Excavation and experimentation

"Loosely based on the story of samson as told from his perspective"

Dragging dropping wheezing
Confusion sets in with dreadful weight
Leave it behind; kindly meaning
It started with love but ended with hate

Live with passion; fire till death
Last breath out and done the struggle
You must know, don't ever guess
With a grunt, great samsons rubble

Darkness brings a silent clarity
Colors fade as do the sun's rays
But the mind grows with newfound verity
For once your free; but free from grace

Forgiveness unattained so unleash your rage
Rest is but death in the guise of life
So let it all out don't flicker and fade
End it with a punch, a yell, or a knife

The moment arrives with a trumpet blare
Laughs breeze by listless and free
As I stand between pillars naked and bare
Now; time for a blind man to make them see

Clouds gather gray and ride into battle
I am a lion, hair prickled back
I am defiant; the commander in his saddle
Then it all starts With a terrible crack

There is no slow demise just quick consumption. The opulence of before is replaced by a scene of squalor. They are defeated and I alone am. Not that I did not perish but that my act is unperishable. I etched my effect in the eternal cave. My fate was sealed by stone that when rolled away revealed a corpse. Still cold, still dead, not breathing. But my story continued, alive like I never was. That was the play and i, merely a character. I stepped on the stage with the free will to fumble a line or walk away in disgust. But from the exposition to my violent climax I played on. I acted with passion so that i, broken and bloodied, could be made pure through the songs and the stories.

Reviews

[Cyndy Robinson]

Wonderful poem, and I love the originality of the last paragraph. The poem has wonderful flow. But (always a but), its off a little bit in the second stanza. If you take the word "and" out of the second line of that stanza and follow out with a comma, the flow returns and I don't think it changes the poem any.

[Seth]

Thank you for the review, i think your criticism makes sense and for future drafts of the piece i will make the change. Again thank you for taking the time to read through and comment!