Dave and Daisy

You should look both ways before you bite.

Dave slept during the day.  He’d had some bad experiences before and ended up investing in some motor driven curtains hooked to a sunlight sensor.  The guy from Home Depot set it all up.

He had two night jobs.  In his first job, Dave was a standup comedian.  Later on, he was a vampire.

Dave was a funny guy up on stage.  And a pretty tame vampire.  He had figured out a long time ago that if you suck someone all the way down to corpse status, you end up with policeman running all over the place.  When that happens, all you can do is go hungry for few days, or travel somewhere else.  And Dave the Funny Vampire doesn’t like to travel.  He is afraid of seat belts.

When Dave drinks the blood of his victims, he only takes enough to make them woozy.  And makes tiny holes that heal before the donor notices.  Nobody dies.  And they don’t remember.  That is due to the anesthetic.  None of them turn into vampires.  That’s crazy talk.  Who would believe anything like that could happen?

A few nights ago, Dave’s world became a much more complicated place.  He brought the young girl back to his pad, the one he had wowed during his act.  Should be good for a drink, then hit the streets.  He didn’t know she was a werewolf. 

One second he’s sinking his fangs into her neck, next thing you know she’s got her jaws wrapped around his ankle.  But things worked out, and they got takeout at the Waffle House and headed back to Dave’s place before the sun came up.

Dave knew the small apartment wasn’t going to cut it.  Daisy needed a large, fenced in yard to roam around in.  And he was going to need a man cave big enough for a foosball table, a wide screen, and a coffin.