A LONGING

I close my eyes and hide those dreams,

That will not see the light.

Why does it feel when I’m with you,

That everything is right.

 

Someone has given you his name,

We have to stay apart,

But when had you stretched out your soul,

And handed me your heart?

 

Your fragrance sweetens someone’s night,

Your smiles brighten their day.

And all I get are whispered words,

A thousand miles away.

 

How much I want you in my arms,

How many times I cry,

And though I breathe, I eat, I live,

How many times I die?

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Oh baby! I've been there! This might be my favorite of all your stuff that I've read lately. I absolutely LOVE the way you have stated this message in terms that are somewhat elusive & also apparent at the same time. Everything about the structure feels just right for the message, too. It reads well & oh-so-relatable. Life presents us with such unreasonable challenges, huh? (((HUGS)))

[Shabeeh Haider]

Oh Barleygirl. I can feel for you. Life goes on but the regret and the emptiness never goes away.read moreOh Barleygirl. I can feel for you. Life goes on but the regret and the emptiness never goes away.
{{HUGS}}.
Thank you for your review

[D Connolly]

This makes me think of FORBIDDEN love!! So much longing and hope and sadness and passion! All balled up into one great poem

[Shabeeh Haider]

Connolly, Thank you for stopping by and taking time to read this poem.

[Valentine]

This is really a good write. So much feeling and expression in your words.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you for such a generous review

[YanZeros]

This Owl can relate to every word you said above. :D very nice! Shabeeh Haider

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you very much Yan for your kind words

[Fahmida Mehreen]

The magic in your simplest expressions never fail to awe me. I read it, closed my eyes, and re-read it.

[Shabeeh Haider]

So kind of you. I can imagine you reading it with closed eyes. :)

[Anindita Janhabee]

Well sir, I get to say only one thing reading this ...
"You died,
I survived,
But surviving this way
I die everyday..........."

So nice poem penned by you right from the bottom of the heart and reaching to the readers'... so nice to read....
thanks for sharing!!!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Wonderful words from you. Thank you Anindita

[Anindita Janhabee]

Most welcome Sir..

[William Liston]

I love the descriptions in this piece. This is a simple poem, yet the words are truly capable of evoking a feeling of longing (as the title would suggest). I also enjoyed the contrast you created in this poem; there's a sense of beauty conveyed throughout, but there's also a feeling of yearning--which strongly emphasizes how it feels to be away from someone (or perhaps something) you love. On top of that, the flow is very nice. Good job on this poem.

- William Liston

[Shabeeh Haider]

William, thank you for your very kind words

[AliciaB]

Achingly beautiful. I love the thought you put into your romantic poems - they're not mushy clichés slapped together, but unique images with evident effort and feeling behind them. My favorite lines by far are "But when had you stretched out your soul, / And handed me your heart?" Beautiful connection of "soul" and "heart," which are almost synonyms, but not quite. That gives these lines a lovely parallel structure, especially with the verbs you used. The final stanza is also fantastic. Excellent work overall! You engaged my mind and tugged at my heartstrings with this one.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Alicia, I am glad that you could feel the pain behind these lines. Thank you for such a wonderful review.

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful, amazing words for the emotion of love.
"How much I want you in my arms,
How many times I cry,
And though I breathe, I eat, I live,
How many times I die?"
We will die often for the want of love. The above lines perfect and true. Thank you Shabeeh for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Shabeeh Haider]

Coyote, I am humbled and honored by your kind words.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my honor to read your work.

[Sapientiam]

This is so sad and beautiful... Wonderful writing. The longing for your loved one is nicely conveyed and it enhances the connectedness that you get from these emotions... Great work!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Sapientiam. Thank you for your kind words and nice to meet you here