ice-breaker

rise and roar!

through pulsing veins, teeth,

throbby purple uvulas.

war-eyes like yawning lions;

molten metal thoughts unleashed.

 

show me your skinless beast dance.

 

shatter the skyline with monstrous yawp-ruckuses, fiery mane frames the shiny gun barrel nucleus of callous saints, claws slash the polluted air of savage perfection.

bruises paint timelines, long piano fingers stroke the hard god-jaws of righteous destruction.

our naked blasts streak like comets,

venomous tongues jut through soft tropical scenery

and flesh dissolves on lie-splattered crosses.

 

now that our stone-faced manners have fallen like filthy torn flags on the red-stained battlefield,

the conversation can begin.

 

Reviews

[Kerry O'Connor]

As I was reading, I was thinking this is full of cave-man speak: rolling Rs roaring, yawning and yawping, chest beatings, venomous tongue-lashings... then the final line had me laughing at the sheer irony... Some ice-breaker!

... long piano fingers stroke the hard god-jaws of righteous destruction...

Powerful stuff.

[Cocoacandy]

its a bit wordy for stanza sense at times, and the flow could perhaps be worked on, but otherwise i like the work, keep it up and thanks for sharing sorry it took so long for me to get to your request...
*cocoabean*

[OT]

how did I miss this one? definitely an ice-breaker haha - I love "shatter the skyline" and " filthy torn flags on the red-stained battlefield" - nice, nice, nice!!

[freelancejouster]

your brilliance is showing again, my friend. there is a right and wrong way to break the ice and then there is something completely different and probably not quite appropriote, but still enthralling and likely quite effective; this.

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

=D What a brilliant take and summary on things. Fantastically constructed to push and convey the feelings behind it before sliding into the smooth finish.

[Deactivated_BurningDemo..]

I saw flame and fire. Passion and anger. It was very interesting. The last line made me laugh, it turned the poem on it's head. I rather liked this one. Well done.

[Amy Bumpas]

This reminded me of a man and woman arguing, getting things
off their chests, and then afterwards, they can talk like they
have some sense...sometimes we must do this.

[Nothing Personal]

now this will not only break ice, melt it...In globally warm times, u would be banned..he he..amazing..building a script on the mind..cool !!

[Robin]

the ragged rage boiling behind stone-faced manners , death to pretense , a b***h slap wake up call to reality , you have the floor ..