stargazing from a storm shelter

 

stargazing from a storm shelter

 

a neon blackbird sings as a tornado rages

around him:

 

dances debris clouds like shattering dance floors,

mouth gushes crystalline wisdom,

focused eyes like still mountaintop lakes,

pure peace slaloming explosions

and tragedies like a graceful skier

on a powdery white page.

 

poetry that breathes a smooth violin solo

through the punk rock clatter of asphalt chunks

and bloodstained metal beams in slam-dance flux;

 

never frightened,

never weary;

not even a whispered complaint;

 

just a brilliant bloom of true beauty

swimming in a mayhem of swarming sewage.

 

I try to imagine myself as this laughter incarnate,

but a b*****d tear betrays my pride;

I know he’s the dark herald of a coming

flashflood.

 

I wonder if I’ll always be a pale cloud

blemish on the face of a fearless blue sky.

 

these faithless wings can scarcely

even hold my weight.

Reviews

[Tkess]

My only critique, and I say this out of my love for your poems, is that the end I kind of stumbled over. Normally your work kicks me in the balls from start to finish in a rapid fire succession, but here I found myself tripping over a few lines. I say this because normally i really enjoy your poems and I stand in awe of your imagery, but this one just lacked a little something. Not to say I didn't like it, I did, it just didn't have the flow I'm accustomed from you.

[MuSe Ampoule]

Greatness. You captured me in the first line and dragged me through to the end. The images you use never fail to hit hard.

"just a brilliant bloom of true beauty
swimming in a mayhem of swarming sewage."

[Kerry O'Connor]

a neon blackbird sings as a tornado rages...

Right off the mark, I want to steal these words... and so many other great images in a swirl of self-analysis.

[Lilly Negoi]

splendid vision here :) - i think i envy you for the "laughter incarnated" and the "b*****d tear" :)...and also for the faithless wings...but the third stanza is a killer...

[Lily Mae]

"I wonder if I’ll always be a pale cloud
blemish on the face of a fearless blue sky."

I love this and the intensity of the poem.. strong and yet vulnerable.. perfect..xx