Dreams came true

Milliardo's promised 'date' with the Angel takes a sudden and unexpected turn, forcing him to finally become decisive about his life.

Saturday came far too quickly when it was all said and done, the weather seemed to disagree with it. To be honest, this was my first actual 'date' and I had never expected it to be with a girl from my old childhood days. Still, even though it was technically a date, it still felt like it was just another boring day off for me. Lately, I find myself with too much going on. 

It was forecast to rain today and earlier, it had drizzled a bit for a short while. The clouds still remained overcast though, as if predicting more bad weather. I know it was rude and for bad company, but I couldn't help feeling a little down myself. These past recent days, after chancing by the Angel and Pizza girl's apartment, I was a little traumatized by it. Now more so than ever, I feel as though I haven't gotten any further in life than I was when I decided to leave home. Now, the days just seem to be passing by, but I'm still stuck standing still. 

About my sour mood, there's no way Angel couldn't have picked up on it. Well, I'm not doing this to be pitied, but I did agree to this so I am trying not to let it control the mood. Even though it was raining earlier, she is confidently wearing a white dress with knee shin high pants. Her long black hair today, rippled elegantly down her back as usual along with her cheerful smile. 

As for the destination we eventually ended up coming to, it was a park. I wasn't the most romantic, but it was a perfect place for a nature walk...or to what kind of amounted to it. Not too far away was a large shopping area with dozens of stores and probably a movie cinema, but I can't stand crowded places like that. 

On the other hand, tough, we are walking through a nearly deserted park on a cycling path. It was the type of place that would make even me feel nervous walking if I was alone. I hold the idea that someone might jump out at me or that I might spot a dead body somewhere among the foliage in the back of mind. 

The Angel, however, didn't seem to share my worries. "Wow!~" she exclaimed looking up at the trees. "They're so skinny and tall~ I wonder how they manage to sustain their weight with such a thin frame?" In fact, she seemed to be quite enjoying herself and yet, I am glad she didn't come here wearing a maid's uniform or a pirate get-up. As I thought, normal girl clothes suit her the most.

"...It definitely gives off a very relaxed atmosphere huh? ...It certainly doesn't feel like we're somewhere in the city." I say with a shrug. "I've actually never been her before so it's a first for me."

"So you didn't come here because it was such a nice place? I've seen a few places I thought couples might hang out at already."

"There's no need to sound so surprised about it...and those places were kind of shabby weren't they?"

"MMMGH," Angel stretched her arms out and spun around. "It's not so much the place, you know. It's the mood and the atmosphere. "Happiness in poverty," they say."

"..." I wonder about that. "Well, what about you?" 

"Hmm...if I had to choose between living in on the streets with you, Milliardo, or living in a high class fancy mansion with some old geezer who only saw my body..." She places the tip of her finger against her mouth and gazed thoughtfully into the overcast sky.  "...Actually, it is  a pretty simple choice, but with it comes a whole lot of complications, right? Staying out on the streets isn't exactly the healthiest thing to do, physically speaking and being someone's trophy wife isn't exactly stimulating in any way...but you wouldn't think twice when it comes to something like that, right? You'd probably play the hero and nice guy part and shove me away thinking..." She wrapped her arms around her body and cuddled herself. "I want my beloved to be happy!"

I stopped and stared at her exaggerated expressions. I wonder where exactly she gets her energy from. She seems to be the type of person who would be good at acting or something in those lines. It doesn't seem like she's too interested in people looking at her body. As for her theory though...

"...Don't overestimate me. If I have the option to bring you with me, then you're staying with me. At least that way...I'd have someone to talk to."

"Oh!" Angel clapped her hands and pointed at me. "You get to sleep with a healthy young lady and the only thing you want to do is talk to her?"

"Well...it's on the streets so...yeah. I'm not into the whole 'voyeur' thing."

"I will try anything one time!"

"Eh~" I didn't really know what to say so I gave a half assed response. "You should curb your enthusiasm."

