"Am I not merciful?"

New developments occur involving the family life of one Iris Kelly.

Today is…another rainy day. The only problem is that it isn’t raining nearly hard enough. Even so, this weather accurately reflects my mood for the past two days. From recent events, I’ve learned a few things about myself. The most depressing thing I learned? I haven’t changed at all. So what if I can admit my own personal flaws? I still don’t want anyone else pointing them at ‘cause I still don’t wanna look at ‘em.

            …It’s raining again today…

            Just the other night, I thought up a rather good poem. Sadly, I didn’t write it down and I forgot it the very next day. With Angel busy with her “reading circle” thing and having the day off today, I have an unlimited amount of time for introspection.

            Isn’t it wonderful to be busy? I envy Angel…she won’t bring it up, but I’m sure University life is going good for her. I’m sure she’s having fun being exposed to so many different people and different opportunities. I’ve realized my inferiority complex towards her…

            “What do I want?” I’ve been asking myself that a lot today. I mean in life, not just generally speaking. For the “me” who threw away dreams and major plans for the future yet knows things can’t carry on like this forever and really doesn’t want that anyway…just what do I want to happen in the forty years? “Graves are filled with the dead who would love to have a second chance.” they say.

            Knock, knock, knock

            …Strange, someone’s knocking on my door. I’ve grown too used to whomever just letting themselves in, apparently.

            Knock, knock, knock

            “Yeah, yeah, yeah…don’t rush me…” Somehow it takes more effort than usual to pull myself up from my bed and walk to the door. I wonder, what are the odds that my folks are on the other side of that door? Logically speaking, they would have the only reason to visit me and be knocking. I figure Angel to be more…theatrical with what she decides to plan, though. Ever since the whole library thing I’ve been rather on edge about her antics. Speaking of which, I wonder what happened to that guy…

            Bang! Bang! Bang!

            “Sheesh! This had better be important!”

A biting blast of cold air is the first thing to hit me as I open the door. The second thing to hit me is a shoulder as it rushes inside. With the hood of a wet jacket pulled over the head of this intruder, I nearly panicked.

However, there was only one small squeaker I know with shoulders that small. I also happened to clearly see her face before she came inside.

“I’m glad you knocked but really, could you at least wait and, you know, ASK before storming in?”

While scolding her, I shut the door.

Ah!

I realize all too late the folly of my actions. I feel conflicted now, having a twelve year old girl in my place. Come to think of it, the last time I saw her was when Angel’s power went out. Well, no news is good news as they say…

Banging on the front door, rushing in, not speaking, keeping her back turned…now, I’m fairly good at reading the mood if I do say so myself so I can tell when there’s bad luck brewing. It’s especially fairly ominous when she just stands there like that.

Humph, I guess it’s time to pretend to be a responsible adult again…

“Click.” That’s the sound the light switch made as I turned it on.

“So what’s up kiddo? I know you didn’t come all the way over here just for a social call…though if you did, I’d be more than grateful.”

The longer the silence dragged on the more I louder the thunder rumbling in the background seemed to get.

Finally, she said as calmly as if she were drawing a picture, “I’m running away for the night so I am staying here for now.”

Ahahaha…

I just heard something unbelievable.

“…Why?”

Laughing out loud was probably just too rude. Common sense, however, is my only real redeeming value so I also resisted the urge to simply tell her “No.” I’m still new to this and all, but girls are actually much deeper creatures than they appear to be. Unfortunately, their complexity does not differ between age groups. I’ll decide to hear her out.

Am I not merciful?

After tugging down her hood, Iris Kelly pulled her hair out of her jacket then she made herself real comfortable on my bed. It wasn’t like her clothes were anything more than moist so I allowed her to do so without protest.

“…Is it your mother’s boyfriend again?” I asked when it was obvious that she wasn’t going to give me an answer without a little pressure.

“She’s not my mother.” said the girl, offended. “And I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay?”

