The Job

1,300 words. Short Urban detective fantasy about two Para-detectives hunting, and arguing about a monster.

 

 

“Maybe a vampire?” I said.

 

I tossed my cigar at the mangled body lying to the abandoned car. I turned to my partner-and I use the term lightly- Liz standing across the road starring out at the village in the distance. She turned to me.

“No way,” she said, looking down at her phone. “The MO doesn’t match. What about the blood?”

Why on earth was she here anyway. “What about the blood?”

“There’s so much of it,” she said, looking up at me. “A vampire would never leave that much blood.” She pointed her big green eyes up at me, “you have read the manual, haven’t you?”

“Brain reads. I shoot,” I said. “It’s worked so far.” I lit up another cigar. “And don’t give me another diatribe in the middle of a bloody scene, Elisabeth. It really doesn’t help my mojo, y’know?”

Her lips tightened, “Ray,” she said. “It’s important in our line of work be accurate about this stuff. We must categorise them. We can’t just go around mixing up succubi and banshees, or saying that vampires sparkle in sunlight. It’s bad for business. That’s why our database is so important. It shows our clients what we’ve dealt with and how effective we are.”

“Wait,” I said. “We have a database?”

Her eyes narrowed. She was about to give me an earful spewing a mouthful of insults I don’t care to share then stopped and pointed down the road.

 

A woman sauntered towards us. Her green dress flowed behind her like a cape.

Liz and I nodded to each other. The woman in green come over to us and started telling us about her broken down car and we nodded politely then laughed our butts off. The woman’s mouth dropped.

 “I got it,” Liz said, “a succubus.”

“Excuse me!” the woman said.

“You’re a succubus aren’t you?” Liz turned and poked me, “I got it, pay up.”

“What! She didn’t agree yet.” I pointed at the woman, who looked non-too-happy with our conversation, “and she is clearly Indian. How many Indian Succubi are there?”

“Well, there is the yakshini. They’re like an Indian succubus-”

“Have you two just heard what I said?” the woman screamed. Tears welled up in her eyes.

“Darlin’,” I said. “You ain’t fooling anyone. Now, be a good ol’ monster and tell us what the hell you are?”

Liz took a step towards her, “there’s no need to be shy, just tell us and I’ll split the coin with y-”

She smacked Liz to one side. She hit the tree and fell to the ground. I whipped out my gun, and fired at her. The bullet scratched her as she flew at me and knocked me over the guardrail. I tumbled down the hill. The world around me went black as Liz’s screams broke the night.

 

I crawled up the hill and hopped over the guardrail. The trees blew and the wind hauled, but Liz was gone. Not again. After swearing at myself for a few minutes I called Brain and told him what happened.

“Again,” he said. “You have any idea how hard it is to find a necromancer these days? Loosing her to that incubus last month wasn’t enough either, yeah?”

 “It’s not like I planned it,” I said. Well, truth be told loosing Liz was on my to-do list, but not during a job. I promised him I’d find and he promised he’d find another necromancer to bring her back to haunt me until the end of days. I walked down the road and saw a trail of steaming blood running along the road and followed it like a dog with a bone.

The trail took me through the old town to a decrepit block of council estates. A steaming bloody handprint stained the knob of the graffiti covered steel door. I pushed through and followed the trail along the stairs leading to an open door. Acidic lavender hit my nostrils as I stepped in. Dust coated the flat like snow. Liz lay on the settee in the living room. Rope was wrapped round her body and tape sealed the whole in her face that had caused me so much pain over the past year. I really needed to thank this monster before I killed her. I pulled out a knife and sat next to her smiling.

Her eyes bulged from her head as sweat ran down her brow. I put the knife to the rope. Before I could make a move a hand rounded my neck and squeezed the life out of me. I let go of the knife as it threw me to the ground. The woman was on my back with her hands wrapped around my neck. She twisted, and I felt my next break.

Liz’s scream pierced my ears as the bones in my neck twisted and shuffled back together. Blood started through my veins again as the scream ripped through me.

Liz’s ropes had been cut. The woman was on top of her. Liz held a knife but, the woman held Liz’s arm. They struggled on the settee as I got myself to my feet and fixed the twisted flesh around my neck.

“R-Ray!” Liz said, whilst avoiding the woman’s jagged teeth trying to take a bite out of her. “Little help?”

I stepped closer and pulled the woman’s hair back. Her eyes fell open as drool spewed from of her mouth.

“I don’t know,” I said eying the snarling woman. “Don’t we need to categorise her first? Y’know for our database.”

“I hardly think that’s necessary at this point, Ray!” Her face turned purple.

“What’s wrong with you people?” the woman said. Her eyes locked on to mine, “you? You’re one of us.”

I put my gun to her head. Liz was still struggling underneath her. “Not your business,” I said. “Now would you please tell us what the hell you are?”

Her eyes burned. I pulled the hammer back. She gulped, “Vish kanya,” she said.

Liz sighed from under her, “I should’ve known. Oh well, I was the closest. Beer’s are still on you!” She smiled.

I thought about letting the vish kanya go. Letting her end my torment, but then I remembered Brain’s threat. I threw the vish kanya into the wall and unloaded a few bullets into her stomach. She screeched as steam rose from the wounds.

“That’s for that kiss you gave me back there,” I said. I shot her two more times, “that’s for not being a vampire, ” I raised the gun to her head. “And this is for business!” I shot her in the head. Damn, I forgot to say thank you. Liz finished guiding the vish kanya’s soul through the Sea of the Dead, then turned to me, “Hobgoblin or the Fox?”

I looked at the gun in my hand, but then remembered I was immortal. My heart sank.

THE END

 

Author's Note

This is my first draft, so any criticisms are welcome. Thank you.