Some mistakes

My soul’s unquenchable thirst for the more dismal nectars led me to this stone garden. Rusty barbwire vines crawl up concrete stalks, and undead copper blooms smeared with green patina abound. It’s just as I saw it in my fantasies: she’s in the black ruffled dress, dancing barefoot on a scrapheap beneath a bitter black sky filled with angry orange stars. I call her name from the valley, but she’s forgotten how to hear me. I run, arms wide, until I’m entangled in sharp metal that tears holes in my naked mind. I swear I can hear a girlish giggle bubble up from a crack in the scorched earth. Tomorrow, they’ll find the bloodstains, but there will be no one on record to whom they can trace them. Some mistakes become vicious re-runs. Some ghosts never stop bleeding.  

Reviews

[Esoteric Strand]

This one really speaks to me. Like a kindred, poetical ‘spirit.’ I hope you don’t take this as an insult, but sometimes I think we toil in the same mine, or serving time in the same gulag of verse. The closing lines especially. Vicious re-runs, bleeding ghosts, you’re speaking my language. The tearing of the mind, the dancing barefoot on the scrapheap. As usual, when I come across a piece I like, I have trouble articulating myself. Well done. You remind me of a me that can write! LOL

Regards,

E

[KAREN]

Love the story this tells!
I swear I can hear a girlish
giggle bubble up from a crack in the scorched earth.
Great imagery!

[OT]

love this one!! you sneak away for a few days to your narnia woods haha and then come back with these little gold pieces!! imagery - oh the imagery which you do so well!! powerful and invasive - infecting the mind - that bitter black sky with the even more bitter stars!! and the ominous ending - "some ghosts never stop bleeding" - wow!!

[Crowley]

This is great dude....I love the line about the giggle. Frustration, temptation and utimately regret and justice. We walk around like hungry ghosts, giving what we can and sometimes, its not enough for some people...and guess what? We are the ones that worry about it....the death of the conscientious mind. Loved it.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

it's true, it's true.
it could almost be a companion piece to 4am. we should get them printed side by side. *smiles* yours punches firmer though..

[Moflo]

You really had absolutely fantastic imagery here! I love the allegory, hope it was intentional, that you put out here. Your last line is ideal, "some ghosts never stop bleeding," shows how vacancy leads to the same mistakes over and over. Excellent write!