So here we stand at the end, The days grow colder, The final days slower, I wish they could stand, Still like this forever.
After all these years, The times we spent together, The good times, And the bad, I will always remember.
Those days we sat, Upon that beat up couch, Laughing away as the sun crept, Across that cold floor, Made warm by the memories, We all shared.
Though we are about to go, Our own ways, Separate, alone, In my heart I know we can't, Be away for too long, So as we watch the setting, Of the brightly glowing sun, I take a moment to reflect, On the end, Our final song.
Ugh, can't you make any happy poems? Lol, I'm an a*s, I know, but I digress. Whether or not your submitted "poems" are happy or not, they're all worthwhile or have been thus far actually. As for the specific point of this certain work, I felt sadly moved along with reminded of certain life experiences; mostly separations with friends which - yes - come along more often the older you get. It's soooo dramatic and stupid but... I feel you got it down here. Very nice work, Shadow.
Be away for to long, = 'too'
Besides that one little error, there's nothing wrong with this at all. It is a good poem, and very touching. Keep writing.
I really like the flow of this poem. However, I think the imagery could be improved by swapping out simple words for more descriptive ones? Just my opinion. Great job overall though!
Ugh, can't you make any happy poems? Lol, I'm an a*s, I know, but I digress. Whether or not your submitted "poems" are happy or not, they're all worthwhile or have been thus far actually. As for the specific point of this certain work, I felt sadly moved along with reminded of certain life experiences; mostly separations with friends which - yes - come along more often the older you get. It's soooo dramatic and stupid but... I feel you got it down here. Very nice work, Shadow.
Interesting and a very emotional poem, about how it was "once upon a time, when the birds sang and we couldn't feel a thing"...anyway great job, love the poem
I am 21 with red hair and aqua eyes.
I face life one picture, one word at a time.
Some call me odd, I prefer eccentric.
I have fought my demons and I have won.
I am known to have ADD.
I move forw.. more..