DOUBT

 

Why do you shed these tears of doubt?

Why do you often grieve?

What makes you doubt the love we have,

Why do you not believe?

 

For is this thread of love so weak,

That it can easily break?

You strike my heart with words of doubt,

How more can my heart take?

 

When trust is gone what else is left?

For love is based on trust.

Don’t let this mountain crumble down,

Don’t let it turn to dust.

Reviews

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

"Don't let this mountain crumble down,
Don't let it turn to dust." Great line!

Th whole poem was heartfelt and enjoyable to read!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Cyprian, I am glad you enjoyed the poem

[stargirl23]

Great write, I loved it!!

[Shabeeh Haider]

I am glad you like it Adi. Thank you for reading.

[Amber Lily]

Trust is everything. In every type of relationship trust is necessary to make it work. However, self-doubt will get us down as well, stay positive! Great work :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

Amber, thank you for your review. Self doubt will definitely get us down.

[Gee]

And without trust bang goes all hope of a relationship that will not be flawed.Well written

[Shabeeh Haider]

Yes, Gee. You are right. Thank you for stopping by.

[Anindita Janhabee]

Sir, I am just taken away by this piece of yours not only because it's much relatable to me, but also because it has an essential element called trust. "trust is like a paper, once folded, can't be plain again..."
Doubts often make us break and cry..but wise person never breaks down for doubts. It's better to share all the doubts with the other rather than shedding tears alone. But if doubts haunt more, it's better to break the relationship because more doubts occur when trust fades.. .without trust, no relation should exist...
well penned sir...
Anindita : )

[Shabeeh Haider]

Anindita, I like your likening trust to a paper. Thank you for your wise and interesting input

[Anindita Janhabee]

Thanks and also welcome....

[barleygirl]

Even tho most of your reviewers are focused on the theme of trust, which I think is important, I'm taken by a different aspect of your message. What I'm hearing is the discordance between a person who can easily trust, but cannot understand why the other person cannot trust easily. The narrator clearly has never been smashed so hard & so often that trust just won't come anymore. The narrator seems to be taking it personally, like it's about the relationship between the two of them. But lots of times a person is so damaged & so distrusting, it's simply impossible to be what this narrator wants him/her to be. To me, this is so much more complex & multi-layered than simply a poem about trust.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Barleygirl. You have given a complete new dimension to this poem. It is worth more than a thought.

[Glen Weimann]

Pardon me for adding to your dialogue Shabeeh/Barleygirl, but when I saw Barleygirl's comment I realised how right she is. When I re-read it, there's almost an accusatory tone. Almost a power thing, and yes absolutely a broken soul whose faith and trust have possibly been abused too often. Completely missed it on first reading!

[barleygirl]

I always welcome anyone to join in & make it a discussion! (((HUGS)))

[Glen Weimann]

Shabeeh Hi. I'm with everyone else in endorsing the importance of trust. You are so right that it must underpin everything.

However, I'm going to disagree with Lydi, as I do have a few problems with meter. You have knowingly omitted linking words to try and sustain the meter (How -much- more can my heart take; What makes you doubt the love in -your- heart), and this jars for me. But despite this (for me) compromise, the rhythm still jars in V2 L2. All the other 11 lines are in one rhythm style apart from this one line.

So if you'll forgive the suggestions, here are the changes I might make to (a) maintain the rhythm, and (b) overcome the missing words, which I find jarring. Others may be (and evidently are) happy, so feel free to totally ignore!

V1 L3: What makes you doubt the love we have OR What makes you doubt your heart's true love
V2 L2: That easily we break OR can break OR may break
V2 L4: What more can my heart take

Hope these help. As I say, other folk are obviously totally comfortable with how you have done it, so maybe just regard this as a minority view!

Regards
Nigel

[Shabeeh Haider]

Nigel, thank you for your input. I have corrected V1 L2. I will assess the other lines and improve them as well.

[Akshita]

Wow! This is a pretty nice poem. It is about how it hurts to have your lover to not trust you, isn't it?

[Shabeeh Haider]

Yes, Akshita. That's what it is about

[Sami Khalil]

Submission of twain hearts in trust leaves no room for doubt and admission of twain mouths in clarity leaves no space for confusion. You have summed it up marvelously...:)...............

[Shabeeh Haider]

Sami, thank you for your kind review

[Lydia Shutter]

Indeed, the foundation of any lasting relationship has to be trust. Well written, Shabeeh. I liked the rhyming. Lydi**

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Lydia. I am pleased that you like it