SILENCE

Outside the room there was a loud and deafening storm.... Inside the room a storm was brewing…..but in silence.

The lightning and its clatter

 The raindrops and their chatter

The sound as the clouds rumble

 The noise as the winds grumble

 

 Locked gazes getting bold

 So many tales unfold

 All thoughts unsaid are heard

 No need for any word

 

 Steam rising from the tea

 As you sit facing me

So much is said in sips

No need for words from lips

Reviews

[AliciaB]

COOL! This is an awesome poem. First of all, you have executed the rhyme scheme very well - every rhyme sounds like it fits into the poem, with nothing forced and no disruptions of the rhythm of the lines. The "aabb" scheme also gives the whole piece a fast-paced, heart-pounding tone, adding to the intensity portrayed by the words themselves. I really like the reflection of the emotions within the room by the storm outside. My favorite lines are "So much is said in sips / No need for words from lips." The entire poem is vividly descriptive - I feel as if I am right there in the scene. You have done an excellent job of capturing these emotions in a short yet emotionally-charged piece. Great work!

[Shabeeh Haider]

I do try to fit every rhyme in such a way that it does not look as if it has been forced. Alicia, thank you for this detailed and beautiful review.

[AliciaB]

You are most welcome! Thank you!

[Arooj Purra]

Very nice and simple poem .

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you, Arooj

[Ananya]

Very nice. Simple and good. I hope you enjoyed the tea 😃

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Ananya. Yes I did enjoy the tea (:

[Sami Khalil]

Fitting and befitting from words to emotions to rhyming. Enjoyed seeing and feeling....:))))

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you for your kind words, Sami

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome. ....:)))

[Ruth]

I find that words can devalue such moments, I like to think feelings are more potent than words when the time permits. You set the scene well here, a most beautiful write :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

Poppy, feelings are indeed more potent than words. Thank you for your review

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

Oh....that is an amazing ending...very clever and witty. It reminded me of a couplet from one Hindi Ghazal sung by Mohammad Rafi- "Nazar mili bhi na thi aur unko dekh liya, zubaan khuli bhi na thi aur baat bhi kar li" (Even our eyes didn't meet but, I saw her, my tongue didn't move but, I talked with her)...apologies for the odd translation.
Coming back to your poem, the sounds in the first stanza impressed me a lot. The way you have set the scene and entwined it with affection and love is extremely nice. Lovely poem. Keep writing.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Vatsal, thank you for such kind words

[The Lost Poetry Files]

Silence, tension, unsaid words....captivating poem.

Well done :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you so much

[Annie Nicole]

I really like this! Great rhyming! nice job.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Annie,, thank you for your kind words

[Emily]

Love this!
Keep on writing!!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Emily, I am glad you liked it

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Very nice poem! Love the rhyming and choice of words! The poem was very fun to read! I can feel the power in the writing! :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

Cyprian, I am glad you enjoyed reading it

[Usman Muhammad]

A beautiful poem packed with tension..
First of all I would like to start with the introductory line of the poem..
" Outside the room there was a loud and deafening storm.... Inside the room a storm was brewing…..but in silence. "...This is some writing.
This line itself is a story...indicating everything which is yet to happen.
While reading the poem I had this feeling that I was in that room, hiding somewhere and observing everything. The best thing about this poem is the tense feeling you brought in the poem..the tension building between two characters is just speechless and such type of writing is rare and unique.
I have learned a lot from your writing, especially this one...and I owe you for that.
Well done, Sir.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Usman thank you for this beautiful review. I do not really think I am much of a teacher for I consider myself a student of poetry but I am glad if anyone has learned something from me.