3

3

 

If I were to count to ten,

Excluding the number three based on its obvious

Physical deformities, spiritual ambiguity

And multiple mental shortcomings,

What would the deeper meaning be?

 

Nothing can mean nothing

Anymore.

There are too many somethings

To be skimmed from such experimental

Activities.

 

Even Newton was a raving numerologist.

 

My issue with this sort of thinking

Is that we, the hairless talking monkey-nephew,

Made up all of these symbols and grunts.

 

We invented them,

We defined them,

We corrupted them.

 

To think that the number 3,

With its double-humped back

And silly crackly voice,

Could take on its own life and meaning

Is, somehow,

As stoopid as believing that my recent mis-

Spelling of the word “stupid” has some

Creamy decodable center.

 

I fear that the truth is

That we all want to be more like our

Heroes.

 

So,

If Isaac Newton counted to ten,

Excluding the number three based on its obvious

Physical deformities, spiritual ambiguity

And multiple mental shortcomings,

What would the deeper meaning be?

 

Probably something to do with Jesus’ red sandals

Matching Nostradamus’ green hat

As was foretold by Eve’s lack of a bellybutton

Which was directly related to Lord Xenu’s

Big yellow teeth and silky pink bunny ears.

 

“Another mystery solved!”

So sayeth the cross-eyed brontosaurus  

With the unkempt mustache

Who has been masquerading as the number

3.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[ju]

love it. obviously. it's funny, but not quite. can't get away from the fact that people DO base their whole lives on such connections. it does harm. winds me up no end. and so i am here, LOLing with the best of 'em because this is a very funny write. nagging little voice in the back of my mind working itself into a frustrated-rant-frenzy.

[Crowley]

Damn that 3.....messes the whole lot....brings an annoyng date to the party, thinks he is so cool cuz he drives a volkswagon "Thing", constantly looking at porn on the internet at work....he's odd.

[What happened to simple..]

LOL. =)

[Kenneth The Poet]

Favorited.

I actually developed an arithmetic around the idea that the number 3 was actually 8 cut in half, and that humans were only smart enough to switch 3 & 4 around in the typical order we say the numbers. This is awesome.

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

LOL! That was brilliant! Such an important point made in a fantastic way =D

[OT]

hahahahahha - absolutely genius!!! lol I love it! brilliant - probably something to do with Jesus' red sandals LOL!!! amazing

[Tasha]

this was really good, there's nothing else left to say about it. fantastic job!

[Kerry O'Connor]

Holy S**t!!

LOVE it. And I'm not even going to write down why. Just do.