Not so Loving

I'm sorry if the quality is low! We haven';t studied poems much in school recently.

I lie there

Your hand caresses my cheek

The sound of your breathing is loud in my ears.

My hands are tied

My feet are chained.

I thought you loved me

But I'm just a toy;

A disposable razor;

An empty crisp packet.

You think you can just use me, then throw me away.

But I promise you, I will fight back.

I may be trapped now

But I will break free.

Before you have had your fun.

Before I am shamed.

I turn my head away, chin raised with courage and dignity.

You hit me.

I taste blood.

Now I see -

You're not so loving anymore.

Author's Note

Please, share your opinions! I don't mind criticism. Let me know about any grammar problems, misspellings, etc.

Reviews

[SugarlessGiRL]

I can really feel what you've written here. Like in some way or another, I can relate to the feeling you really did give this poem.

"I thought you loved me
But I'm just a toy;
A disposable razor;
An empty crisp packet.
You think you can just use me, then throw me away."

I like the way you just worded that all together. That right there is so well put, you really did get the feeling straight across.
I enjoyed reading it, so keep up the good work!

[Alicia™]

I like it; it's raw, and it just flows really raw. Great job!!

[Katchzen]

Wow. I read your profile first and I have to say, this is not at all what I would expect from a high school girl. I'm very pleasantly surprised.

(And I don't mean to say that high school kids can't write, not at all. I've know many high school kids that write very well. It's the content that surprised me. Most high schoolers I've read wrote only about romance and crushes and that cute boy in third period or how oppressive their parents acted.)

Please, keep writing. I will be looking forward to reading more of your work.