Chapter Two

Chapter Two

A Chapter by [Mackenzie]

A week from then, after an exhausting day of looking after her and solving her petty problems – a broken nail, a tiny knot in her hair – I returned to the kitchens, where I had started my working life. A single tear spilled down my cheek as I gazed upon the wooden benches, shiny from age; the pewter pots and bowls, newly cleaned; and my old workmates, the other servants, whose jobs seemed now like heaven, whereas before it was simply a way to earn a wage and a bed. They simply stared at me for a few moments – I must have been unrecognizable in my new white linen dress – then they erupted in a cheer as they saw through the façade of fake beauty. It may sound harsh, but I knew then – and still know now – that I am not the most beautiful person in the world, not even in this simple kitchen. They rushed forwards in a wave of dirty aprons, tied-back hair, and floury hands, embracing me, welcoming me back. The poor fools; they thought I was back for good. But I was fine with letting them think that for a while. The thought ran through my head that the mistress wasn’t going to be happy when she sees the state of my ensemble, but at that time, I couldn’t care less. As the voices died down, my own rang out loud and clear over the murmurs of my friends.
“My dear friends, I am sorry to inform you that I have not come back to work in this heaven. For I am still needed in the mistress’s life; but I have come to ask for your help. I have concerns about the cause of the illness, and the crop failure.” At this, an excited babble of sound broke out; I raised my hand to silence the servants, and then continued.
“I have reason to believe that the mistress is the cause of the changes. For one, why has she not been affected at all by this illness? And why does she still manage to keep her figure, when all of us, and the rest of the Kingdom, are starving to death because of crop failure and animal sickness? My friends, I need your help in exposing her true nature, and finding out why she has come to us. Will you assist me in my quest?” As my voice faded away, it was replaced by silence. It was a loud silence, full of the sound of people thinking. Finally, one brave girl by the name of Paige stepped forwards out of the knot of people.
“I for one support this quest. I agree that this plague cannot be natural, and that we need to find a source – and a cure – before it is too late,” she said defiantly. She had always been the one out of all of us that stood up for what she believed in, when she felt that something was an injustice. The next person to step out was Baram, the head butcher.
“I think this is a crazy idea. We could all lose our jobs; or worse, our heads. I am not participating in such folly,” and with that final statement, he went and stood over the opposite side of the kitchen to Paige. A low murmur began among the many remaining servants, increasing to a full blown discussion in a matter of moments. Slowly, slowly, the group began to separate into two; the small group who sided with Baram, thinking I was crazy, and a much smaller group, who stood by me, constantly congratulating me on my change from humble, quiet servant to self-confident lady-in-waiting. Collecting followers and support was going well, in my eyes.



© 2009 [Mackenzie]


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Max
Good job writing that is the hardest part. Now on to the piece. i think you have the story down the whole thing just needs a little revision and a few well placed spaces and you will have some solid work here. Specifics are always better, i had trouble knowing what period this was in and what everyone looked like. i mean you got at it a bit in the first paragraph though.

Posted 15 Years Ago



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Added on April 21, 2009


Author

[Mackenzie]
[Mackenzie]

Auckland, New Zealand



About
My name's Mackenzie, but I'll sign my reviews as Mackeznei because it sounds oh-so-much-cooler. I'm thirteen years old, living in the wonderful country of New Zealand. Oh and I'm a guy now! Unofficial.. more..

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