Not a Word

OSAD - 2 cats learn it's bad to rush into things

One time there was kitty. And the kitty found a tube. It was one of those fuzzy cat tubes. The kitty said “This tube! It was made for me!” The kitty went into the tube and as he worked his way into the tube, he made a “Shfff, shfff, shfff” sound as he went. Right when he was almost all the way in, with only his butt hanging out, he realized he couldn’t move. He struggled and crawled for ages, meowing helplessly, his butt wiggling frantically on the tube’s outside.

“Help! Help!” he meowed frantically, “I’m stuck in this tube!”

But nobody heeded his calls. After fifteen minutes of frantic screaming, he went still, laying sadly within the tube, his butt catching every wafting breeze. At one point, he could feel an ant crawling around on it and completely spazzed out in an attempt to unhinge the creepy crawly from his rear. Not only did it stay, but now a bird was pecking at it.

“This is the worst day ever,” he sighed.

Meanwhile, coming up the other end of the area was another kitty. The kitty saw the fuzzy cat tube and cried “This tube! It was made for me!” before bolting towards it.

“NO! NO! IT WASN’T MADE FOR YOU!” the trapped cat cried, but he saw the head fly in like a bullet, heard the “Shfff, schfff, schfff” sounds, and knew it was too late.

“Hey! There’s another cat in here!” he exclaimed, “What the heck are ya doing in my tube?”
“Hey, I saw it first!” the trapped cat snarled.
“No! It’s mine! I’m gonna beat you into next Tuesday, shrimp breath!”

He went to move forward, but couldn’t. He struggled and pulled and the trapped cat sighed heavily.

“Great, now we’re both stuck,” he sighed.
“Wait…you’re stuck?” the other cat asked.
“Yup. Been here for almost half an hour now.”
“…WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING?”
“I TRIED TO! YOU CAME IN TOO FAST!”

The other cat jerked ahead violently, only managing to rock the tube a little.

“You damn simpleton!” he screamed angrily, “Now you’ve gotten us killed! We’re gonna starve to death in this tube prison!”
“Hey! It was your fault for running in here like an idiot!”
“So did you!”

The two cats continued arguing, jerking around wildly, until suddenly the tube started rolling. The cats screamed and cried as they went flying down a hill and landed in a big puddle, which weakened the tube enough for both cats to get out. They shook off the water and stared at each other angrily.

“…I’m willing to keep this a secret if you are,” the first cat muttered.
“…Fine. Deal,” the second cat groaned.
“Let’s bury it.”
“What?”
“Nobody can ever know of our immense stupidity.”
“But I’m not good at digging.”
“I know someone who is.”

The first cat led the second cat back up the hill and into a yard. He led the second cat under a hole in the fence and ran up to a doghouse.

“Yo Bones! I need a favor!” the first cat called.

A large dog emerged from the house, wearing a spiked collar. He looked mean.

“What’s in it for me, Tuna?”
“There’s a bone in sector twelve, block away. Weak area under the southwest corner of the fence. Buried by the tree next to the azaleas. All yours.”
“…Deal.”

The cat led the other cat and the dog back to the tube.

“Dig us a hole, Bones.”

He didn’t ask questions and began to dig. The second cat looked to the first in awe.

“He…didn’t even question it.”
“Bones don’t ask questions.”

When the hole was dug, the two cats moved the ruined tube into the hole. Bones promptly covered it back up.

“Thanks, Bones.”
“Anytime, Tuna.”

Bones ran off to claim his prize. The cat known as Tuna looked to the second cat and grinned.

“Not a word.”

Author's Note

Critique always welcome~