precious pricks

precious pricks  

(I)

 

I am giving away my soul one delicious syllable at a time.

take a bite. you'll gain some of my powers.

jump in! the fire is delightful.

we'll burn together

like a real family

 

with an alcoholic ghost-dad,

a verbally abusive mother-beast

and a dead vacuum cleaner salesman

decaying slowly in the trunk of an old rusty hotrod dream

that sleeps in a lovely nook in the trees where dishonored roses go to commit suicide.

 

(II)

and,

sometimes,

by the light of the bong,

I’ll sit thoughtfully,

watch wounds become scars,

and wish we weren’t

so damn normal.

(III)

each precious prick

is another starlight stitch

in this masterfully embroidered

paradise

 

(IV)

 

wanna come into my room

and watch me bleed a symphony?

I'm the best at it! 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Amy Bumpas]

Love this! And the word usage is great. To me this poem is poweful,
blunt, and to the point. Love these lines:I am giving away my soul one delicious syllable at a time.
where dishonored roses go to commit suicide.
and,
sometimes,
by the light of the bong,
I’ll sit thoughtfully,
watch wounds become scars
wanna come into my room

and watch me bleed a symphony?

I'm the best at it!
Great ending...I wanna come and watch...lol
Oh, and I want some of your powers too:))

[emona]

"wanna come into my room
and watch me bleed a symphony?
I'm the best at it! " i can completely relate to this if you read my book "a goth's life" you will see why

[.......]

wanna come into my room
and watch me bleed a symphony?
I'm the best at it!

I so loved this part, this is wonderful. Enjoyable read.

[Ariel B.]

I really like "...an old rusty hotrod dream/that sleeps in a lovely nook in the trees where dishonored roses go..." The second verse is my favourite though - it's the most natural. Three and four feel just a little bit like you were trying a bit too hard to make them exactly right - they're good, and well done, but they don't flow quite they same as one and two.

[Kerry O'Connor]

Now there's an offer I'd find hard to refuse - stars first though. Haha!
What a spectacular can of worms you have opened here. I love to see them wriggle across the screen.