Rid of You

Ever bump into your ex while waiting for the lights to change on a crowded street corner?

Not even

this crosswalk's density

of impatient strangers,

not even the fuzzy fibers

of the back of your jacket,

purple-puce, flapping in madness

with each whipping of wind,

close enough to grasp

one last time,

not even the distant

music of our youth

tugging us backward, 

rewinding the lines

from our faces,

is strong enough

to stop me from turning 

from this curb, slipping out of sight,

remembering how to forget,

flushed in triumphant color.

Reviews

[KWP]

well. that was a pretty cool read to stumble upon - thanks !

I'm not sure you need the last line. I got the victory beforehand.

Love the little details, this is life right the little details, you encapsulate this. I think whereas I look at the whole you have found the details, I am rather drawn to this and you have inspired.

PS - nice to meet you :D

[Seth Cason]

Hey KWP! Thank you for the awesome comment. If I've inspired you, that means the world to me. Unfortunately at the moment I'm responding via one very uncooperative ancient kindle while my computer is recovering from major surgery, and it has taken me approximately six hours to write this message. So I apologize that I cannot view your work today but I will remember, just as surely as I hope to remember how to function without my laptop, though it's not looking good.

Read you soon,
Seth

[Mike Keenan]

Okay, first I would ditch the last line. Then I would take the second-last line, which is powerful, and make it the title because it's much better, and then I think I'd try to adjust the stanzas to make them the same length. Other than that, I loved it.

[Relic]

There are times when built-up and pent-up feelings are so strong, resolve is 100% assured.
Being in a relationship is often-times hard work. Disagreements, games, boredom, cheating...can play a part. Lessons will be learned, life will go on.

Good writing. :)

[barleygirl]

I love this as an emphatic statement of how much this narrator does NOT want to be reminded or involved with this person again. This (as described here) has always been my MO, which is why I'm baffled by those who write desperate-sounding poems begging regrettable people back into their lives (((HUGS)))

[lightsong]

I want to get Rid of Everything but all the spells I've cooked this Halloween turned out to be working in the ghost's land only. Sigh!!! this still tugs my heart strongly.

[Unspoken poet]

WOW! I enjoyed this write, such wonderful detail. you write wonderful

[Chris Shaw]

Excellent Title. So strong, and your stanzas reaffirm. You make it plain here Seth how you feel. Some memorable lines. Great poetry.

Chris

[Kelly Scheppers]

This is what I refer to as extraordinary writing! How wonderful to meet you, Seth. So glad to have found this today.

[Seth Cason]

Thank you Kelly! To be honest I've had a rough day, but your words are medicinal magic. Thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"rewinding the lines/ from our faces"
oh, how I love those lines.

I have three exes and one still lives here in town...but luckily we are still very close, so it is good when we run into each other....but I definitely have one ex I would cross the street and shield my face to avoid.
j.

[Seth Cason]

Thank you, Jacob, I appreciate it. And may your sturdy street shield protect you always from the monstrous stare of your ex-gorgon.