Sipping half-light with an old master

I

 

sweet dismantled soul

shattered-star-of-a-friend

 

bright

            splintering

 eyes

        sepia-toned

                         source spring

            of my own

deceptive       

                    s w a g g e r

 

II

 

each Orphic dagger-twist

a mere tangle in your

comet-tail beard

 

we both may be doomed

to dance wordy dervishes

with overblown dust storms

                but

                                only

                            you

have worn the barbwire crown  

that signifies what that life sentence             

truly means

 

III

 

now,

let’s bleed another

secret masterpiece

onto the lesser-known stones

of this vast celestial

junk heap

 

before the pretty buzz-word

buzzards

d

  e

    s

      c

        e

          n

            d

               again

Reviews

[Kerry O'Connor]

I love every word in the first part... each is perfectly placed for poetic and visual effect.
Part II - only you have worn the barbwire crown... that part is almost too painful to read. And the end, just spectacular.

Yep, in all it's pretty damn good.

[Robin]

Did I tell you the time I ...

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

I like the symbiotic verging on vampiric images and feel this evokes. It's dark but taunting, like whispers of an ambush predator from the shadows.
The bright shining star with the shadows, both as deadly as the other, both crashing down.

[Emily B]

cool stuff

[KAREN]

Love how you set this poem up! Love the last part of part II and all of Part III.

[Hayley]

Visually, it's awesome. Deeper into it, it's more incredible.

[Amy Bumpas]

I realy like the feeling of spiraling down, the anticipation that
awaits. I really like these lines: have worn the barbwire crown
that signifies what that life sentence
truly means


III


now,
let’s bleed another
secret masterpiece
onto the lesser-known stones
of this vast celestial
junk heap

[V.B.]

And now visual poetry! Is there anything you can't pull off perfectly with what appears to be even less effort than I need to write these glowing reviews?

I do find that a lot of the time, the placement of words in poems [I will unfairly call] like this tend to do very little for the poem itself, but you really manage to hammer home every image you describe by warping the shape of this thing.

And barbwire crown? Magnificent.

[Vanessa Rico]

Visually this poem is stunning. It made me want to read the poem. The descriptive words create a spell, which I was definitely under. Beautiful work