dying with a smile

revamped version of a former piece.

walked a concrete mile

on tired, ropy legs

beneath a traffic jam sky.

 

dropped my good sense

at the curb,

and set my mind aflame.

 

shared a jaundiced cab

with a 14 karat Elvis Presley drone.

 

sugary lights bled into my sunburned hide.

melded into the gutteral glow.

 

for an uninformed moment,

I was the tender virgin yolk

of a hard cased debauchery;

a faceless sperm tadpole

fighting boardwalk bedlam

to be the first reach the soft folds

of a dream-filled numbness.

 

somewhere amid the red-ribbon fray,

I shivered in the invisible, frigid cone

of a long-legged sparkle

with a death grip

tractor beam.

 

she feels like a fractured

Forever.

 

start picking out plastic flowers

and welling up reptilian tears;

 

I’ll most likely be past tense

by morning.

 

just 206 more bones

for the Devil’s

big sandy gut;

 

one more lost soul

for the abominable bonfire.

 

I'll see you when you get there

if they let me keep my eyes.

Author's Note

thanks Roarke.
your revision ideas
made good sense to me.

Reviews

[roarke]

It just seemed to hook the reader right away. I think the first part of the other version might belong to a different write.

Then again, when I do this.... a month later I'll work it back into what it was originally... then a month after that.... lol.

It's good to stand back from the trees once in a while.
This swings straight through to the end. Nice work.

[Kenneth The Poet]

The final stanza hit home the most I think. A great work.