“Okay…well, throw me a bone here or something. If you’re asking for help, fine, I’ll help, but you’re going to have to give me something more than that to work with…”

I was one once, so I dare to presume that I kids can be a lot more reasonable than most adults can be. After all, she wouldn’t have run all the way over here in the freezing rain if she didn’t want to talk about whatever it is eating her.

After a few minutes spent looking around, she finally threw me that bone. “Nothing happened…” she said. “He was just a being a creep. I mean, he was always a creep, but he was being a bigger creep…”

“A creep, huh?” That single word is the bane to every guy from the mouths of a younger girl. Hell, any girl calling a guy a creep is paramount to being called a pervert flasher. “What’d he do?”

Iris Kelly shrugged. “He was trying to be all nice to me…telling me that I could ‘come to him for advice’ or whatever…”

Ah, why every adult in the world makes that mistake, I will never know. Don’t tell a kid that obviously doesn’t really know you �"or like you- to come to you for advice. That’s just a bad idea.

Iris Kelly continued, “That man has his own apartment, but he’s at our house most of the time. He said if I wanted, I could go over there if I was bored.”

Oh no…see, now that’s creepy guy. Cast in the name of some infallible being: Ye Guilty. Don’t invite some kid over to your place, just…don’t do it.

“And then he goes and say ‘You can drink if you want’ and…dirty movies too! I tell Angel and what does she do? Nothing! Worse than nothing, in fact! She may as well have just rubbed his belly! And…I swear if he calls me ‘smut’ again I’m going to kick him so hard they’ll both drop!

I could hear Iris Kelly’s voice begin to tremble a little and I was beginning to feel a little angry too. There are some problems here…but as an outsider looking in it’s obvious that at this point the largest problem is her Angel.

Sighing, I rub my head. Just thinking about this is giving me a headache. Next, she’ll be waking up with that creep’s hand up her shirt. The ball, as they say, is now in my court.

“…Alright, you can stay for the night. Tomorrow though, you’re going back home. I’ll go with you. I want to talk to this Angel of yours.”

“Click.” That’s the sound the lock made a moment before the door was pushed open.

 “Mil-li-ar-do~!” In a singing voice that was surprisingly good, Angel arrived with yet another cold blast of air. She was dressed casually without a coat and her hair was tied into a long bushy ponytail. As she closed her small black umbrella, her eyes settled on Iris Kelly. “Oh, Iris is here too? And I was worried that you were lonely…”

…Jealousy already? Things just got a whole lot more complicated with her showing up randomly. No doubt, that last part was Angel code for “Why is she here!?”

I didn’t want to lie, but the truth was between me and the girl. Plus, I’ve kept the exact ambiguity of my relationship with Iris Kelly something of a secret.

“…Extremely bad timing huh?” With no response from either me or Iris Kelly, Angel said rather accusingly, “Are you cheating on me?”

“No!” I said shocked. I can’t imagine that she actually believes that, but at the same time it’s not something to joke about. “Don’t make this moment anymore awkward than it already is, please.”

“I’m just sleeping over.” Iris Kelly said right after I was done speaking. “Milliardo already said it okay…”

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Is it just me or did that sound like bragging? Didn’t I just say to not make things more awkward?

Angel remained calm. “A sleepover? Hmm, I don’t see any bags of spare clothes though…” She then turned her glare at me after debunking Iris Kelly’s claim. “Well…I don’t like it, but I know that birds fly south for a reason so I will let it go!” Puffing out her chest, she then announced loudly, ‘This sleepover just became a slumber party though!”

Thus declaring so, Angel claimed her maid costume and went into the bathroom to change. I exchanged glances with Iris Kelly, silently scolding her, but she just smirked and shrugged her shoulders. She then kicked off her sneakers and grabbed a book from my personal library.

Where did my boring life, with its repetitive days, go?

 

“For a guy, you keep your place pretty clean and tidy, Milliardo.”

“…That’s the only thing good about this place, really.”

