"I'm not into cross dressing."

Part One of 'The Perfect Storm.' Can Milliardo put up with his girlfriend, her best friend and Iris Kelly for a whole night?

This really isn't a dream. I'm sleeping on a bed that isn't mine, in an apartment that isn't mine and with the Angel right next to me and Pizza on the other side of her. This, by far, has got to be the weirdest day of my life.

My work hours are from six in the morning until six at night. My co-workers are all guys, but my boss is a woman. Socializing really isn't my thing so beyond greetings and farewells, there isn't any male bonding to speak of and my boss is kind of...well, she's the boss.

However, shortly after arriving, I was immediately called over by the others.

“Hey, dude, Wright, come here.” The man calling me was Xavier. He had a roguish look to him. He frowned a lot, had a perpetual five o' clock shadow and scruffy black hair. Of the guy's he had the most seniority, but I don't know how old he is.

The others included Steve, a twenty year old college student who also works doing construction. He wasn't bad looking, he looks like the type of guy who'd chase after girls as some kind of sport. Finally, there was George who once worked on the manliest of all jobs: a fishing boat. When not out doing their jobs, they were either sitting around discussing women or a 'get rich quick' scheme. Really. Usually, this was while playing cards. I don't like cards nor do I have any business discussing women or useless half baked money schemes so naturally, I keep to myself.

Scowling, Xavier said what his business with me was, “Word on the street is, you're dating a girl? Confirm or deny?”

...Why is there a word on the street? When could these guys have seen us together anyway?

“...Yeah.” There's no point in denying it. “I am seeing someone.”

“Ugh,” growled Xavier, “So it is true..”

O~kay...what's wrong with these guys? Xavier lowered his head, Steven pulled his hat down over his head as if to avoid eye contact with me and George has his eyes closed and arms folded. It's like a group of 'Stans' found out their idol wasn't a virgin anymore. Are they jealous or something? Heh...

I'm kind of scared to ask, but... “So...what's wrong with you guys?”

“Remember,” said Steven, “that time we all went to that group meeting with those cute girls and when it ended we left you with the hottest girl there?”

Tch, he had to bring that up again. Damn it! I hate being reminded of that night. It's bad enough I got dragged along, but I get pestered the only girl who can't keep her hands off me and wants a one night stand. Why they seem to think it's great is beyond me, since I hate being thought of like that. What a loose woman. On that, I am glad Angel turned out the way she did even considering that she dresses as a pirate.

“I told you guy's not to bring that up again. This conversation...is over.” I turned away and began to walk away.

“Wait a minute, Wright!” Xavier nearly shouted at me before I could run away. “The point is the next day you said, and I quote, “I don't have time for worthless things!” and declared that “worthless things” included girlfriends! So, why do you have one now?”

...Oh yeah, I did remember saying something like that in the heat of the moment. As for the 'why' things happen.

“One more thing.” Added George. “Why are you dating a kid?”

“...What?”

“Depending on your answer...” said Steven.

“We may have to kill you.” finished Xavier.

...I get it. Of the girl's I've been hanging around lately, Iris Kelly is the only one who I've spent the most time with out in public. It's ironic because I do spend more time with my actual girlfriend, Angel than I do with her, it's just that she tends to randomly drop by my place to sing songs, play board games that she brings over, borrow/return a book, study or play make-believe! In other words, we don't do things 'normal' couples do and we do it at my place.

Mystery solved.

“That's my little sister, you idiots. I do have a girlfriend, buy it's not her...obviously.” Sorry, Kiddo, I had to exaggerate out relationship, but it's for the greater good. My life may not be worth much, but it still has some use.

“Her name?” Xavier fired, unwilling to let the issue go.

“Angel.” I fired back, wanting to just put the final nail in the coffin of this entire conversation.

“Last name?” he shot back without missing a beat.

“Rimini.” I answered, beginning to lose patience.

“Well alright then!” He grumbled. “I'll let you off the hook this time. Next time, bring a picture...or better yet bring the actual girl. I want to see how well you can do on your own.”

What a headache, I swear...

“Wait.” Suddenly, Steven, “Did you say 'Angel Rimini?'”

“Why? Do you know her?” I did hear that she was rather popular.

“...Well, I knew a girl by that name back in high school.” he said. “Well, I knew of her, to be more precise. She was in my class, but dropped out in the middle of the first year so I never got to know her. She kind of stayed to herself. Last I heard, she broke her arm and that was it. Are we talking about the same girl?”

