A Dark Trail

This is a dramatic monologue that I may add to a play.

You’re right Sean. This place is hell, always has been, and always will be. But just because we’re in it doesn’t mean we have to be a part of it. I lived exactly like you except on a lower darker level. I arrived here at the young, innocent age of seven and being so young, I didn’t know where I now was living. Through the years till now, I never had any true friends and I was a target by all the more “superior” people. For eight long years I had compressed my anger and finally I reached a point where no more hate could be held in. One day I went home and relieved my anger in pain that spread across my arms and then crept to my chest and infused in my mind. Thoughts completely unimaginable plagued me and with the thoughts implanted in, they took form in words on paper and memories in nightmares. All the darkness radiated from be and stained anyone around me. Everyone could feel it and everyone was terrified. I was completely alone. On a foggy dismal day someone decided to pull the last straw. His name was Zack Carter. Never before have I met such a corrupted, stuck up, sickening coward. He made my life feel and seem worthless and when something is worthless you want to dispose of it. I left with only a few words to my new enemy and started to head home. I went into my room and locked the door like I was sealing my own tomb. The knife that had ventilated my anger, sadness, and loneliness was now pointing at my destroyed heart. The knife itself looked inviting and friendly, as if it was a friend that I had never known. The tip began to penetrate my skin and start its destination towards my lifeline. Then, as if a different person was in control of my actions, I threw the knife to the ground. The knife, which had looked comforting and pleasant, had taken on the image of a frightening and evil creature, begging for my blood and my life. Since then I promised to never consider something so selfish and damaging to my family and my future. My scars have become shame and must constantly remind me of my past self. You must not become that. You must not start on the dark trail I chose. On that path there is a short end and it doesn’t cease in happiness. Trust me, I know.

Author's Note

The character that is speaking is talking to someone who is considering suicide. The character that I have created was taken from both my experiences and a friend. If you see any misspellings or other errors please let me know.

Reviews

[Terrestrial.42]

Wow. What a heartrending message. The narrative feels really personal, as if the narrator's trying to say everything without thinking about it too much.

I might add paragraphing to structure the ideas a bit more, and there's a few small things I might change...

"the thoughts implanted in" could maybe be shortened to "those thoughts implanted,"

"Everyone could feel it and everyone was terrified."-- this is already a good sentence, but to make it even more poignant, I might put a dash or a colon in the middle, i.e.: Everyone could feel it -- everyone was terrified.

There's a few places I would add commas, especially when you have two adjectives describing one thing, such as "lower, darker level".

These are all just suggestions, though, go with what you feel works best.

As for the content, that is some heavy stuff. I can't imagine going through anything so difficult; it's good to share with those who might. Thanks for posting this.