Expiration Date

I really need some reviews guys, this is for my book and all of the positive/Negative reviews would help me out so much! Thank you!

I’ve tried to give you my all,

But I know that’s not enough.

Maybe I’m just scared.

If that’s the case then maybe I’m just not ready.

Your eyes are a never ending tunnel,

And your words are tracks for the train to the future.

I know we promised forever,

But do you think that our forever is over?

I’d ask you to pray for us, but I’ve been doing that enough.

Maybe it’s over,

Maybe its not.

But how did you feel that one summer night, when we both promised forever with a kiss goodnight?

We were secluded into this darkness,

Pulled down by the fear.

Do you still feel the same?

My subconscious is telling me to put the pen down now,

But my heart is telling me to put more words on the page,

Because I know the longer you read,

Adds onto the time you’ll stay.

Do you think that our forever had an expiration date?

Were our hearts brought together just to be shattered,

Or to help be put together again?

The answers to these questions are irrelevant.

I know we promised forever, but do you think our forever is over?

Author's Note

Please give positive or negative reviews! Every word helps!

Reviews

[Boldapple]

I felt your emotions as I read this. I know few friends going through similar situations and myself I did as well. I like how you used simple words to express the poem, instead of using complicated poetry language like some hot shot writer would. Excellent work, keep it up!

[Serena Monteleone]

Yeah I tried to keep the language really simple! Thank you so much!

[Distantview123]

Sometimes things we feel will last 'forever' do not even come close. We only see this further down the line. Many love affairs do not last forever, even though we think they will. Sad but true. An expressive write. ~ Robert.

[Rosaria_V]

Awww wow this was just beautiful to read, your such a talented writer!!! :D I love reading your poems

[Serena Monteleone]

Aw thank you! That really means so much to me, you're so talented too and I love reading your work! Thank you so much!

[Sasha]

"Do you think that our forever had an expiration date?
Were our hearts brought together just to be shattered,
Or to help be put together again? "

This is amazing !
Keep writing !

[Serena Monteleone]

Thank you so much!

[Sasha]

no problem :)

[Katie]

It was a really good job, you used awesome similes and metaphors, very simple yet deep :)

[Serena Monteleone]

Thanks girl!

[Katie]

Your Welcome :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

You have your personal style of writing and I like it. I feel your pain. I experience it over and over. Thank you, Serena, for another good job!

[Serena Monteleone]

Thank you! That means so much that means so much to me!

[Samuel Pennell]

I really liked this a lot! I liked the idea of the eye being an endless tunnel. I thought that was the high point of the piece. To ask if your forever is over is a great way of putting it. I really liked this a lot. I loved it. God bless.

[Serena Monteleone]

wow thank you so much, this review was really helpful. Thank you for your kind words! Xoxo