"Well, that's no fun...well there are some things I won't do...I won't tell you any of them, though."

"That's a real pity." I said with a sigh and caught up to her. 

The cycling road we had been walking on, had branched off a while back and rather than walk in the direction of a creepy and eerie dark overpass, I brought her in the opposite direction. My idea was that we would simply circle back around and end up where we had come in. That was what I had in mind, anyway...

"You know," said Angel, "the river's running rather slowly...do you want to get closer to it? I even saw a sign that there was a beaver in this park. Let's go see if we can find it?"

I wanted to object, but immediately after suggesting the idea, Angel took off and ran through on the trails in the woods to the side of the river. It wasn't exactly dirty or anything like that...but it certainly didn't seem like the place you'd find a beauty bathing in it. I wouldn't be surprised if you picked up a leech in there. The bushes too, I got the feeling that there was poisonous ivy amongst those branches...though I've forgotten what exactly it looked like. 

Even so, I have to admit...it's a nice enough atmosphere...if you ignore the paranoia of being followed or grabbed out of nowhere. At this part, the river was very shallow and the bottom could be clearly be seen. Judging by the leaves and twigs in the water, the current was moving pretty slowly. On the other side of the river was a bunch of thick bushes which seemed like it would be a very good spot to hide a body.

"I don't think we're going to find a beaver here." I said looking around. "Maybe we'll have to go further upstream to find it. This place just doesn't seem like it's a place where you'd find a beaver."

"Animals have a tendency to pop up in unexpected places. What would you do if a lion suddenly appeared here."

"Hmm...I really don't know..." I sigh and place my hands on my waist. "My life isn't anything special so if you can escape while I'm being eaten...that's fine with me. It can be used for something good." If it came down to it, I'd probably throw away a life I don't really want anyway. 

Silently, Angel looked at me with a sad expression. "Hmm, I thought you said you weren't heroic or anything?"

...Well, she does have a point. To be honest, though, it's not like I would seriously want someone else to die when there is something that could be done about it. 

"Don't think of it as a sacrifice or anything like that. If you don't like it, let's hope a lion doesn't come wandering by, eh? In any case...people don't change, their priorities do and that right there is not the easiest thing in the world to do. Especially when it feels as though you don't have a lot of time left..."

"...Is that what's been bothering you?" Angel asks as she stands in front of me. Her carefree expression changed into one of seriousness. "You know, Milliardo, when life gets you down...sometimes it helps to do what you want that will make you happy. The other day, you saw me dressed as a pirate, but what I'd really like to do is actually act like a pirate. Life for everyone isn't all smile and sunshine and everyone has their own ways of getting their stress off. What do you do to take the stress off Milliardo?"

That is a good question. It's not like I can eat away my problems. "Hmm, well when I was younger, I used to go to sleep whenever something frustrated me and when I woke up, I would feel much better."

The Angel suddenly broke out into a wide smile. With a firm nod of her head, she stepped forward and grabbed onto my arm. "Alright then! Let's do that."

"Let's do what? Hey, where are going? And don't pull so much either."

"We're going to your place and we're going to forget about the world as we sleep together! You don't need to think about unnecessary things since they'll only get you down anyway! I am going to help you forget your worries, Milliardo!" she declared. 

In the end, we ended up at my place. Well, Angel does have a roommate and a hotel would be pretty sketchy. Even so, I still think my place was a little...much. How did things turn out this way? 

"So this is where Milliardo sleeps, huh?" she says as she casually sits down on my bed. Making herself further more at home, she picked up a few of the comic books on my bed and skimmed through its contents. "So Milliardo like this stuff? Mature romances stories and comedies, huh? ...Hm most of the stuff isn't suited for children...is it?"

Looking down at her, she seemed to be having a pretty fun time. "I could let you borrow some for a while, if you want, but just so you know, it is for mature audiences only. Some rather graphic stuff in a few of those..."

