narrowed its eyes even more. It waved its hand and I was brought back to my feet, but I still couldn't move. Then it spoke to me in a low and angry voice.

 

'Although I have no idea why, you are getting a chance to save yourself. You are to leave here and go straight home to your family. Tell them everything that happened here. Everything. Now, if one of your family members decides to take your place within a week, they are to come here at the end of the week and they will stay and work here for the rest of their lives. If no one does, then you will die a horribly painful death at my hands at the week's end. If a family member takes your place, then they must come, regardless of whether you want them to or not. You are not to try dissuading them for it. If you do not do any of this, you and your family will suffer. Do I make myself clear?' I nodded, scared out of my wits. Then suddenly, my arms are released and I'm pushed back. 'Then go!'

I ran out to the car as fast as my legs would carry me. I jumped into the car and sped off, barely noticing that the car started without a problem and that the items I had set in the hallway were now in the car. Then I came straight here, not getting lost once.

 

#

 

Arthur looks at the wide-eyed expressions with a grim and tired face. Then Veronica crosses her arms and glares at him.

 

"Do you really expect us to believe that load of shi-" She cuts herself off when her father rolls down his sleeve and reveals the red marks that wound up the length of his arm. He sighs as he fixes his sleeve.

 

"I know my story seems outlandish, but I swear to you that it is all true." And as unbelievable as his story is, they could see in his eyes that this wasn't just some tall tale. He didn't embellish a single thing, he didn't add false details, and he certainly didn't make it up. 

 

The family just sat there in silence for a few minute. Alexis suddenly gets a determined look on her face.

 

"I'll do it." This brings everyone back to their senses as they stare at her. Her father sits himself up on his elbows.

 

"What do mean Lexa?"

 

"I'll take your place."

 

At this, Arthur shoots up in a full sitting position, eyes wide. He begins to argue.

 

"But, Lexa-"

 

"No buts Daddy. You said yourself that you aren't allowed to try dissuading someone who is willing to take your place." She looks him straight in the eye, her face set in grim determination. Nothing was going to change her mind. "Someone taking your place is the best option we have. They'll have to stay at this place for the rest of their lives, true, but they'll live. You however, would die. And I'm not about to let that happen if I can do something about it." Her face softens. "Besides, it's partially my fault anyway." She glares at her father as he tries to argue. "And don't you dare try to say it's not! If I hadn't asked for that damn rose, then you would have even thought about touching anything in that freaking garden! I'm going, and that's final!"

 

Arthur looks at the determined look on his eldest daughter's face and sighs. He knows that it's hopeless trying to change her mind. Once she sets on something, nothing can stop her. There is nothing he can do, and it's killing him. He goes over to Alexis and hugs her. Then he begins to cry.

Author's Note

Rough First Draft. Thoughts, suggestions, opinions, etc. are appreciated.

Reviews

[DarkCrono15]

Very interesting chapter, I like the supernatural twist this story took! It'll be interesting to see what happens to Lexa, how she'll deal with this tragic fate or how she'll try to get out of it.

This, again, was very well written but I have a few thoughts, and I'll let you decide if they're good ones.

First of all, and this is very small (but that's the sign of a good piece, when we start knitpicking you right?) I'd love a more vivid description of this horrifying creature you told about in the garden. Also, this may just be me, but I can't picture a plant creature say something like "You got to be f*****g kidding me?" That's very human and kind of slang...you could have come up with a more colorful statement of disbelief, I think.

Secondly, I'd love to see you develop more the conflict of your characters and the main one having to resign to her fate. For example, someone some point (in this chapter or the next chapter), I would think would want to suggest the idea "Why don't we just run away?" That probably isn't a SMART option, but I as a reader, want to know why? Also, guilt from the Father and from Lexa in this story could be a big draw for our emotions as the story develops. No overkill, but don't progress the plot so fast that we miss out on what the main characters are feeling =)

Finally, grammatically be mindful of whether you are writing this in past or present. Often 3rd person novels use past tense a lot. I notice you use both present and past when describing events as the story unfolds...I'm not really a grammarian but that may be a little thing you could change (I really don't know though haha.)

With your skillful writing I know this piece will continue to be fantastic. These are just thoughts I had, but overall I thought this piece is great. Keep it up, I'm adding it to my library!

[Shadow]

I'm waiting to describe the "creature" until Alexis meets him. As for his manner of speaking, I'm doing it on purpose, because at times he will act very human and I'm currently thinking that he picked up his manner of speaking elsewhere. I do plan on eventually explaining it. It was also the only thing that I could think of at the time that really fit the personality of the character. Some things I also threw in there as sort of placeholders until I could figure out what I really want said.

I'm a little wary to do too much development with the family, because after the next chapter none of them really show up again, at least in this book. The story is meant to be about Alexis' growth and her finding out who she is meant to be. Good point about the run away thing, though. I didn't think of that. Thanks.

I'm trying to keep the story present tense, but I ocassionally mess up. The only part so far that should be written in past tense is the father's story because it's a flashback and he is actually telling the story. So if you could point any other points where I slip into past tense, that would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for going through and reviewing my chapters! I'm glad you like it.

[DarkCrono15]

No problem! I am happy to help in any way I can.

Here are a couple of spots that I noticed, I'm no grammar guy so it may be nothing...

"And as unbelievable as his story is, the look in his eyes showed this wasn't just some tall tale. " - Shouldn't his eyes "show" instead of showed, if they are currently looking at him?

Also

"He knows that it's hopeless trying to change her mind. Once she's set on something, nothing can stop her." - Should it be "Once she set(s) her mind on something..."

[Shadow]

Thanks