“Hm, did she have blonde hair?”

“Oh, uh, no, no she had black hair.” Steve shook his head. “They have the same name, but the one I know lives in a different city anyway, so...”

“What are the odds?” piped in George.

“Hey, man, the world is a small place. I ran into the same girl from my junior high at least twice. I even moved right across the street from her.” Thus, a new conversation began among the trio.

...Why do people lie? Probably because it's convenient.

By six, the city becomes active in a different way. Children going home from after school with their parents brings back memories. It's a faint memory, like a degraded home movie, where I'm standing outside of my elementary school for a long time for two parents who won't show up for a long time. How did I feel back then? I think I was scared and worried that they would not show up or something like that. Still, simply walking down the street, looking at all the stores and the people reminds me of something from those younger days.

Something I desperately want back.

Once again, I reach the end to another day. I got a house phone a while back. I guess I'll call Angel and wrap up this day like that.

...That was the plan, anyway.

“Mil-li-ar-do~!! Welcome home!”

“Yo, homie! 'Sup?”

“About time you showed up.”

The 'perfect storm' was waiting for me inside of my apartment. My girlfriend, her best friend and a squeaker were all nestled in my room. Never mind that they're all here, it was the fact that they were in my apartment was abnormal

“Where did you come from...?” I asked.

Angel and Pizza chuckled. “Through the front door.” said Angel. She held up a key that looked very familiar.

My keys were in my pocket so she didn't have mine. So, when did she duplicate it?

“You should let me know before you do these kinds of things...”

“What, you're not going to get mad at her?” asked Pizza.

“I wanted to surprise you!” said the Angel. “...Surprise!”

“Oh wow...”

With the Angel being, well, Angel, I can understand her being here. I debate the necessity of her 'surprise,' though. If she wanted a spare key all she had to do was ask. As for Pizza, well, yeah, she's been here before and she's been inside before. I'll never get that sound out my ears. The only person who otherwise had no business being here was Iris Kelly.

I really wanted to know how she ended up here, but considering her circumstances and the people in my life, I let it slide. For now.

“So, putting that aside for now, why are you all here? We just hanging out or what?”

“Yeah...that's pretty much.” said Pizza with a shrug. I didn't like her nonchalant response so I looked to Angel for some, dare I say it, coherence.

“We...our power's out!” she admitted. “There's no electricity so we're just here to borrow a bit of your power?”

“Heh? That's...actually that's pretty amazing to hear. So you didn't pay your bill so you came to run up mine, did you?”

“No, no, we paid our bill...” said Pizza. “Earlier today, we did.”

“Ah, of course, of course. There's never a dull day around here.”

“Our power should be back on by tomorrow or the day after.” Pizza said. “Be a bro and put us up, yeah? We'll cook and keep the place clean in return.” She draped her arm around Angel's shoulder. “Angel even prepared a maid outfit just for you.”

...I know it. What she meant to say was “just for your eyes” or something akin to that. Still, I couldn't just let that go. It nagged at me. It gnawed at me. It begged me.

“No, thanks,” I said, “I'm not into cross dressing.”

“Pfft hahahahaha.” Pizza giggled at the joke as if it was funnest thing in the world. It spread and even Iris Kelly managed to crack a smile.

“That's not what I meant, yo!” said the short blonde after recovering her breathe. “Have you ever thought about becoming a comedian? Like those guys with their own hour on TV.”

“Yeah, thanks and you should be a rapper.”

Pizza was giggling again before she could make a retort. Since it seemed I just wasn't going to get any satisfactory answers, I turned to Angel for some.

“Angel, what's wrong with your friend? She thinks I'm funny.”

“Pizza...really, really likes comedy.” said Angel with a chuckle. “Your delivery is pretty good too.”

“You're making it sound like I'm doing it on purpose, though.”

“An unexpected talent.” piped in the squeaker.

“Yeah, well, more importantly, my place isn't big enough for three people.” This is little more than a box, after all. “You've had your fun, so just go buy some candles and some food the store and call it a day.”

Pizza took a deep breathe and stood up. Up until then, all three of them were sitting on my bed, making me feel like I'm the one visiting. They were in the order of Pizza, Angel, Iris Kelly.

“We're broke!” She declared. “Until I get paid for my part time job and Angel gets her allowance, we don't have any money!”

That's how the 'perfect storm' dragged me into their crisis. My 'day' had ended, but my night had only just begun and it would be a long one.