To: My Ten Year Old Self

In Middle school, I went through some stuff and I really wish I knew then what I knew now.

You cannot possibly know,

You cannot possibly have lived

Long enough to realize tomorrow

Will bring all the answers.

You don't have to cry,

You just have to try

To pick yourself up again.

You will make it through,

You will be better soon.

Everyone has left you?

Are you all alone?

No one seems to care?

Life is not fair,

And never will be.

Do not mar your skin,

Do not give up now.

Do not make yourself thin

Or bleed out your sorrow;

Hold on another day,

Put down the knife and pray

That help comes.

It will come, believe me.

So hold on, little one.

I know you cannot see

the beauty that you are,

But I look back now

And can only think “Wow.

How could I do that?”

Don't snip your hair,

Don't snip your arms,

People actually care.

Don't poke your back,

With a needle and pin;

Your desire to live will always win.

Your love of life, will shine through.

The deeper you cut,

The deeper I hurt.

Now I have scars, but

Without them, you, I would not love.

Know euphoric pain,

Know Terrible love,

Know that it will all end with a blessing,

One greater than you can dare to imagine.

Author's Note

Note: I realize that ten year olds are not typically called "little ones," but my grandma called everyone other cousin that except me, so I just wanted to be called something like that when I was ten instead of just being called by my name.

Reviews

[Mimi Evans]

Wow, that was beautiful. I wasn't personally involved with cutting, but I was in a pretty deep depression in middle school too- headaches, flaring temper- beyond normal teenage-angst stuff. I'm glad that I had the will to keep moving and you did too, because as I learned- when you're at your darkest, it can only get better from there!