"I guess all men are perverts after all..." she said as she laid back.

"It's just comics, so don't worry about it. I don't read it for the fan service, but for the story. I sometimes wonder if things like that really do happen so easily...it's like that. For your information, I don't believe in one night stands. It's a matter of principle."

"Have you not done stuff like that, Milliardo? I thought you would have found someone you love already." She chuckled softly, "Though, I bet that is kind of strange to hear from someone who brazenly confessed her feelings, right? Who knew accomplishing your dreams could be so easy."

That's right...it wasn't so long ago that this girl told me she loved me and forced a kiss on me. At that time, I was happy, but afterwards, I was confused about what should happen from there on. The end result was that we decided to remain friends and didn't bring up the topic again. But now...

I throw myself onto my bed and roll over onto my back next to Angel. "Sometimes," I said while staring up at the ceiling, "it feels as though I'm not even in control of my own body...like I'm just watching some kind of bad dream play out that I have no control over. I don't really have a goal or anything to aim for anymore. I'm just doing this because I have to."

"You know, Milliardo," said Angel after a lengthy silence, "life is never so clear-cut. Whether you believe that you have some role to play in the world, that you make yourself into who you want to be or believe that there is some omnipresent force watching and guiding us and protecting us...it's all a matter of perspective, you know?" 

She suddenly sat up and began taking off her clothes starting with her sneakers, then her dress which she neatly folded and placed to the side. The bra she was wearing was a pink full cup bra. She stopped there and didn't take off anything else. After running her hand through her hair, she laid back down...on top of me, facing the ceiling.

"...What do you think you're doing?"

"...This is the part where you hold me."

"..."

"Go on, do it! It's okay!"

Once again, I'm not into the whole 'touchy-feely' thing. In fact, I really don't like it, but, wrapped up in her pace, I wrap my arms around her waist. The feel of her skin makes me feel nervous and uneasy not to mention hot too. 

"Now then," she said placing her hands on top of mine, "allow me to tell you a bedtime story." 

"A what now? Angel, how old are we again?"

"In the time that I've known you, I know I haven't been exactly the greatest friend in the world. Earlier, as we were coming here with me pulling on your arm, it reminded me of the time we went out on that field trip during our seventh grade summer. It was the only time I remember being...close to you. Do you remember that day?"

"Of course, I remember..." Though I don't really want to. "For whatever reason you decided to spend the entire day bothering me. You even pulled me into a lingerie shop and I got weird looks by a lady who saw you pulling me around. For some reason, you had a lot of energy that day."

"Heh, I was having fun. Even now, it's one of the best moments in my school life. You never complained, just smiled and went through with it. I even had to drag you into the picture for the class." She paused for a moment. "I still have that picture, you know? When graduation came, I was even the first to greet you wasn't I? Seeing you dressed so nicely made me...really happy back then though I didn't realize it myself.

Is that what happened?  I don't know if she was the first one to speak to me or not. I can't remember all of the small things like that. I know she greeted me and complimented me though. "...I could say the same thing actually..."

"Hmmm~" Angel's grip on my hand tightened, but I really wished she would do something with her fluffy hair. It was making me hotter. "High school...was terrible for me. My breasts brought me too much attention. Back in school with you, I know the teachers and the students were always making fun of my posture, but it was because they were heavy, you know? But...nobody every tried to touch them though. In high school, there was a boy who kept touching them. It started out with them making comments about them and it escalated from there."

Hearing this story, it left a bitter taste in my mouth. Even girls have their own sets of problems. I had considered it once or twice, what life would be like for me if  I had been born as a female. If nothing else, you'd get some kind of attention, right?

"Well, one day, after gym class, the hall was unusually empty since everyone had already gone on ahead of me to change, but..." She took a deep breath. "But as I was being unaware of my surroundings, that same guy snuck up behind me and lifted my shirt up and...he started fondling me right there...just as a teacher came around the corner. I thought it was fine, but you know what happened?"

