untitled

not sure if it's finished, or if it makes sense, but this one bothers me in the most delightful way.

when God formed me,

I think He used more spittle than clay.

 

feels like I’m slowly

evaporating.

 

kiss me hard,

kiss me now,

 

before I'm just salted dew drops

sleeping on your forgetful cheekbones,

 

or cold rain pounding

at your freckled shoulders.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Miss Coral]

ohmygosh do I love this.

I'm too not entirely sure why, but you accomplish quite a bit with the simplicity of the piece. Great descriptions to start off with, and the beginning gives enough away about the speaker in order for us to understand, without being overwhelmed by a person.

...I don't know if that makes sense. Regardless, lovely little piece.

[.]

yeah I understand why you like this..there is an irony in the words followed by a little vulnerbility..another splendid piece.

[roarke]

tears.

at least that's what I got and I think it's very cool. You have to think more than the words with your creations, as with the other entity's creations.

[SkinlessFrank]

your lovelorn moments always strike to the core....love the image of rain of freckled shoulders...gentle and sensual at the same time