Star Gazer

A little something based on observations. Appreciate the art of human movement.

STAR GAZER 

 

the shadows shift 

fluidly in the foreign afternoon rain. 

Alone.  

 

In a corner with tunes flowing all around 

solid, saturating sound…  

swaying, 

she watches the perfection of form, 

strength against a whimsical spin, 

controlled and fully alive, 

toes pointed to perfection 

with knees settled in at just the right height, 

angles that glide,  

arches so beautiful they become a blur in the elegance of whirl, 

simple, balanced contours of time... 

 

No frill or fancy, 

only plain space against the throb of neon lights, 

lost in moments of admiration and rhyme, 

she watches the twirl, 

spiraling through the pulsing of time 

 

strength of a man in the ordinary, 

observed only in shadows  

by one whose breath holds…  

and sighs inside. 

A smile, 

warm and flushed wide at the obliviousness... 

he has no idea she watches 

admires, 

desires, 

not a single clue,  

one, 

but to be hypnotized in motion, 

sliding along the smooth edges  

in the mirage of shimmering lights 

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

Such a beautiful, mesmerizing movement of words... of life... of light... this dance that arouses the secret paths of thought... of desire... there in the shimmering darkness. One can feel the strength... reaching even in the shadows... the soft sliding wonder as she watches... unnoticed... perhaps... perhaps.

[Seriana]

Thank you, beloved, for your thoughts. How moments turn to thoughts and smiles, even if only observations. Thank you for your kind review! Still working on those next words....

[dnt]

“Only plain space against the throb of neon lights.” This line really stood out and caught my attention. It really did a wonderful job of emphasizing the dichotomy of the two - the watched and the watcher. Your stuff is beautiful and runs pretty deep.

[Seriana]

Thank you, D. I hope you know how much this review means to me

[Antifranticbabydoll]

This reminds me of my DND character Corah. If I could put her into a poem, this would be it. You did it for me! LOL> But honestly, I loved your words and how you put them together. Very whimsical and dreamy.
Thank you for a beautiful piece of art.

[Seriana]

Thank you so much! I love when that happens, you read something and you're taken there in your own world somehow. So glad you enjoyed!

[Amy R]

This poem explores the themes of admiration, desire, and the beauty of movement, particularly in the context of dance. You wrote this poem very beautifully...

The language is rich and evocative, using words like "fluidly," "saturating," "whirl," and "hypnotized" to create vivid imagery of movement and beauty. The choice of simple yet powerful phrases conveys a sense of intimacy and depth in the observer's feelings.

You wrote this very lovely..
Thanks for sharing.,
-Amy

[Seriana]

Thank you, Amy. Such a pleasure to read your thoughtful review. I appreciate your time and observations. So glad you liked it.

[Amy R]

You're welcome Seriana