Final Wishes

I have been a little inactive for like, 2 days now because of a camp. So, I'd like to say sorry about that and I would like to make up for it with this poem!

Note: Hello guys, like in the description, this poem is supposed to make up for my two days of inactivity.I guess I cant use the excuse of 'I'm too lonely, be my friend', anymore, but please do be 'friends' with me, the more the merrier, no? 

I stare out of the window,

On a cold summer’s night.

Trying to control my emotions,

But I know I’m losing the fight.

 

Ghosts come back and haunt me,

I feel like I’m trapped in a dream.

I hear my demons calling,

Oh, how real this all appears to seem.

 

I don’t know what day it is,

Or what month,

Or what year.

I don’t care when people visit me,

When they hug me,

Calling me ‘dear’.

 

I don’t know why they still come,

I’m a lost cause,

Why can’t they see?

I don’t know why they still acknowledge me,

It’s like time is on a pause,

But their visits aren't the key.

 

I only remember the pain,

And anguish,

And fears.

I only remember my arrogance,

My stupidity,

My tears.

 

I've cut myself again,

Hoping it wouldn't heal,

Eager for the pain,

For woes that seems most real.

 

There’s a poison in my blood,

I can feel it in my soul,

Tainted, as my heart is,

Hoping it would swallow me whole.

 

 

My demons are staring and watching,

All awaiting my return.

I've nothing left to lose,

I've ruined everything I've earned.

 

Death isn't so terrible,

The pain would fade away.

But I’m too much of a coward,

Finding excuses just to stay.

________________________________________________________________________________

 

I stare out of the window,

A burning winter’s night.

My heart’s impaled beyond description,

I've long-since lost the fight.

 

My mind's broken beyon repair, The ghosts wouldn't just leave,

I’m living in my nightmares.

My neck just waiting to be cleaved.

 

I know what day it is,

And what month,

And what year.

I care when people see me,

When they kiss me,

I’m even drinking beer!

 

I’m glad they came though,

My chances for recovery all but lost.

It’s good I've made peace,

I smile when they acknowledge me.

A smile that only they will see.

For after today no one will visit.

I’d wear the sweater they’d knit.

 

I’d no longer recall the pain,

The anger,

The fears,

I’d only remember my last moments,

The smiles,

My peers.

 

I dressed my wounds again,

And I chose my very best suit,

I would be joining you soon, my dear,

I’m no longer the mindless brute.

 

There’s still poison in my blood,

I can still feel it in my soul.

Poisoned, as my heart is,

About to swallow me whole.

 

My demons are smiling and laughing,

Readying hell for my return.

I've nothing left to lose,

I've ruined everything I've earned.

 

Death isn’t so terrible,

Having my woes all fade away.

I’m no longer that much of a coward,

Finding excuses not to stay.

Author's Note

Well, I tried to 'Mirror' the first part of the
poem but something doesn't seem quite right...

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"My demons are smiling and laughing,
Readying hell for my return.
I've nothing left to lose,
I've ruined everything I've earned.

Death isn’t so terrible,"

A splendid read and write. Thank you for sharing...:)...................

[Shogun]

Thanks! Your review is most appreciated.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).................