Appropriately, there is no hard shiny surreal images to decipher making it plain to Joe Shmoe reader who doesn't get the heavy stuff. Things like this are better left plain and sharp as this work is, to slice through the ignorance. That this is so far removed from your usual I read it as you shouting to the simpletons: See...it's not hard to understand, it is what it is...and this is what you're doing.
Maybe I'm getting more out of this than I should...but I do tend to fall hard into your pieces...
ah you rhyme so well - the message so powerful in this one - resonating through the mind ha - you've mastered so many different styles - this one is powerful in its difference to your normal stuff - gives it that kick - makes the message stronger as Muse said - in your face - message over words!! nice!
the hard rhymes and powerful wording of this simple yet complex piece pulled me in and made me want to stay in the cruel world you created, here, so effortlessly. i would parch and wither and die within moments, though, i'm certain.
This was very well written, simple structure with perfect rhymes and perfect pacing. It posed a deep description of life that was very profound and cutting. Good write.
wow... it actually seemed like it was professionally written... really good work... the only thing that doesnt flow quite as well would be the last line of the second to last stanza. otherwise i love it!
*cocoabean*
Muse said it well: "plain and sharp...to slice through the ignorance."
Oddly, I didn't see this as a rant against greedy warmongering nations, but as the elegy of a single relationship, as it passes through it's several stages: timidity, lust, ennui, destruction. The repeated line "world in your hand" is, I think, what so strongly suggested that to me. A most engaging write, Bob.
Appropriately, there is no hard shiny surreal images to decipher making it plain to Joe Shmoe reader who doesn't get the heavy stuff. Things like this are better left plain and sharp as this work is, to slice through the ignorance. That this is so far removed from your usual I read it as you shouting to the simpletons: See...it's not hard to understand, it is what it is...and this is what you're doing.
Maybe I'm getting more out of this than I should...but I do tend to fall hard into your pieces...