The Past Is The Smoke That Billows From Your Cigarettes

My faith enormous,
My love tumultuous.
"What the hell came into us?"
You might be askin' yourself,
"Why me,
Why us,
Why now,
Why there,
Why this and that?"
But who are you asking?
If you ask me, here is my answer:

"Five years of sneaking about,
Five years of cascading doubt,
Five years of drugs and cigs,
Five years of hanging around pigs.
Five years of rebellion and fights,
Five years of drunken nights!"

But you aren't asking me, are you?
No, how could you?
I know more than you want to think
And I have seen more than you want to know.
Drugs and sex and alcohol snatched you,
A little twig in the roaring rapids of pain,
Tossing and turning with the current,
Unable to save yourself from the waterfall ahead,
away from me, a twig that has found shelter from the river.
Only if you could have found that shelter too.

Sorry for getting you in trouble,
You did not deserve it.
Sorry for hitting you,
You did not deserve it.
Sorry for all the childish fights,
The ones over Barbies,
Over that treasure chest
(the one with fake gold and a crown inside
We almost killed each other to get a old of),
Over grandma,
Over that one chair next to hers,
And over who got which end of the bed we had to share.

Today, it feels like rock bottom.
For me,
For you,
For us.
No, there is no longer an us,
No, there has not been for a while.
But why can't there be?
For you, for me,
For both.

Save me, I will save you.
Be the rain to my garden,
The stars to my sky,
The one who refuses
To wave good-bye.
Save me, I will save you.
I promise,
I promise to keep that promise,
I promise to be unlike everyone else.
I promise to love you.
That promise, I can keep.
I always have,
Still do,
And always will,
(no matter how much hurt you caused me)
Love you.