Their comments were so sugar coated that I could almost taste the diabetes. My stress level was incredibly high. I kept worrying that sooner or later Iris Kelly or Angel would ask a rather rude question and some kind of argument would break out. It was always nagging at the back of my head, but fortunately for me Angel did a good job getting friendly with the recalcitrant twelve year old. By now, Angel had read through most of my library (in fact, her convenient excuse for dropping by was to borrow another one.) and one of the first topics she went on about was her favorite books. Eventually, the tension in the atmosphere gave away to making fun of my apartment.

The strangest part of the night came when Angel attempted to tuck Iris Kelly into bed. The expression on Iris Kelly’s face was priceless. When she’s playing the maid, she really gets into character sometimes. I’m surprised she has a disdain for acting. Not wanting to be in the way of the girl’s awkward bonding, I dared to venture forth into the cold night air.

The rain had not stopped yet, but it wasn’t raining harder as I wished it to be. I was planning on heading over towards the park, but a few seconds after stepping out, I was already shivering with the light jacket that I had put on. Ultimately, I just decided to hang out in front of my door.

Expectedly, it wasn’t too long until the light went out beneath the door and a few seconds later, my personal maid stepped out into the cold wet world with me. With her hands clasped together over her skirt, Angel stood on the other side of the door.

After a few seconds of silence, I decided to come clean. “I’m going to see her mother tomorrow.” I said.

“…And this is the part where I ask ‘why’ right?” Angel said all-knowingly. “Ah, but you won’t tell me that right?”

It’s not like I don’t want to…it’s just…complicated.” I shrugged.

“…‘complicated’ huh? I understand that it has nothing to do with me, but there’s no need to act so suspiciously about it you know? If you’re not doing anything wrong than you don’t need to be so jumpy.”

“I’m not jumpy…I’m just a little nervous about helping people…or something like that…”

“Uh-huh…so you’re helping her are you?”

 I sense a little hostility there. “…Go ahead, Angel.” I said feigning reluctance. “I know what you’re thinking so just go ahead and say it. Tell me how in over my head I am…getting involved with someone else’s family when I won’t even face my own…”

“Why do I need to tell you what you already know?” Angel asked reaching out her hand into the rain. “There can’t be anything wrong with helping people so if you want to help someone then by all means, do it. Iris seems to like you, though, so I should ask that you consider how serious you are about helping her.”

“She reminds me of me.” I say while trying to keep my body from shaking. “Our circumstances may be different, but I think we are similar in a way. I just don’t want her to end up a loser like me; I guess that’s my main reason.”

After hearing my reason, Angel asks a perceptive question: “Is that how you plan to earn redemption, Milliardo?” Turning towards me, I could see that she had slipped into her ‘serious’ mode. “You of all people should know the consequences of trying to live through someone else. The way I see it is that Iris Kelly is Iris Kelly and Milliardo Wright is Milliardo Wright. Helping her won’t bring any peace to your mind if you’re doing it just because you want to see what happens. Iris likes you, you know. Involving yourself with only half-baked intentions is something that could only end up hurting the both of you.” Angel shrugged her shoulders and stepped closer to me. “Well, it’s just my opinion. I don’t know the details so I’m probably just making it bigger than it is.”

…My reason for helping her… I suppose maybe it was a little selfish of me to get involved in another person’s life especially when I’m really no better off in life to be advising anyone. After all, showing just the bad without the good doesn’t help at all. You just end up choosing something that seems less bad than what you’ve been shown.

“In any case…you’re only nineteen years old, you know? You’re not thirty nine, not fifty. There are limits to what you could do even decades down the road. I like Iris though. She’s not a bad girl and if you want to help her, then fine, I’ve got your back so don’t worry about that. Whether it’s to push you forward when you need it or to pull you back when you get too far ahead I’ll be there.”

Reaching her threshold for being out in the cold weather, Angel slapped me on the back as hard as she could for some reason. Warning me not to stay out too much longer because if I get sick I won’t be of much help to anyone, she went back inside the apartment.

However, one burning question remained:

“Is there any such a thing as true selflessness?”

The answer to that is something I will have to discover on my own.