I'll bite, "What?"

"NOTHING!" She said this with so much...anger that I was surprised. I could feel the outpouring of emotion she had inside of her way. Her grip on my hand tightened further. At that moment, I decided to give up! Why did that kind of stuff always have to happen to me? Why does it feel as though everybody wants to humiliate me when I've done absolutely nothing wrong?! I don't bother anyone, yet the moment I open my mouth, I get taunted! And when it's done so blatantly...absolutely nothing is done about it." 

Her voice was beginning to shake, threatening to turn her words into sobs at any moment. While I had always considered that her feelings were a lot more fragile than she let on, I didn't really know how fragile they really were. At this time, words no longer mattered.

"I always just kept smiling because I didn't want them to show how much it affected me! I could only imagine how people who treat me if I suddenly broke down and started crying and cursing everyone...but deep down inside me, something refused to do that. Considering what I had to put up with...to have my tormenters pity me was unacceptable. Even during the moments where I would let my frustration show, I always managed to calm down quickly...and thus I became "bipolar." ...I really, really hated everyone, though I did a really good job of hiding it. I even had perfect attendance."

She seemed to calm down and loosened her grip on my hands. She sat up and I could see a faint, but painful smile. "But you know, in high school...I realized it then...that there was no Milliardo who was going to be kind to me anymore. There was nobody who was going to smile along with me anymore and give disdainful looks to the people who made fun of me. I kept thinking, "If Milliardo were here, he'd protect me wouldn't he?" while looking at that photo and get myself depressed. I guess that's when I realized that I actually was in love with you. Heh, I went on so many imaginary dates with you and being held like that just now..." It was like a wall that had been standing for so many years finally crumbled and unable to hold it back anymore, the Angel's voice crumbled with it as mixed tears of frustration, sorrow and happiness flowed freely. "...Dreams came true..."

...And I really thought I had thrown them all away. Yet, as this...person cried her heart out, I was compelled to become that pillar of support. I'm definitely not the reliable person she makes me out to be. I mean, come on, I can't even solve my own problems and my self-loathing is really, really despicable. Even so, though, I can't continue to let this important person cry. 

"Ah?" ...was her response to having her breasts suddenly grabbed. "M-Mili- d-don't squeeze them so hard~!"

"I'm really un cool." I admitted as I continued to fondle her breasts. "I don't like people touching me and I don't like touching people just as much! I really can't deal with a lot of pressure and despite being so intelligent, I still do pretty dumb and stupid moves...I don't know how to give advice or cheer people up, especially girls and nobody's ever listened seriously to anything I've ever told them so..." What am  I doing? I don't even know anymore. As always, I'm just getting pulled into the flow of things. "I have a soft spot for girls, I'll admit it. All in all, I'm just one of those "nice" guy characters who are kept around by girls because he's so nice. I've never really considered myself being boyfriend material for anyone. I don't have a lot of money, I don't have a fancy car or, as you can see, a nice living space, either. Even for myself, I'd give no vote of confidence...BUT, I know I can't stay like this! I don't want to stay like this so..." there was a knot growing in my stomach, but the words I wanted to say came rushing out anyway, "entrust it to me. Your breasts, your words, everything! This time...I'll protect you. After all, people don't change, their priorities do. I want you...to become my priority! ...I...love you!"

It's one of those moments, where you actually regret saying something, but you're glad that you did anyway. Seriously! I can't believe I just said that! I mean, yeah, it's true, I've always had a crush on her which is why I went along with her during that summer field trip "date" way back when. Life really is complicated, but it's best to hang the sense of it sometimes. I think that's what Angel meant earlier.

Still holding her firmly in my arms, I laid back down and relocated my hands to her waist...or I tried to until she brought them back up to her bra and kept my hands there. I could feel her heart beating rapidly even through her clothes and the heat which had been bothering me up to this point, had become a warmth that I really didn't want to let go. 

In a voice that was barely above a whisper, accepted my feelings.