Cause n Effect

Drinking! First paper I turned into my college professor Comp 101-creative writing... over 10yrs ago.. I got a great score and she suggested counseling...

Here is My Affliction
A personal Addiction

When the Spirits take over
ceremonially Benediction
and the brew begins to pour
My brain wants some more
but my mind is rotting at the core
I become    ONE  Invincible
I loose control Unstoppable
With my Super power constrains are disabled

Now calm Sit Down
Everybody moves when I look round
so my body decides to touch the ground
I travel miles up stairs for the promise oasisin
a White land my face lies in a basin
My head throbs while my stomach bobs

I dream about friendly faces
and liquor beds with quarter laces
As my eyes open to welcome heart beats
I arise slowly from my seat
My ribs and head sore
I grab for the door
My memory is gone and done
and So is the Fun.....

Reviews

[Kristallo]

You did an excellent job on this one, I admire the cut-throat reality within the smoothly flowing verse, its captured with such candid finesse. Also enjoyed the choppy rawness to the rhyme scheme, it enhanced the fleeting moment-to-moment enjoyment obtained with alcohol, and then before you know it (like in a slow cam) it fades to the doleful scene of porcelain sickness and an emptied heart, chanting for the upteenth time that this is the LAST time you'll get that carried away. I know it all so well... really admired some of the phrases you used here, such as:

I dream about friendly faces
and liquor beds with quarter laces
As my eyes open to welcome heart beats...

Very nice. I admire how honest and mature this write was on a theme that might not have been equally matched until now. Great write, Seth.

[FJ Davis]

For over three decades, I drank to forget, and I succeeded in forgetting just about everything--except the reason I started drinking.
Your ten-year-old work has aged nicely, Seth.
"Cause n Effect" is a very well done, truly entertaining piece.

[Sethnicity]

Thank you. I understand what you mean... I lost a whole year trying to forget and another living regret, now look at me writing myself back to where I started to forget! I hope I get it "Write" this time.

[AK]

Great poem! I don't have much experience in the topic but I sure liked the poem! It has a wonderful beat to it. The rhyming is intriguinggggg.... Keep writing!

[Brittany]

Great expression of experience. I enjoyed.

[Coyote Poetry]

I know this feeling. I was a young man in the Army. Raised a lot of hell. Waking up was always the bad part. Nice description create visions of good days lost in time. A very ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[rivers]

If I didn't have such a good memory I couldn't chuckle a bit...been there done that.
And so that comp.101 professor gave you a well deserved positive score and likely had too good of memory also, but who was counting her scores? Thanks for sharing a round of the good ol' days, Sethnicity...

[realmwriter]

And I am so drunk I can't remember what happened the day before but I know I had a good time. I have been there and done it more times than I care to count. Nicely done.