Pirate's Lament

This is my first attempt at a Villanelle. It was tough!! Let me know what you think, and please go easy. I'm not sure if I like it myself, but it's what came to me when I sat to write.

 

 

Pirate’s Lament

 

She rides the waves of death’s farewell

guided by the yellow light of the moon

Rising, She drifts the surging swells

 

Fervent her search and story to tell

her abysmal march sailed too soon

She rides the waves of death’s farewell

 

They hear her song on midnight’s bell

haunting cries on her lamenting tune

Rising, She drifts the surging swells

 

Her frightening form eternally dwells

through crashing waves and pirates swoon,

She rides the waves of death’s farewell

 

She struggles to break the bitter spell

seeking revenge upon the watery dunes

Rising, She drifts the surging swells

 

By morning’s rise they’ll be in hell

a sea of cresting bodies strewn

She rides the waves of death’s farewell

Rising, She drifts the surging swells

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Awesome... certainly no damsel in distress... nope sounds like a strong lady standing up for herself with conviction no matter the cost...

They hear her song on midnight's bell
haunting cries on her lamenting tune
Rising, She drifts the surging swells


This part is my fav for she is woman hear her roar... she wil be heard win or lose... this must be an autobiography cause it sounds like you my friend.

[Mark]

I just read it for the third time. I am in awe!! This is fabulous, Amber!
The last stanza finally cleared up the question "Who is SHE?": the spirit of the Ship itself, reoccupied during the full moon by her former contingent who, "by Morning light, will be in Hell..."
Have you read my "Old Soldier"? That was my first villanelle attempt as well. Markymark (alas!, now left WC) was the poet who inspired me to try it, perhaps you'll be the one who inspires Periac!

[Dani California]

This is fabulous Amber. I am not very familiar with the rules of a villanelle so I just googled it and checked your form. It looks like you've pretty much nailed it girlfriend! Nice job!!

I also thought the content was well done. Great imagery. I love reading and watching movies about old ships, ghost ships, pirate ships, sunken ships.... etc. Just love it. So this was very enjoyable to read for me. And nice choice of graphics... so wonderfully creepy! lol

Great job!

[just is]

She struggles to break the bitter spell
seeking revenge upon the watery dunes
Rising, She drifts the surging swells

Powerful write, standing up for something to believe in.
These are some awesome lines.
The whole poem is wonderful.
You have wonderful talent.

[A Lost Man Found]

.......daaaaaannnnnggggg! that was amazing! now you have got me wanting to quote cap'n jack sparrow!
My fave quote of his has got to be "You will always remember this day as the day that you almost caught captain Jack Sparrow...." then he falls. What a drunk he was. anyway now that I am off of that little rant I have to say That I really liked it. You have done it again. From my understanding, Zeus is still missing a Bic.

[An owl on the moon]

Amazing write, so magically making a world that is vivid and alive! I do not believe anything can limit your mind!!!

[Periac]

wonderful!...you pulled it off ......down too 19 lines....I appreciate your patience to writing in this style....God knows I do not have it nor think I want to attempt.....great job Mate!