UNFULFILLED DREAMS

They dug a hole deep in the ground and I was put inside,

With all my faults and all my sins, forever I will hide.

Somewhere a heart that feels my love, will want me to be near,

Sometimes those eyes that were my life will shed a silent tear.

Most people who pass by my grave; will never stop or pause,

They will not know, they will not care, I miss a life that was.

My skin and flesh will turn to dust, so will my heart and brain,

But somewhere deep down in the sand, unfulfilled dreams remain.

Author's Note

From my book: RIPPLES ON MY SOUL

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

It is the dreams that remain unfulfilled even unto death that cause angst to write of for while we are living we have hope, even if only a small bit, that our dreams will come true. To admit they are no more, that not any other will even notice them is indeed a sad thought. We must continue to believe in our dreams, to search for that person who will fulfill the longing within us, to find that for which we look......so sad when it is not found! Another ripple in your soul.....

[Shabeeh Haider]

So many dreams that one life time is not enough. Everyone who is no more in this world has died with so many dreams buried in his heart.
Thank you for your words.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"UNFULFILLED DREAMS"
Shabeeh haider,
This was a poem of mourning-a tribute to the tenuousness of life. When we are young we are so unaware of what is coming. One day adolescence and childhood have passed..adulthood with marriage and family. It's like a blink of our eyes. I use to hear from older people; "wait and see." Now I understand what they meant.
Blessings,
kathy

[Lydia Shutter]

Unfulfilled dreams...indeed. We all think we can do the things on our "bucket list" eventually....we think we have all the time in the world to get to them. Responsibilities and obligations take the forefront and we never quite get to those dreams. Then we are gone from this earth and all that is left are our grieving loved ones. A wake up call sort of write. Excellent rhyming throughout. Lydi**

[Shabeeh Haider]

One life is certainly not enough for all that we want to do. Thank you for your kind words

[-]

Powerful piece. the biggest regrets in life are unfulfilled dreams and you captured that perfectly with our your poem. Thanks for sharing. N.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you N

[GalaxyGhost]

Goodness, this poem is something I really relate to! We all have our dreams, wishes, and desires, but in the end we are gone and sometimes people don't appreciate someone til they're gone. Also, another meaning I found in this is that when people find out our secrets and faults, we become outcast and it's hypocritical as don't we all have faults?
Overall, I found this poem to be amazing and meaningful!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you for your very insightful review

[Ria Carol]

Its exquisitely written and beautifully enhanced with your words....amazing write:)

[Shabeeh Haider]

Ria, thank you for your kind words

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

You have a wonderful flow and rhyme in this! I have lingered here to read and reread, as so many thoughts go through my mind. It is strange, though accepted, that we will all die...when and where and how are the unknowns. When we go, our dreams, struggles, joys are left here like footprints. We can only hope that those footprints will be remembered, missed, and hopefully leave a bit of guidance and comfort to those left to journey on.

[Shabeeh Haider]

I am glad you enjoyed this poem Shimmerbliss and that it got you thinking. It would be wonderful if we will be remembered and missed

[barleygirl]

Your poem expresses something I believe many people feel . . . that their death would be an insignificant event soon forgotten. When I see senseless killing of many innocents around the world, I wonder about the unfulfilled dreams these people represent. Very thought-provoking message.

[Shabeeh Haider]

It is your compassionate heart that makes you feel the unfulfilled dreams of those who have lost their lives in senseless killings.
It is indeed very sad.
Thank you for your review

[Richard🖌]

Brilliant, Shabeeh!
Poignantly deep in meaning and imagery, you've certainly, skillfully touched upon something one day we all shall face … and such a lesson, My Friend, admonishing us to seek and fulfill as many of our dreams while we still have the chance; for, one day we no longer will.
Though, each line flows in perfect iambic heptameter, and Rhyming Couplets is among my favorite forms to compose in, yours seem to be a bit long for full impact and most readers' ease of enjoyment … like making a breath last a bit too long.
I know it is not my work, but it hit me that you might consider a Ballad count of 8/6/8/6, to gift this fine piece greater stature and a more pleasurable cadence (just thinking out loud here).

This line is the only place I felt the flow trip a wee bit:
"Most people will pass by my grave; they will not stop to pause,"
May I suggest?:
"Most people whom (or "who") pass by my grave, will never stop or pause,"

Either way, this is certainly an excellently-rendered poetic effort, Shabeeh, and I thank you most gratefully for sharing it with us.
Such a pleasure it is to read a truly accomplished artist … many blessings! ⁓ Richard

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Richard for your kind words and suggestions. Most of the poems that I have written have the count of 8/6/8/6 and a rhyme scheme of a,b,c,b. This was originally in this same pattern but something made me feel that making the lines as couplets would have a better impact considering the serious and sad imagery in the poem.
As for those lines that you have suggested: I find your lines much more pleasing than the original lines and will have them corrected.
Thank you for your suggestion.

[Richard🖌]

You are most welcome, Shabeeh.
I am glad to read and review for you, and I respect your opinion of this piece's format … after-all, it is yours, but I will still wish it were more appealingly presented, poetically speaking, and for the reasons given.

[Kuro]

Wow Shabeeh. Superb. Different from the few other poems of yours that I have read. I wanted to reread this several times and really absorb the beauty of the message and the prose. If it is not too much trouble can you explain to me the techniques if any used to create this particular poem? Is it free form or does it follow a chosen meter?
#Notapoet #Shabeeh #Poety

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Haider for your kind review.
This poem is not free verse and like all rhyming poetry it follows certain rules.
There are fourteen syllables in each line and each couplet, rhymes, ie it follows the rhyming pattern of a,a, b,b, c,c,
Each line has fourteen beats and is quite long so if you are viewing this poem from your mobile it will appear as two lines but when you see it from your laptop each 14 syllable line shows as one line.
Normally the poems that I write have four stanzas with a rhyme pattern of a,b,c,b
The first and third lines have 8 syllables and the rhyming lines (line 2 and 4) have six syllables.
This poem could be broken in to that form as well:
.
“They dug a hole deep in the ground, (8 syllables)
And I was put inside, (6 syllables)
With all my sins and all my faults, (8 syllables)
Forever I will hide.” (6 syllables)
.
I did not break it in to two lines but kept it as a single line. I hope this rhyming pattern is clear now.
Any query will be welcomed.

[Kuro]

Awesome. Thank you for giving me the breakdown.