Dying for Beauty

Is our beauty standard rational?

 

I have been on a diet since my teens. You’d think with the amount of time and effort I’ve put in, I’d weigh 50 pounds by now. But no such luck.

 

I trace it back to my mother, which is very convenient since she has crossed over into the hereafter and cannot object. Anyway, my mother was phobic about her own weight and, hence, was phobic about mine. I have perpetuated this little dance with my own grown daughters. The other day when I announced my latest and greatest diet plan, my daughter responded with, “For God’s sake, Mom, when do you get to stop and eat what you want?” (emphasis added.) I am 69 years old. She had a good point.

 

It’s the society we live in. Girls emulate fashion models who are literally walking racks for clothes to hang on as they strut down the runway. They look like Bangladesh babies, gaunt and emaciated. This is the standard that young girls try to emulate. Heroin chic. Some models even have their lives cut short by excessive dieting. There are high fashion ramp models who are literally dying for fashion.

 

Why is the standard of beauty so arduous and ridged? Why is it so thin? In poorer countries, models are bigger �" thus showing that they have enough money to eat more. In richer countries, it is the opposite. It makes no sense. No one really looks like the fashion queens that set the bar. It is literally unattainable, and yet thinness is the cornerstone of the fashion industry. I have however, seen a few plus-sized models in magazines and on television. And do you know what I think every time I see one? Girl, how could you let yourself get so big? You see, it’s my conditioning.

 

I’m thinking of taking my daughter’s advice to heart and eating what I want from now on. It’s time to be enjoying the last years of my life, instead of counting every calorie I put in my mouth. There is no one I have to impress �" not my husband �" no one. If I can overcome my phobia, that is what I will do.

 

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I’m a unhealthy 92 kg
I was a skinny size 6 or 8 in 1982 my bones were showing not from dieting but from losing a sister that year to suicide
I didn’t even want to eat but it wasn’t for beauty
I see so many people judge larger girls
‘Oh why is she wearing shorts her legs look so fat ‘if it’s a boiling hot day here why can’t she. It’s ok for a skinny girl to feel comfortable why not her in our hot summers
‘Oh look at her she’s huge she’s in a bikini ‘they say oh wow who cares I think good on her
‘Oh Look she’s surfing 🏄‍♀️‘ mmm yes good on her I say to myself
People look at overweight women as letting themselves go
I don’t I see it as age
Once we hit 50 it’s very hard to shift it
I try
Things need to change before more kids die from anorexia and bullemia
I’ve had three relatives with this two hiospitalised force fed
It’s a shame the fashion industry is so one sided
Loved your story

[Einstein Noodle]

At 69 yrs. we have earned the right to eat what we want .. this is pretty straight forward and obviously confessional (or am I mistaken?) A healthy thing to write about it .. pretty brave too .. as it puts you in a vulnerable position. I am a retired RN and many years ago worked with a woman suffering from anorexia .. at the time I worked in a step down unit for the adult ICU .. she was always admitted to us because her pulmonologist was the only doctor she trusted .. she came in malnourished and dehydrated, of course, and with serious metabolic imbalances. She wouldn't let male staff near her but for some reason made and exception with me and we spent some time visiting .. she said she literally would take one pea and split it in half because the whole thing was "too much" ...her growth was stunted and at her mid 30s she wieghed 50-60 lbs and was about 4 ft tall ... from her anorexia, not genetics .. it is devastating what society raises up as female beauty ... it is everywhere .. and overweight (even if it is a healthy weight) for young women can be and is brutal in schools ... you have got a clear and healthy grasp on your own phobia .. so good on you! I treat myself as well ... in moderation .. including naps :))))))))))))))))))) I confess that reading this after your story about Emma was a bit of a let down speaking to the literary aspects of both .. this is straight forward ... reveals your vulnerability and honesty .. I appreciate the bit of wry sarcastic humor your daughter displays as she points out your age "after all" :))) thanks for sharing .. peace and joy!
E.