Part 1 Falling, falling, falling, into the abyss of pain and fear

Sometimes I care so much about others that my own health doesn't matter to me anymore. I put myself on the back burner so much that I'm used to it. I allow meself to be treated like a door mat. My problem is that I have too big of a heart and not enough r

For the past two weeks, I've been feeling a little bit off. Physically I was fine, but in the back of my mind, I just knew something was wrong.

I felt like I was in a big empty pool. So big in fact, the sides were miles away from where I was standing. All of the sudden all these overwhelming waves of pressure, stress, sadness, depression, fear, anxiety, hopelessness, discouragement, dis belief of myself, and feelings of haplessness swirled all around me faster than I could think to get away from it. I was getting tossed around like clothes in a dryer. The harder I fought the more pressure I felt pushing me down on me.

I felt weak, powerless, and hopeless; that is until I asked God to save me. With my last flicker of strength I cried for his help.

Next thing I know, my strength is building back up! The pressure from the waves is lifting! Everything that seemed so far away, and so deep before, was now so much more realistic and do-able!

Until today, I felt like I couldn't breathe; now, I'm above water and the oxygen is rapidly filling my lungs. Now, I have a positive feeling and I'm stronger than ever before.

 

 I'm sitting in this deep dark hole, which surprisingly actually has a bottom. This hole is as deep and wide as space. I'm having one of my spasms and I'm running around looking for a way out. I pray for God to help me and save me. As soon as I finish my prayer, somewhere off in the distance, I see a tiny little glow of light.

A warm and beautiful light that gave me such calmness and relief. I was immediately drawn to it. I run to this light, which oddly enough wasn't that far away after all. I finally reach the light and I find that it wasn't really a light but the base of something structural.

I get a little bit closer and the form is finally clear; it's the base of a ladder. I climb the first few steps, and a few more show up. So, I keep climbing for what seemed like eternity, but was only a few seconds.

When I reach the top I'm finally re-united with my whole support system. God, my mom, my step-dad, teachers, friends, and the doctors who helped diagnose me; everyone was there with smiles on their faces and open arms, welcoming me back to reality.

From then on I was truly happy, I had a strong will-power, and I knew if I could handle that experience, I could handle anything.
From then on, I wasn't afraid anymore.
The moral of this story is, help isn't far away and all the thoughts about hopelessness are just thoughts; it's all in your head. You just have to motivate yourself to get out of the hole. 

I wrote these two descriptive analogies last year when I was a senior in highschool. Now, I'm feeling the same way all over again.
Part 1. of 2.

Author's Note

this is part one of my story. So what do you think?