One Summer I had Scarlet Fever

One Summer I had Scarlet Fever

 

I

 

I was blanketed in a cold wet pain. She sang to me about babies crashing into sleep like derailed trains slide into suburban subdivisions. Everybody sleeps. Everybody dies. Her eyes were red from crying; almost scabbed over with dried blood and nightmare residue. The fever felt as if I’d swallowed the sun whole. She begged me to think of pleasant things, but I could only force a few bites of her bipolar applesauce before I sank into another ocean of melting faces and grinding bones.

 

II

 

He rolled in like a frozen tornado. He never screamed or cried. His expression was a wake-less lake as he destroyed everything in his staggered path. He whisper-slurred something strange into my mist; a smart bomb dressed in sheep’s clothing. I half-smiled, then, vomited the rancid love note into the plastic bucket next to my temporary grave. I wanted to die when he said he loved me. But, death was just out of reach. No matter how long the hellish journey stretched, I knew there would be no rest at the end.

 

III

 

The sickness broke suddenly and my soul fell, like sack of broken crystal, back into my weakened and battered body. She danced around my bed barefoot and sang a prayer that made partial recovery sound like miraculous resurrection. He was happy, too. Or at least he seemed like he was happy in between his fits of otherworldly rage. I wasn’t happy at all. I believed that she was just thankful there would be another usable target drifting around again. And, he was only happy because he would have someone to beat who wouldn’t cry beneath the pounding waves. With all of the strength I could muster, I wished that God or the Devil would destroy us all before the walls broke open and hatched our vicious sickness upon the naïve world. We were a cureless plague, and, infection was imminent.  

Reviews

[Kerry O'Connor]

Okay, I have found my tongue:
This scarlet fever poem is brutal. No holds barred, no word wasted and every emotion felt.

I didn't want to come up with some trite comment, because I know where that one is coming from. The pain of the child is still so raw in the man. You are seriously the best writer I am reading these days, either here or in the land of blog.

I mean...
"I half-smiled, then, vomited the rancid love note into the plastic bucket next to my temporary grave."

[Akshat♥]

i really like no. 1 among all..this one is the best...
i really like the words you use in this and also the structure you applied in it
is really awesome...good job:)

[V.B.]

You have this incredible, blunt, matter-of-fact way of stating things that are so many miles from the commonplace that it's almost hilarious. You can get away with saying "The fever felt as if I’d swallowed the sun whole" with no more apparent gravitas than I might say "The weather is nice today," and no one can even question you on it.

I hope to be reading your poetry for a long time. Careful that your serial kissing doesn't get you put in a place with no windows or doors.

[Amy Bumpas]

Out of all of this, I really like number 1 the best. I like this line too:
With all of the strength I could muster, I wished that God or the Devil would destroy us all before the walls broke open and hatched our vicious sickness upon the naïve world. We were a cureless plague, and, infection was imminent.
isn't that the way of the world anyway....us humans destroying the world.

[Emily B]

your words are thick, strong, brittle, aching and alive

[M Baker]

You always have a way with words; there is simply no doubt about that. I have never pictured applesauce as being "bipolar," but I love it! The second stanza seemed like an halucination brought on by the fever.

[OT]

oh wow! what a powerful write - it just exudes passion and unfortunately truth - just such dark descriptions - the scenes so macabre yet wish as you may it's a dream or nightmare it has that real kick in the gut to it! another brilliant write from one of the best writers on here!!! bravo!

[Matthew Kult]

I do enjoy your use of words and the structure you put them in. You are indeed a mastercrafter and absolutely love your use of metaphors. Your flow was spot on. Again, a master. Great work.

Regards,

Matthew

[Hayley]

This is one of your best. I am marveling.

[Kerry O'Connor]

I have no words.